Just needing to Vent

I just got word that my real car is finished being repaired and that I have to turn in the car I have now. The car I have now is a courtesy car, it's a Mazda Protege 5. It is my dream car. Is it wrong that I don't want to take it back? My car was stolen as you may know and I am afraid of how it will run when I get it back, if it runs at all. I have so much stuff to do and what if it doesn't run? What if I have to get a courtesy car? One day at a time - I know but it was so nice having a dependable car. Now I get mine back, she is a good car though. It is just the feeling that I have of being violated. THe theives used my car for a joy ride and trashed it. I just am worried of how I will feel sitting in that drivers seat knowing that some jerk who didn't give a crap (sorry) took my car and treated her like dirt. Embedded chocolate in teh seats, left the window down to get rain water in and took things of minw that I worked hard for and payed for out of my own pocket. It makes me so mad.
So yes I know it is wrong to not want to take the courtesy car back, but I just feel so violated and I haven't even sat in the car yet. Just thinking about it makes me angry that someone can do this top people and think they are so smug because they are getting away with it. I just don't want to feel like a stranger in my own car and feel grossed out and creeped out because they touched stuff in my car last and smoked in my car (I am a non-smoker) and just bagged on my poor baby. I guess it's true though - you always want what you can't have.
ANYWAY..............
Just needed to vent once again.