what a wonderful weekend

so needed. Sue, Dennis, Phil, Cooper and I all went to Birch Bay for the weekend.
Cooper had his first hamburger experience. Dry of course. Had a couple lovely days. Woke to rain this morning only to have it clear up some before we left.
Cooper LOVED the pool.
It was great to get away but it is great to be home too.
Here are a couple pictures. Check out more on my fotopages.

Sunrise on Saturday morning


In his robe and cloth swim diaper on the way to the pool


In the pool with Daddy


like I said...more on my fotopages.
Cooper did something new this weekend. He can go from sitting to standing now. It is so cute!

Look what I got this morning in my email.....

hint, hint anyone???

SIGH..............

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 NIV)

oh boy.....

I knew it was coming.
I knew it was bound to happen.
Yet when it happened I had a panic attack.

I am talking about my last pay cheque. I thought it was going to be the normal amount. But it wasn't. It was HALF!! Alright breathe........
That's it for me..... no more maternity. Now we are a one income family. I have no idea how the hell we are going to get through this! Wait a minute. Yes I do.
GOD.
A dear friend pointed out that yes the money has stopped coming in and this is now where the faith takes over. Yet I am scared. I want to believe. I want to not worry. I really do.

I was reading a special friends blog. Mandy had a post that really struck me today.
Give all your worries to God. Cause He loves me. No other strings attached. Give them to Him because He loves me. I am His child.

Oh Lord! If only you know the worries I have right now!

"I DO"

and you care? My petty worries that drag me down. You care? You want them? You want me to hand this over to You?

"my load is light Child. Cast your burdens upon me."

But what if they knock you down.

"I was brought to Earth as one of you. I know the struggle. I felt the pain. Lay it at the foot of the cross Child. That is where it belongs. Not on your shoulders. I am so much bigger and can handle it so much better for you. Trust me."

Alright......I am going to try my hardest. Convict me when I start to worry Lord. Stop me in my tracks. Help me to feel ease and trust. You have done it before for us. I know you will do it again. You do good for all those that love You. I love You. SO MUCH. It's in Your hands because I really can't do this on my own....

"thank you Child. I love you. You are special. I care for you. It will be ok. Trust me"

I will......


God ...... it is all yours. I can't do anything. I have heard it said that who by worrying has added a single day to their life (or something like that). I don't know where it is in the bible or if it is but it just came to my head. No point worrying about tomorrow or where food will come from. Where rent will come from. You already know that. Help me to take it day by day and enjoy this WONDERFUL life You have blessed me with. I am all Yours. All Yours.
This next chapter is scaring the crap out of me. However, there is a certain amount of peace just knowing that You already know what will happen next. That it will be better then before. That You will take this into Your hands. That YOU are big enough to carry it for I am weak but in You I am strong. I can't carry it. You can. Thank you almighty, wonderful Father.
wow....I feel better....

Beliefnet Daily Inspiration

Today's Quote

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.

-Vernon Law

First hair cut

On Sunday, March 25, I gave Cooper his first real hair cut. Daddy kept feeding him breakfast and kept him entertained while I cute it. It really wasn't all that much but was enough for me. About a half an inch or so. Here are a bunch of photos......

Before:




during:



after:




Definatly my little man now!!

Oh Dear... A devotional I received this morning....

The Purpose Driven Life - Daily Devotional


March 27, 2007


Radiant Certainty
by Jon Walker

“I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” (John 16:20-22 NIV)

Worship/Fellowship — There are some days when, frankly, I don’t feel much like worshiping God. There are probably more days like that than I’d care to admit.

But usually those are days are when I’m staring at my circumstances and making faithless judgments about what I see around me. And I struggle with the God-truth that he is in the circumstances that surround my life – all the circumstances.

Have you ever considered that heartbreak is part of God’s plans for you, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”? (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We put so much energy into avoiding the hurt when God would have us embrace it. He wants us to know that he can heal our hurts, even use our hurts for his benefit, and for us to faithfully believe that sometimes the circumstances we think are harming us are actually positive situations God is engineering.

God, who is omnipotent, sees the breadth and depth of our circumstances, and he knows his plans for our lives. Thinking, then, like Christ, we can slowly, ever so slowly, begin to understand that avoiding the pain in our lives is actually an act of faithlessness. God calls us to faith in him during difficult circumstances; we’d rather place our faith in avoiding the circumstances.

As always, Jesus shows us the way – because he is the Way. Jesus embraced the pain of God’s plan for his life, and he did it with full faith that God was still working the plan to bring a “hope and a future” to your life and mine. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) Christ was so sure that his grief would turn to joy that he showed a radiant certainty in God’s faithfulness (“Radiant certainty” is a phrase William Barclay uses to describe the attitude of Jesus at the Last Supper).

