"However it happens, when we are let down in a loving relationship, it can be a very painful experience. This is because it works against an essential ingredient of life that we all need - hope. All relationships need hope or the positive anticipation that our connection to this person will be safe, fulfilling, and growth-producing. We envision a bright and loving future with that person. But when there is a pattern of let-downs, the result is that hope deferred makes the heart sick (Prov. 13:12). And over time through many disappointments, hope - and love - can be seriously injured inside us.
One positive aspect of this sort of hurt is that it is a sign that your relationship is still alive. Your care and investment in the person causes you to be vulnerable to their behavior. Though they cause you pain, if you felt nothing it would mean that something has died. So that sort of hurt is a signal to you that this person still matters deeply to you."
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