Thankful

Today I find myself extremely thankful.

I am thankful for where God has me right now at this very moment. I am thankful to be a stay at home mom. Although some days I want to just quit. But really I am proud to be in the position that I am in.

I love being able to stay home and raise my son. To instill Christian beliefs and to help him understand. Nothing makes me more proud when he gets all excited when "Blessed be Your name" comes on the radio. Cooper will yell at the top of his lungs, "Blessed be name Mom! Blessed be name!" Then he will start to dance and even sing along with it. My heart swells with pride knowing that he is my son and is happy to hear such a beautiful song. That he tells me he is singing about God.

There are times where he pushed my buttons, like this morning when he battled with me for 45minutes to eat his breakfast. But he has to learn and I am the one that has been chosen to raise him. That God sees something in me that says, "She is just right for this special little angel". I feel honored.

I feel honored to be at home with him. I feel honored to stand at the sink and do dishes because I know it is making my house a pleasant place to be. That God feels like I am just right for that job. Then there is the job to make Phil's lunch. To make meals etc. I am honored that God chose me.

Yesterday my car broke down. I was on my way to Vancouver from Abbotsford, about a hour and 45 minutes to get there. But before I got on to the freeway I had this feeling that I left my hair straightener on. So I turned around and grumbled about having to go back home. I get home, turn off the car, go upstairs only to see I unplugged it already. So I found myself cursing myself for not remembering.
Then I go back down to the car, lock the front door and get in my car. I go to start it and NOTHING. Turns out that it was my starter. Thankfully Phil's van was home so I used that instead. All the while mad, frustrated and just stressing out. Then on the road again I found myself doing something totally different.

I stopped the bitching and said, "Thank you God". Thank God that it didn't happen IN Vancouver. That it happened at home. Thank God that Phil's van was home. That I had enough money for gas. That we were safe. Thank God that I have a husband that can fix it. Thank God I left earlier then needed as a "just in case".

Although I know I don't act like it sometimes I am very thankful for God and where He has me. I feel honored and priviledged that He thinks I am the one to do what He needs me to do here.

I am thankful for my life. There is also a part of me, although very small still, that is thankful in a weird way for the losses. Because they are showing me that God is here. Thankful that because of them I can relate to someone else who may be going through the same things. Thankful for my mentors who are guiding me and showing me that He is here no matter what.

Most of all I am thankful for a Father that won't leave me.