Our Brother Jesus, who is also our King, was heading into a crisis that would cost him His life, yet He was so certain – radiantly certain – of God’s faithfulness that not one of his disciples even discerned the gravity of the crisis! Jesus was so certain of God’s faithfulness that it radiates throughout his whole being.

And we, too, can have this radiant certainty about God’s hand in our lives. We can say, when it comes to God’s faithfulness, “I know because I know that I know.” That’s radiant certainty! The Cross was Christ’s glory, not His penalty – and the same is true of difficult circumstances in our lives.

So what?

· God’s faithful character - You will develop this radiant certainty in God when you learn to trust in his faithful character. Your daily worship of God is irrevocably tied to your faith in God.

· Praise God anyhow - You must choose to praise and worship God every day, no matter what the circumstances of your life. Developing a radiant certainty in God begins with simple steps of faith and obedience.

· Respond to God, not your circumstances - When faced with a painful or difficult circumstance, ask God, “How do you want me to respond to this?” Keep your eyes wise for the ‘Why me?’ traps that lay about your circumstances.

You can be radiantly certain of this: Difficult circumstances are opportunities for you to intentionally focus your faith in God and to see what he will do to give you hope and healing.

© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.

So many thoughts

running around in my head that I don't know where to begin.
I feel so lost. I think I may be angry at God too. I am tired of people being taken out of my life. Yes I do know that it is for a reason. I just never knew how much it hurt until it happened to me then I realized that it was an experience I never wanted to happen again.
Every time I open up to someone for some reason God takes them "away". I HATE it. I don't like change. To some extent change is fine and I know it is good but doesn't mean that I have to like it. Call me selfish I, quite frankly, don't give a crap right now. Sure I am selfish but it sure as heck doesn't change any of my feelings.
A special friend stepped down from pastoring our church this weekend. I cried. Then cried some more and some more. I don't know why I took it so hard. Wait yes I do. Cause I am selfish. I am inconsiderate. I know that it is time for them to move on and grow in ways outside of the church. Time for some rest for them. But CRAP!! This fricken hurts. It hurts bad. Without Susan I am not so sure where my life would be today.
A chance meeting 2 plus years ago. Brought me into her home. Under her wing. Started the journey with God. I was vulnerable. I allowed myself to let her in. Allowed myself to cry to try to heal.
I actually used to go to a counselor too. I was reffered to this place. Last counseling session I was told that the practice was closing. Fine I will follow her to her new office. Nope she is retiring. The office is relocating. There is no subsity available. Thus no more help for me. LOL. I guess I was beyond help anyway. As I was talking to her about loosing Susan I saw the look on her face change. Then she had to break it to me that she was leaving. Two people. In one week. Damn it. Damn it all.
I allowed myself to be vulnerable and God just decided that those people didn't need to be as strong in my life anymore. I think that I am pretty angry right now. I am tired of people being taken away. Tired of loosing people. It is stupid. It hurts. What kind of lesson does it teach me? Well let's see it teaches me the lesson that I learnt years ago. My problems are my own. I don't need to burden others.
Don't get me wrong I am truly happy for these wonderful ladies. I am just so hurt. I decided that I had enough. It is NOT the ladies fault. It is my own choosing. I let people in then I end up getting them taken away and I have had enough. That's it. The wall is up. The mask is on. I will always be "good" or "fine". That way there is no chance of me getting hurt. I am mad at God. There is a part of me that wants to scream and yell but I sit silent.
Sue posted this the other day.
"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.
Sylvia Robinson"
funny thing is that I got the same email. I got the same devotion and I decided that I needed to blog that saying. I didn't to begin with cause I was trying to figure out my own world. Letting go. Why if it makes us strong, or stronger, does it hurt so damn bad.
I find myself trying to hang on. Clinging to my wall that I have decided to rebuild. Not wanting to let go, not wanting to move on. Being selfish.
I love these women dearly. They have been a major part of my life and journey. As I said I DO NOT blame either of them. I blame myself and to be honest I am blaming God. I am embarassed to admit it. I wish both of these wonderful women lots of success. I wish for myself to get over being so selfish and inmature and move on.
Damn it change BITES.

A Word With You.

Got this in my daily email devotional today.
Good picture and analogy.

" Our grandson has one of those inquiring minds. So he really likes a gift he
got for Christmas; it's called a rock tumbler. You'll never guess what it does.
It tumbles rocks. The rock tumbler is placed in water, and these boring old
rocks are placed in the rock tumbler, you turn it on and you let the good times
roll! Those rocks start spinning, flying, and crashing into each other as they
churn around in the water. All they need is some music so they could have a rock
concert. Right? The atmosphere inside that rock tumbler is pure mayhem. But
after all the rockin' and rollin' and clashin' and crashin', something pretty
amazing happens. Before those rocks went through the tumbler, they were just
drab, boring hunks of stone. They come out displaying a beauty you would have
never guessed they had!

