What an AMAZING weekend!!!

HOLY SMOKES is all I have to say!! Well I will have more but let's start with that. Pre-warning this is gonna be long!

I will be honest and tell you that I was hesitant from the begining to go to Alpha. I was even more hesitant to go to the retreat as some of you may remember. But I am SO glad that I went. On Friday night I had a breakdown cause I missed Cooper. I cried. I also expected to feel "different" from the moment I walked into the camp. So I was saying to my friends that I was frustrated because I felt no different, besides wanting to cry cause I missed Cooper. I was disappointed that the moment I got there and that night I felt no different.
I was one of those people that didn't expect to come home and be all like "whooooooaaa" (like one of my friends Steve put it) but look at me sitting here typing all giddy like just to explain this.
Saturday morning I still felt no different and was saying that again. Like, what is the deal. I still feel the same. Can anyone say HARD HEART!!! Then we had breakfast. The meals are another post in itself. AMAZING meals!! Near the end of the meal I started to shake. I thought it might have been too much cinnamon spread (lots of sugar). I went outside to take some pictures. The scenery was amazing. The shaking just wasn't stopping. So we went into the meeting room to watch the first of three Nicky Gumble videos that day. I was sitting there and the shaking got worse. Then the head spinning and dizziness. Followed by nausea. I just wanted to go back to bed. So I barely made it through the first video. Then I went to the pastor and asked if I could watch the second video on my free time. He suggested I actually read the book. Then I told him what was going on. He then asked "can we pray for you" I said, not in front of everyone. Then he asked if he could just grab one more person then they could pray for me. I hesitantly said ok. So we went outside with another lady and they put their hands on me and started to pray. While they were praying the shaking got worse as did the dizziness and the wanting to throw up. But then there was something new. The back of my neck was HOT. So I chalked it up to not feeling well and went back up to my bunk and cried cause this was so weird feeling. I was determined to lay down and not come down for the rest of the day. I will miss lunch and the group discussion but it is ok. I was in bed and was NOT coming out. I looked at my watch before I fell asleep and it was 10am.
Then I heard voices, looked at my watch and it was 11:15 so I did fall asleep. Group discussions started at 11:30. I battled with whether or not I would go down. But something in me told me to go. So I went down. We sat in our groups and talked about the Holy Spirit. Gina, a friend of mine in the group, told me that I looked different that my eyes had a shine and a light to them. I was like, whoa! Cool.
Then later that day we watched video number three. Nicky talked about how some people when they receive the Holy Spirit get all warm or hot in areas. A little light went on! I received the Holy Spirit! I was having a spiritual battle. I went up to the cabin and on the way back down looked around and saw no one so I did a little skip and jump. LOL. I was sharing with my group and they said that they did notice a difference. I think that Gina has a gift to notice the Holy Spirit or something. Cause she was mainly the one to see it then even noticed it more in two other members. Our group was really touched by God this weekend. I was happy and giddy again. I felt lighter. I missed it.
That night I got up and shared my testimony. That was REALLY hard but I am glad I did it. The next day during communion I ended up breaking down and I could only say "I am sorry God. I am sorry. Forgive me." It was my fault I walked away from God. I don't want to do it again. This needs to be the start of something new.
Now, if you read this far thank you. Here is a special treat. A picture from Saturday morning. The day my life changed yet again!!

Saturday morning:


My group. Had some with me in it but I didn't like it. LOL. So....can you guess who the one is that kept us laughing? ;)