Talking with God

So last night I was having a restless time trying to fall asleep. I was trying to pray and was having a very very difficult time. So I just lay there trying to listen. Hearing nothing. I feel so out of touch with God.

Then when I finally fell asleep I had a dream. It included the song "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia. Now I have not heard that song in a long long time. I know the song is about a guy but it really makes me wonder.

The chorus goes as follows:
"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn You're a little late, I'm already torn"


Now of course this is not all literal but more so hypothetical. Although yes I feel like I am out of faith. I feel torn in so many ways. Torn in my faith, in not finding the right church or hearing the right sermons. Lying naked on the floor, more alone on the floor, cold and exposed to the world. I feel like I don't know who God is anymore. I feel like I have pushed Him away. Now that I am trying to reach out I feel like I am being ripped apart. Needing Him, wanting Him, but not feeling Him. Not hearing Him.

I am going to include the link to the song because my brain can't even put it all together yet. I just feel so torn inside. Maybe God is trying to tell ME something?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV1XWJN3nJo


full lyrics:

I thought I saw a man brought to life He was warm, he came around like he was dignified He showed me what it was to cry Well you couldn't be that man I adored You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for But I don't know him anymore There's nothing where he used to lie My conversation has run dry That's what's going on, nothings fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn You're a little late, I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light To crawl beneath my veins and now I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn You're a little late, I'm already torn. torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie My inspiration has run dry That's what's going on, nothings right, 'Im torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor Youre a little late, I'm already torn