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about
"Turbulence That Transforms."

If the real beauty of a dumb old rock is uncovered through turmoil and
turbulence, don't you suppose that could be true of us as people; of you as a
"people"? Could it be that all the hits that you've been taking right now are
actually part of God's "tumbler" to give you a beauty that you've never had
before? That's very much His way. Pressure and heat make a lump of coal into a
diamond. An oyster's irritation and aggravation from a grain of sand ultimately
emerges as a pearl of great price.

Maybe you need to stand back from just looking at what's happening to see
what God is doing through what's happening. Isaiah 61, beginning with verse 1,
our word for today from the Word of God, reveals some of how turbulence can
transform you. The Son of God says: "The Lord ... has sent Me to bind up the
brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness
for the prisoners." You may feel like you're in one of those categories: you're
brokenhearted, you're captive, or you're a prisoner to darkness. That's not the
end of the story.

God's Son goes on to say He was sent to "...comfort all who mourn, and
provide for those who grieve in Zion; to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of
praise instead of a spirit of despair." Jesus makes beauty from the ashes of
your life, gladness from the grieving times, and praise emerging from a time of
despair.

Here's how God wants to help you look when you come out of the tumbler:
"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the
display of His splendor." God wants to use the tumbler to make you strong and
indestructible like an oak. Suffering makes wimps into warriors. And He wants to
use the turbulence to give you such a beautiful relationship with Him that you
will be a stage to show His glory. Ultimately, the Bible says, "you will be
named ministers of our God." You'll be equipped by the hard times to be a
powerful instrument of God in other hurting lives.

The shaking you're enduring, the hits you're taking are tools in God's hands
to bring out an amazing beauty in you: a strength, a tenderness, a maturity, a
confidence, a compassion that come only from being beautified in God's tumbler.
So don't wallow in the "why is this happening?" quagmire. Instead, keep asking,
"How can God use this?" Don't despair when you keep running into things and
things keep running into you, when your whole world is spinning and colliding.
This isn't to destroy you. This is to give you a beauty you've never had before.
If you let God have His way in this turbulence, you will "display His splendor"
for the rest of your life!"

Ron Hutchcraft

I love how he walks!

I love how he walks. Arms up. Kinda like a monkey. He has always been my little monkey. This totally made me laugh and brought a smile to my face then made me laugh even more when seeing it on video!! He's really starting to give the cat a run for her money!!
Hope you will enjoy!

Reflecting

For some reason I find myself reflecting over the last year. So much has happened. I can't believe Cooper is almost one.
I was remembering my birth experience. I am so thankful that it was such a happy one for me and it went so smoothly. After hearing some of the horror stories I am so glad mine went well. And I got this out of it:



Then I was remembering how tiny he used to be. As I sat in the dark room this morning nursing Cooper I remembered when he barely fit on my arm. He was so tiny....



compared to this morning when I looked down at him and saw how BIG he was. LOL. He doesn't fit along my arm. His bum reaches over to my other hip. His legs reach off the side of the recliner.
He would lay on my chest and stretch out and still be above my belly and now when he lays down and stretches out his little head hits under my chin and his feet go half way down my thighs.
Sniff...sniff.......so big.
I remember first starting him on food. That first taste of rice cereal.



and this morning I put a piece of dry toast onto his tray along with some scrambled egg yolk. And his cup. He eats all by himself.





Each day he does something more to make himself that much closer to independance from Mommy. Each day makes it so that he can do things on his own. But sometimes only the Mommy will do and that makes me feel so special.
Close to tears today just remembering. How the heck am I gonna be on his birthday? Where did the baby go? I am so thankful for this little man. He makes everything worth it.
Thanks for reading this far if you did and letting me share my babble. My sappy remembrance. How time flies when you are having fun..........
Thank you God for your amazing gift of a miracle. Every time I look at this perfect little boy it blows me away how You can create something so beautiful and You believe in us to raise him. Thank you

I got my camera back! WAHOO!!

Look how much he has changed in a month! The first pic you can barely see the 4th tooth on the bottom left (your right). But the second pic you can see that it is through alright!! He has 8 teeth total. Four on top, four on the bottom and his lower right molar is coming in. He was a little under 9 months in the first pic and the other one was taken tonight. He will be 11 months tomorrow. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!

"Facing Your Giants"

You'll never know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have."

-Max Lucado

Thank you Lord for that reminder. We all have our own places where we have nothing and can only rely on God. I know I have been there. It taught me that He loves me and He will get me through. Taught me to have the faith the next time I find myself with nothing but God again. I think sometimes He puts us in these situations to remind us that all the material things, all the money, all the friends in the world mean nothing if you don't have Jesus to fall onto when those "things" disappear. No matter how short a time they may be gone or how long. He is waiting.

