oh boy.....

I knew it was coming.
I knew it was bound to happen.
Yet when it happened I had a panic attack.

I am talking about my last pay cheque. I thought it was going to be the normal amount. But it wasn't. It was HALF!! Alright breathe........
That's it for me..... no more maternity. Now we are a one income family. I have no idea how the hell we are going to get through this! Wait a minute. Yes I do.
GOD.
A dear friend pointed out that yes the money has stopped coming in and this is now where the faith takes over. Yet I am scared. I want to believe. I want to not worry. I really do.

I was reading a special friends blog. Mandy had a post that really struck me today.
Give all your worries to God. Cause He loves me. No other strings attached. Give them to Him because He loves me. I am His child.

Oh Lord! If only you know the worries I have right now!

"I DO"

and you care? My petty worries that drag me down. You care? You want them? You want me to hand this over to You?

"my load is light Child. Cast your burdens upon me."

But what if they knock you down.

"I was brought to Earth as one of you. I know the struggle. I felt the pain. Lay it at the foot of the cross Child. That is where it belongs. Not on your shoulders. I am so much bigger and can handle it so much better for you. Trust me."

Alright......I am going to try my hardest. Convict me when I start to worry Lord. Stop me in my tracks. Help me to feel ease and trust. You have done it before for us. I know you will do it again. You do good for all those that love You. I love You. SO MUCH. It's in Your hands because I really can't do this on my own....

"thank you Child. I love you. You are special. I care for you. It will be ok. Trust me"

I will......


God ...... it is all yours. I can't do anything. I have heard it said that who by worrying has added a single day to their life (or something like that). I don't know where it is in the bible or if it is but it just came to my head. No point worrying about tomorrow or where food will come from. Where rent will come from. You already know that. Help me to take it day by day and enjoy this WONDERFUL life You have blessed me with. I am all Yours. All Yours.
This next chapter is scaring the crap out of me. However, there is a certain amount of peace just knowing that You already know what will happen next. That it will be better then before. That You will take this into Your hands. That YOU are big enough to carry it for I am weak but in You I am strong. I can't carry it. You can. Thank you almighty, wonderful Father.
wow....I feel better....