A friend passed away tonight.

Marg Duncan. Please pray for her family.
I go to post on my blog here and I see my title "A joyous life" but I can tell you it doesn't feel too joyous right now. At 5 o'clock tonight my friend passed away from her cancer. DAMN CANCER. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, cancer. I am feeling angry. I am telling myself I wasn't a good enough friend. I should have kept in contact more. I should have known she was in the hospital.
I was laying in bed trying to find the words to pray. I can't find them. They are gone. I know in my heart that she is no longer in pain but it still hurts.
This is hitting really close to home for me. I lost a friend 10 years ago to cancer. So now thinking about Marg has got me thinking about Duke. Reliving that terrible moment. Reliving everything. I know this is going to be hard for some to read and it is even harder for me to type but I have to get this out.
It's not fair. Why is there cancer? Why?? STUPID CANCER!
My heart is aching. I am going to try to put on a smile and just push this all aside. I don't want to relive moments. I watched the sunset tonight and I thought of how beautiful it must look from Heaven. How Marg must be enjoying it. Pain free.
I am glad she is pain free but I think of all the people that are in pain from her passing. She was a wonderful and thoughtful woman. She always encouraged me. She loved my poetry. She lifted me up when I was down. But I wasn't there to lift her up. Thank goodness Someone with stronger hands was. Cause I am too weak. Much too weak.

This hurts......it hurts bad......just as I think I am done crying the tears fall again.....

Rest in Peace Marg. You are a great and lovely person. I will miss you. I love you. I am sorry I didn't say it more. I love you.