Check this out!!

sorry I couldn't post it here but for some reason with the new blogger I can't post videos. Weird. Must be something I am doing wrong. Anyway.........click on the link below..........


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdpwBYluCmk

Jeff......you were right..........(big ol' gold star for you!)

So yesterday and today Cooper was acting really weird. Laying on the floor. Tapping at the side of his head. TOday was worse. Tapping the right side of his head with an open palm. Then tugging on the top of his ear. I called his doc. He didn't have anything available but my doc had a spot.
So I took him in. My doc used the smallest ear thingy they have and looked in and said..."Ohh....There is a bit of inflamation" Then he said, would you look at that.
So Cooper now has meds. Thank God it happened now, not like I ever want it to happen, instead of in a month when I loose my medical. I am supposed to give him this stuff after he eats. It is called Pediatric Biaxin.
I am nervous.
The pharmacist said that it can cause stomach pains. That there could be vomiting. My doc told me if he starts vomiting or gets a fever that lasts a day to go back. I am scared to be honest. He has never thrown up.
Thank God for medical though!!
Any one have any advice to get me through this? I know there are lots that have had this happen before. I know I sound pathetic but I used to get them SO bad when I was a kid. I remember the pain. Poor baby. Any tips or pointers?

I know it is late but I got the full name

she is so pretty!



So is her sister! Here is the "announcement" I did when she was born. I think they look alike. What about you??

A fun day!

Yesterday I got to meet Miss. Biscotti Brain herself!! She is such a sweet heart! Just like I pictured her! There are so many people I would love to meet from the blog world and she was one of them. She is so fun and her laugh is infectious!!
Sue and I went and picked her up from Lori's house. Lori wasn't going to come for dinner but we managed to twist her rubber arm and she ended up coming. I had a blast. So there we all were in White Spot. A BC restaurant. Lori, Erin, Sue, Cooper and I. It was so fun.
We got to talking about Lori's dog Frodo. Now if you have met Frodo you know that he is definitely a one of a kind dog! I love him! So does Phil. He has so much spunk. Erin was talking about his drool habit and I said watch out for the other end! He lets some wicked farts out too. She had no idea. She said she was pushing his head away and turning him so she didn't get the drool on her. She was lucky she didn't get farted on.
So we got to talking about fart. LOL. Funny! I have a friend that would have been RIGHT at home with that conversation. Lori was telling us about her first encounters with Frodo. Pretty funny.
Then I opened my big mouth......
I told them how Phil (sorry hun....) can let some wicked ones go silently but then try to blame it on Cooper. He will own up to them most of the times but sometimes he blames it on Cooper. Then I hear it. HI PHIL!! I look over and sure enough Phil was walking over to the table. He was coming to pick Cooper up for me so I can have some "girl" time.
OH BOY!! Did my face ever go red. And the table just erupted with laughter. That deep from the gut laughter and the more we laughed the louder we got. It was great. I actually saw some people look at us but then they started laughing. The contagious laughter.
Phil had no idea how perfect his timing was. I told him later and he just laughed. Thankfully he has a great sense of humor. But I bet he will read this and that will be the end of me. LOL!! But all in all it was such a fun night.
Hoping more people I know will come and visit the West Coast of Canada. Hey Jeff...next it is your turn with your wife and kids! I would love to meet you all one day! It is kinda cool how small our world is. It is also funny how an event like yesterday is turned into something that we now call as "blogable"

It's 4:30 am what are you doing?

I am sitting here listening to my baby scream and cry. Yeah I know that sounds terrible but there is nothing else I can do.
This is the second time we have been up tonight. Well second for me, first for Phil.
Cooper is sick. You would think that like most kids he just wants to cuddle with Mommy and or Daddy then he would go back to sleep. Well........I truly have a one of a kind son.
He doesn't want cuddles. I pick him up and hold him and he does the same thing. SCREAMS. We figured he is probably in pain from the cold. We gave him motrin. You would think it would make him sleepy. Nope he is still screaming.
sigh............
I hold him and he fights me. Kicks at me and hits me and screams. I put him in the crib and he does the same thing. Phil holds him and the same thing. He will calm down for a minute or two but then go right back at it. I go in there and he gets worse. Doesn't want to be held or to lay down.
Come on kid! You are sick.......most people sleep when they are sick. Nope. Not my one of a kind kid. I wouldn't trade him for the world. But I can tell you that Daddy's new invention of a baby tranquilizer is sounding appealing right about now. JUST KIDDING!
Oh I hope he starts feeling better soon. Sleeping through the night again would be nice. lol.
Then I start to wonder...........hmmmmm.......he's inconsolable. When does that become a concern? He won't stop no matter what. When do I become concerned about that if at all? Anyone??

