This past Sunday our pastor had a great message. What I got out of it is that God does not pick and choose who can come to Him, but has an open lap for all of us no matter the stage we are in.
Our pastor gave us a great picture. He told us about a video done in black and white of John Kennedy. The video had a section in it where they were filming two young children playing on the front lawn of the White House. Then the video followed as the children got up and ran in to the front door of the White House. They ran right past secret services, ran up and down halls, past guards standing with serious business faces. Past the CIA. Right in to the Oval Office. Ran around the desk and jumped right up in to their Daddy's lap.
He said that this is what God is like. That we can run right past any obstacles, nothing stopping us and we can run right up and sit ourselves on our Father's lap. Pretty cool if you ask me.
I sat and closed my eyes, envisioning this. But the desk was gone. I was a little girl in a pretty pink frilly dress. I have sweet little white dress shoes on, white stockings. My hair is down and held back with a thin pink satin ribbon tied around my head. I am playing peacefully but then all of a sudden I just wanted a hug. So I got up and ran up the steps of my Father's house. Ran past dark figures, ran past enemies, ran past each haunting room in to my Father's throne room. There sitting in a big comfy arm chair was my Daddy with His arms outstretched. No desk in front of Him. He was waiting for me. With a big smile He says, "Hello pretty princess!" I run to Him and He scoops me up like it is no effort at all. I put my head against His chest as He wraps His strong arms around me. I whisper, "Hi Daddy" as He kisses the top of my head.
My dad died when I was five. Mom remarried when I was 8, divorced when I was 10 then remarried another man shortly after that. I don't ever remember having the freedom to jump up on a lap and being able to be held. Sure it may have happened but it is not in my memory. This vision that I had is one I would love to have as a warm memory. I long to feel like I am safe and held in someone's arms.
That Sunday I felt like that again. While standing to be prayed for I just stayed on His lap. I let the tears silently fall this time. There was a thought of feeling like an idiot but then I remembered that I am in God's house and I will not be judged. I let myself feel the hurt, the pain and the longing of Daddy's arms around me. When my pastor was praying my eyes were shut just trying to soak in the moment. Then my pastor said, "Feel the love of Daddy God". I started to cry a bit harder.
The God of the universe wants to be my Daddy.
The creator of all things; the vast skies, the deep sea, the biggest trees, the smallest trees, the creator of all wanted me.
He wants to love me. He wants me to run to Him. He wants to hold me. This was a feeling I hadn't had in a long time. To feel it at that moment was refreshing and like a tall cool drink to my soul.
Daddy loves me.
He loves you too.
No matter what I have done, no matter what darkness lurks around the corner, no matter who stands with weapons drawn against me I can run to Him, leap up on to His lap and put my arms around Him with love.
I just have to get up.
Sometimes I feel too knocked down to even move and that is when I can feel Him pick me up in His arms and hold me. As I stare limp in pain He shushes me and sings me a lullaby.
I am so thankful for the vision our pastor gave us. The vision that warmed my heart and let the tears fall that needed to so badly let loose.
How cool is it that there is no obstacle too big for our Daddy God. That we can just run to Him and He is there with open arms.
Thank you Daddy.