Cooper got his first shots today

...And I think mom took it harder then the baby did!!
It just tore at my heart! I had to hold him sitting on my lap facing sideways with his head against my tummy. He was cuddled in and he was liking that position. My hand went onto his leg to hold that still while he got the needle. The first needle went in. He cried but then uh-oh...there was a second. He cried even harder. Nothing is more painful then hearing my little boy cry in pain and there was nothing I could do about it.
Then I had to turn him around so she could put TWO MORE in his other thigh! I didn't sign up for this! (well, I did but I tell you just before going in for the appointment I wanted to cancel!)
He was looking up at me, his whole face and head bright red from crying so hard. He looked up at me just as the third needle went in and he screamed at the top of his lungs and the tears fell. From both of us. I told Daddy that I couldn't do it! One more shot. I was crying good and so was Cooper.
There, the shot was done. I pulled him closer to me and kissed him and hugged him. Then started to feed him. He was still crying and pulling off. Went into the waiting room for our 15 minutes of wait time to make sure there was no reaction and continued to feed him. I kept apologizing over and over. Telling him I was so proud of him and he was so brave. He was such a good boy. So he calmed down and was eating away.
Then I would hear the next baby cry as they were getting their shots and it all would come back to me and I would cry again. Just remembering the way he looked up at me. Those beautiful blue eyes looking beyond his bright red eyelids and face. Looking up at me as if to say, "Mommy make them stop." MAN!! I am still tearing up thinking about it.
He is such a trooper. No Tylenol. Little bit of a fever but we are watching it. Cuddled with a mommy that felt really bad. I even stopped at the rest stop on the way to Aldergrove to make sure that he was ok.
Before we went in I prayed to God for Him to protect Cooper. He did. Cooper took it better then I did. I am already dreading the 4 month shots that are coming up in August.
My little man was cooing and smile before we even left the health unit and as I sit here now he is talking to his duck and smiling away. It really is tough being a parent. How many times can my heart break!?!