oh dear....

rough night sleep for us all last night. Cooper kept waking up crying.
He sounded all snuffles. He never got to the point of us needing to go in there until about 6 this morning.
I think he has a cold. But could it be his molar coming in?? We thought we saw something on the top right side. The back, behind where the eye teeth would come in.
The snot (for lack of better word, my mind can't think anymore) is clear. No color what so ever. He is drooling like mad and just a chomping on his finger.
We can't tell yet if it is a cold or not. There was a bit of a cough but it could be the stuff draining into his throat. (Gross)
Phil and I are a bit stuffy though. It could be my house too. Not sure. So many variables. sigh.....
I love snow and stuff but I think we are ready for spring........

I took this picture yesterday & I absolutely LOVE it

What a day!!

yesterday I cleaned house all day. Save for the walk I went on with Cooper. Which was really nice and we both enjoyed it.
Then today I pulled out the 12 month clothes :( Guess it was time....so sad....
We have been SO BLESSED with all the clothes we had given or loaned to us. I even kept some clothes to the side that won't fit in the drawers to loan them to my neighbour considering everyone else I know has GIRLS!!
So I did 4 loads of laundry. Folded 5. A load from yesterday. Good thing I like to do laundry!! The 5th load is washing. It is diapers and needs two washes then hang to dry. It has been a LONG day!!
Just thought I would share the mass of clothes my son has. He has more then me for crying out loud!! And this doesn't include the 12 month shorts that probably aren't gonna fit this summer. Thank you God for this blessing..... You will see some of the drawers, the pant and the shirt ones, the clothes are rolled just so I can see them all!!









needless to say I am so exhausted! And I am NOT asking for clothes for his birthday!!

little things?

You know, I have had some things going through my head lately. I am not going to share them though cause I don't want pity.
I have been riding things out. Just letting them go. Ignoring them.
BUT.........
why is it that one LITTLE thing can make you feel like just flying off the handle!
I didn't. But I sure as heck wanted to.
one thing after another.......God will provide..........and He has. That I am thankful for and that is what keeps me going day in and day out. Not to mention the little rug rat that He has graciously blessed our lives with. He is crawling at me feet laughing and talking away.
Ok.......that was good. Just saying that just brought everything down a notch or two.
thanks!

I am a wee bit choked

And I don't even know if I spelled that right!!
I LOVE my new camera. But it started making a clicking noise. So I sent it in to best buy to try to get it fixed. It has been two weeks. I was told it would take two weeks to 2 MONTHS!!! I got the extended, extended warranty so it won't cost me anything. BUT COME ON!!
I just called there and it is STILL IN TRANSFER!! It has been two weeks and it went to their repair depot and now it is going out to another repair depo. Give me a friggen break!!
They said that if it takes longer then 2 months they will just give me a new camera. OH YOU BETTER BELIEVE I AM HOLDING THEM TO THAT ONE!! I bet it will be OVER two months.
The guy on the phone said it could be a week before they even know what is wrong with the camera. So help me if I get it back and it is worse or something. Cause the camera was expensive they have to try to repair it first. Then if it is something that is more then what the camera costs to repair they give me a new one.
I just want my camera back!! Sniff, sniff..........I got a new baby to take pics of and I have yet to get into the camera and play around with the options.
Thanks though to Sue for graciously lending me her camera. At least I get some pictures!!
sigh........
I feel better now for venting

Peek a boo

Funny thing is that when we were playing this back he was laughing at himself. Ignore my voice and laugh. Sorry it is so dark.......

He's definately ALL boy!!

Yesterday when I was nursing him before his afternoon nap his legs started going a mile a minute. Then he farts. Doesn't even pull away from the breast but starts laughing. So I start laughing and he giggles then goes back to eating.
My kid laughed at himself farting. Now you tell me that isn't ALL BOY!! LOL!!

Cooper update....again....

