tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9075734.post3692121803355036603..comments2023-05-08T06:56:43.406-07:00Comments on A Joyous Life: how do you discipline??Miss-buggyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063991457181388922noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9075734.post-30102247792466475212007-10-04T05:54:00.000-07:002007-10-04T05:54:00.000-07:00i come from a totally different perspective now as...i come from a totally different perspective now as my kids are out of that stage, and i share with you a quote which will hopefully bring a smile to your face.. <BR/><BR/>"the first half of good parenting is just being there, and the rest you make up as you go along." <BR/><BR/>seriously, aside from all of the advice that you can find out there, overwhelmingly, you are a good mother because you are simply present in his life and you are loving on him regularly. <BR/><BR/>it's not easy, but wow.. Cooper already has a HUGE leg up just because of you and the passion you have for him and his development, which is so evident in the entries on this blog. <BR/><BR/>i know i'm not helping with anything that pinpoints the issues raised in this post, but just know, in a couple years when you look back, what you'll remember is the good stuff, and Cooper will be a better person because of what you've poured into him. <BR/><BR/>in my book, you're a great mom!!so i gohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08542069277228284973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9075734.post-10560120955683323482007-09-16T19:41:00.000-07:002007-09-16T19:41:00.000-07:00While I have no experience (and no advice), I woul...While I have no experience (and no advice), I would like to make an observation...<BR/><BR/>You have done a great job, if he handles teasing so well. The fact that he just moved on, and didn't come running to you speaks volumes about how he already (positively) sees himself. No easy task, Misty.Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12979627849688965995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9075734.post-25979632284350669182007-09-16T07:47:00.000-07:002007-09-16T07:47:00.000-07:00I do discipline him and say no. I say "no Cooper, ...I do discipline him and say no. I say "no Cooper, you need to gentle hugs"<BR/>Michelle saw me do it on friday so she is probably the best to tell you how I handle it. I take him from the situation and say no and sit him down and tell him he can't hug every kid and he needs to be more gentle. I do tell him no but at the same time I can't discourage him to be the affectionate person he is.Miss-buggyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06063991457181388922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9075734.post-85760833396327434192007-09-15T23:00:00.000-07:002007-09-15T23:00:00.000-07:00Yup, that's a sticky one. I didn't notice the kids...Yup, that's a sticky one. I didn't notice the kids laughing at him, that's rough. Kids can be so cruel. I've seen Pay's little heart just breaking when someone didn't want to play or take her hand. She takes it so personally, she doesn't understand that they just don't want to right now.<BR/><BR/>First he will outgrow it, secondly all infants/toddlers/kids go through some sort of issue like this(many times actually). They are just learning about social interaction and boundaries. You cannot take all of his behavior personally, I have heard from so many parents "what did I do wrong?" and in reality usually it was nothing.<BR/><BR/>Then, how to respond hmm.... I completely think he'll figure it out, and "grow" out of it but in the meantime I guess he can't go around bowling everyone over. I guess I would really stress the gentle over and over again, and it will get redundant but he will eventually understand gentle hugs are ok, aggressive ones are not. Then really praise and make a big deal when he is gentle. That won't teach him not to be affectionate(I don't think that's possible really)just gentle. Then eventually work on the personal space boundaries, that's a tough one for children, especially overly affectionate ones. They don't get that some people/kids just don't want you to hug them. Again, with time, they figure it out. <BR/><BR/>Please don't beat yourself, I think you guys have an amazing son and you are fantastic parents! Every child has "issues" that parents are desperate to figure out. You are not alone in this! Love you!Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12134673148360609256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9075734.post-87906121951430725882007-09-15T22:36:00.000-07:002007-09-15T22:36:00.000-07:00I know what you are saying by redirecting as oppos...I know what you are saying by redirecting as opposed to discipling. Especially in the areas of affection, because you dont want to teach him not to be nice. But I also believe there is a time that he needs to hear the word no. He needs to learn to hug them gently. Redirecting him just to hug you doesn't teach him not be softer with his hugs, it just teaches him that it's okay to hug you. <BR/>I'm not sure if you are redirecting him in other areas if he is misbehaving. Like I said, affection is a bit tricky because it isn't "wrong". But when he is an adult and speeding down the highway and gets pulled over, the officer isn't going to say "oh sorry, why don't you go speed along that road over there instead of this road"Nikkaruhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09369610225518170518noreply@blogger.com