Cooper's doc tried to get him into a pediatrician. The ped was not available until March and he wanted Cooper to be seen today or tomorrow. So they called another doc then called me back. I asked if I could still put the cream on him even though it was bleeding. She relayed to the doc and the doc said that they would call me back. They canceled the pediatrician and got Cooper into a dermatalogist. Cooper got in today.
I knew it was eczema but what I wanted cleared up was that it was not an allergic reaction and that it was just bad eczema. Also guided in the right direction.
Just after 11 this morning we got in to the doc. He said that Cooper has super sensitive skin. He was impressed at how alert Cooper is, how talkative he is, how friendly and how close he was to walking.
So what he said to do about his skin.....
DO NOT put bubble bath in the water. Not good for baby's skin.
Keep his room cooler and not too warm.
DO NOT wash him every night. He can have a bath but not to use soap or any thing in the water.
Put vaseline on his eye lids. Cause most things that are used for eyes are made or created from vaseline.
To use plain ol' Aveeno body lotion on the other parts.
DO NOT use any baby lotion.
DO NOT use anything that says baby on it cause they add perfumes to it so that it smells all pretty. That it really is not good for his skin. It is too harsh.
DO NOT use bounce (I had started that a while ago)
DO use a milder, less abrasive laundry detergent, gotta get money for that one! Found some good stuff.
So no perscriptions. Just the Aveeno and vaseline. NO baby products. Too harsh for my little mans sensitive skin.
The doc was GREAT!! I walk in and see him walking around in his socks! Very laid back. He was very friendly and took the time to talk to Cooper. While Cooper was waving at him and he waved back at Cooper and talked to him. Told me to come back if I get concerned. Just that I have a sensitive skinned little boy. That his skin will go back to normal. No need to use the cortizone creams I was given. So we are gonna take it day by day now. Funny thing is that the vaseline already seemed to take down the redness.
Why are all the good doctors only specialists? Don't get me wrong I love Cooper's family doctor but I LOVED the ped and this dermatologist was awesome! The good ones always seem to be specialists and just when you find a good one you can't keep them. Like my maternity doctor. I guess they are specialists for a reason.....

Poor Cooper

I feel so bad for Cooper. He has eczema so bad. We saw the doc on monday and he gave us yet ANOTHER cream to try and it didn't work. We went back yesterday now he wants to get us in to see a ped. THIS week ASAP.
It started on his legs. Then it went to his arms. Then it went to his poor little face and now his belly and back. We were even using a milder detergent that is less abrasive. We put lotion stuff in the tub. We even put lotion on him. NOTHING has helped. I thought maybe it was cause I was drinking milk so I cut that out for a few days and it didn't help. And the doc told me I could drink milk and it wouldn't affect him. I beg to differ on that one!
Plus the last few nights, well two weeks actually, he has been waking up at least 1-2 times a night. Crying. We would go in there and try to put him down. The only thing that worked was rubbing his belly. It is like he has gas. Now I wonder if the two are realted. The only new things he has had are cheerios and saltless crackers. But he was eating those for a few weeks prior to all of this.
The eczema around his little eye is starting to bleed now. Poor kid. I cry for him. It has to hurt. It has to be itchy. I am waiting to hear back if I get to see the Ped we saw when he was younger. Pray with me that we do. She was SO nice and it is hard to find good doctors that listen to you and take general concern and worry for the baby.
Here is a pic. The pic does it no justice. It looks so much worse in person. Plus it is even swelling around his eye. I don't know what to do! Doc please call today with the appointment with the ped I like. (her name is Dr. Cohen) Please pray......sorry if it all sounds so trivial....
he used to have such perfect skin!!

some random thoughts....

*note to self: when and if we ever get our own house do not paint kitchen cupboards white. They are the most used therefore show dirt more and take a while to clean!!!


also.....
Last night I found myself reflecting on the whole fire incident (see previous post). Not only was I thankful that we got out quickly but I was thankful we had house insurance. I know some people that don't and I just don't get it. $30 a month for piece of mind.
Then I got to thinking thank God I only have one child. I was thinking about Michelle and Rod. Not only would they have to get themselves shoes but first and foremost they would have to grab two kids. Two blankets. Then what if one of them is home alone with both children. Double the work. My son thought the noise was funny, but what if he was screaming cause he was scared. Then add another kid into the mix!! Man I give you parents with more then one child lots of credit. Then there is her neighbour that has 5 kids. WOW!! Good luck with that one!!
I worried that if I had more then one child what happens if.....you know.....one child is hiding scared out of their pants. The other one is screaming at the top of their lungs and if you want to add another one into the mix lets say they are running around. Boy oh boy. That would be tough.
Then I got to thinking. I don't have much time left for just Cooper and I. He is sleeping now so I got cleaning done and am posting. But when May rolls around our plan is to bring in a couple of kids. Then no more Cooper and mommy time as much. My stupid mistake is that they are all so close in age. One is a month younger then Cooper and one is a week older. FUN STUFF!! Almost like having triplets. What am I getting myself into!
Plus Phil needs to find a new job. Not sure if he can do his anymore. But he doesn't know the field he wants to get into. He is very non chalant about it. He thinks he can fall back on EI. Yes he can but.......there is a 4 week waiting period and EI is only a percentage of his wages. That won't pay the bills......
Speaking of paying the bills....I better go get into real clothes so when Cooper gets up we will go and do just that.
Just random thoughts going through my head. Nothing I am stressing about cause there is not point. God has a plan. Just trying to be patient enough to wait it out. ;)

WELL THAT WAS FUN!!!!

*note: sarcasm

So I just got back in from being outside for a half hour. The fire alarm went off in our building.
I was making dinner and had the oven on. The next thing I knew the smoke detector started going off. So I thought I created smoke but it made no sense since I had nothing in the oven yet. Dinner was just finished being prepared and I was about to put it in. So I grabbed a tea towel and ran to the detector and started to fan at it. It wasn't going off. Oh crap! What did I do! Cooper was in his highchair laughing away. He thought it was a fun noise. My ears were hurting but he was cool with it.
So I grabbed Cooper and picked him up to go to the neighbours to see if he could help me turn the detector off. I opened the door and it was sounding in the hallways too. WOW!! There is a fire in the building.
I pop back in the door and grab Cooper a jacket, a hat and a blanket. I know that sounds bad but I know where everything is and it was a matter of seconds. There was no visible smoke outside my door. Then went flying to the door with Cooper in my arms. Grabbed my coat and shoes. Opened the door and checked again for smoke. All clear. Headed for the stair way. People were chatting in the halls and I was like, ummm we should be evacuating!!
So we were all standing out side in the rain and people who didn't want to get wet stood just outside the front doors. I thought, well how dumb is that! We don't know for sure if there is a fire or not. We stayed away from the building rain or not. I was standing out there with my little boy and I thanked God that we got out ok. Then I thanked Him for us having house insurance.
Fire department came, Cooper thought the sound and lights were fun. Turns out there was actually a fire in our building!! A suite on the second floor. There was a pot that actually caught on fire. The sprinklers put it out. Thank God for sprinklers!! So the apartments below the one where the fire was has some water damage but we are all ok.
We got out safe and sound. We are back inside and the dinner is in the stove. Hope Phil understands why it will be a late dinner. LOL. I know he will!!
I am still shaking from adrenaline!!

not sure what to do!

So my little man that used to sleep through the night has been getting up now for the past 2 weeks make that 4. I don't know what to do anymore. At about 10 he wakes up SCREAMING. Sometimes he has gas, others he doesn't. Then he wakes up at 3 am sometimes 4 and then is up for the day at 6.
I am totally exhausted. I can't handle it. Last night I walked out of the apartment while he was screaming and Daddy tried to deal with it. I just needed some breathing space. I come back hoping he had stopped and nope he didn't. He was up for a hour. Turned out he had gas last night. But what about all the other nights.
I am wondering now if maybe the wheat in Cheerios and crackers, both which he started not long ago, is hurting his belly. Process of elimination right? So say bye bye to crackers and cheerios. Sucks cause he really liked them.
Then there is the possibility that he is not getting enough milk. He will nurse. But now I am not sure if he is nursing out of convenience and it being offered to him or if he is actually hungry.
We are going to try something tonight. When he gets up tonight we are going to get Phil to get up with him (see if he will) and offer a bottle of water. Then keep only offering him water. Maybe he will see there is no point to get up for water. I know that he is capable of sleeping through the night. He used to do it for crying out loud. When he slept all the way through so did the rest of us and the 6am wake up for the day was fine.
Last week I almost fell asleep in church. To be honest, I don't see this week being any different. PLUS he has decided not to like nursery. I keep putting him in but the Daddy is the big sucker (LOL) and keeps pulling him out cause he is crying. He just needs to be distracted and he is fine.
Sigh.........whine, whine, whine.....But I am SO tired!!

The importance of making sure car seats are installed CORRECTLY!!

Always get them double checked by the fire department or ICBC. This video is amazing. Amazing that the child survived. Nothing graphic. But wait until you see the shape the car is in. Mom lost her life. Baby only had some scrapes.....

hope the video works

http://video.nbc4.tv/player/?id=63323

The Lovely Ladies (and more pics)

Payton's a big sister!!



The new family of FOUR!!!


And if you didn't catch it in the other pictures. That is pink you see!! IT'S A GIRL!! She blew everyone away!!
Born this morning at 8:37am.
Weighing 8lbs 13.5ozs
Measuring 20.5" long

No name as of yet. Got some cute ones being thrown around. I AM SO EXCITED!! She is here! Although I could have sworn it would be a boy!!


I'm an Auntie again!! (not the best picture but you can only do so much editing!)


another Daddy's girl!!

I JUST HAVE TO SHARE THIS!!!!

COOPER TOOK TWO STEPS about 15 minutes ago!!
I was sitting on the floor in front of his recliner in his room and he was standing. I was trying to read him a story but I gave up and let go. I was about to get all excited and clap cause he was standing then he shuffled two steps towards the recliner. THEN I was practically jumping up and down and clapping my hands all excited. Bummed that Phil isn't here to share it with me but what can ya do!!
So I thought I would share it with you all!!
Happy Valentines Day.

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!!!

YAY!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Come out baby McLatchy!!!
no more pregnant pictures!! I love the belly though! Isn't she beautiful!!

My husband and I before the wedding

and our boy.....
was being watched by Grammy

You may kiss your bride

(gotta love Greg's grin in the background!!)

Isn't she beautiful?!!!!

The bride and her father

I now intorduce Husband and Wife

WAHOO!!!

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!

*jumping up and down!! All giggles

SQUEAL!!!

SUSAN AND TERRY ARE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!!!!

giggle..........

Crazy last 24 hours

It all started yesterday at 5am...........
Cooper woke up. decided to get up for the day. Fed and then the whining started. ALL DAY!! I think he has his 9th tooth coming through. All day I had a whiny kid that didn't know what he wanted. I didn't sleep well that night so it was harsh.
Phil wasn't home working on a diesel truck he picked up. He worked for one whole hour yesterday! WAHOO! FRIGGEN WAHOO!! I am breaking. The wall is too high and I can't throw any more bricks high enough.
So last night I was putting Cooper to bed. I was stupid and while I was bathing him I had the camera and was taking pictures and video. When my nightmare unfolded in a matter of a blink of an eye. I was looking at the screen. He wasn't there. I heard a crash. I tossed the brand new camera down. (I would do it again.) I was sitting RIGHT BESIDE THE TUB!! Reached into the water and yanked Cooper up out of it. He was fully submerged. It all happened within seconds. Didn't even think just reacted. Lifted him full up out of the tub by his ONE ARM!! (blushing). Used my left arm with the bad shoulder so today it is still killing me. I swept him against me and he was fine. He had a cut to his head and I saw blood. BLOOD!! First cut!! Caused because his mommy was playing with her camera and not watching him. Ok God lesson learned. Won't have the camera if I am by myself. I put him back in the tub so that he would not be afraid of the water. He was totally fine. Went back to playing. Me on the other hand was on the verge of tears.
So we finished his bath and went and got him dressed. Read a book then I nursed him. He took both sides fully. Then put him in his crib. He was out instantly. I checked on him a few times. Afraid of it being a concussion and him slipping into a coma or something. Although I knew it wasn't a concussion. He wasn't throwing up. He was acting totally fine.
So just after 8:30 I decided to go to bed. The last time I saw was shortly after that. I fell asleep. Had a long day. Then at 9:11pm the phone rings. Who calls at that time!! Geepers! You know my kid is in bed. That is pretty late as is wether or not I am in bed. If it is an emergency it is fine. So I had to dart out of bed, heart pounding cause I was just awoken from a dead sleep. Only to pick up the phone and no one there cause they hung up before the answering machine. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.............
So get back in bed. Get all cozy and the damn thing rings again. This time I thought to bring the phone to be with me. It was my MIL (Mother in Law) wondering where Phil was. I said, you woke me. I was sleeping. He will be there soon. (long story not getting into it) She kept going ON AND ON. Then eventually she said, ok I will let you go.
Too late. Now I am wide awake worrying about Phil. I figured he would be home by 10 anyway. But now my gut is being tested and I am worrying. 9:50 he walks through the door. I told him about Cooper and my day. He told me about his. Just before 11 when I fell BACK to sleep. GRRRRR......
4am.....Cooper woke up screaming. Phil went in there to calm him and he would have none of it. So we gave him some acetaminephin and then I nursed him. My milk must be low or something cause he gobbled it down. Then thankfully he went back to sleep. So did I. Only to wake up at 5:30 to him wanting to get up for the day. So I reluctantly got up and nursed him and changed his bum. We have been up for over a hour now. He is whining. I know he is a good baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah but still this has been tough.
I am supposed to go to moms group today but I don't think I am going to. Phil has NO WORK today. Maybe he can watch the kid all day and I will stay in bed. Oh wait he has a truck to work on and he will be at his moms.
FUN FUN FUN!!!
pictures of Cooper before the fall........



after............



if anybody actually read this thank you.

Just a wee bit stressed

but am not panicking Too too bad .................. yet.............
This week Phil has worked a total of 8 hours. As of late this morning. He missed two days last week. The guy that runs the office at his work is flying out thursday. They are closing the shop on Friday and Saturday. No work Friday or Saturday cause we have a wedding to attend. (that I don't mind ;) )
As of the 15th Phil is no longer employed with his current boss. As of the 16th we still do not yet know if they have jobs. The new owners have not talked to the guys yet. So the 15th the guys are pulling their tools out of the shop. They will head in on the 16th hoping to be employed.
Yep.......I am a wee bit stressed. I can kind of see the problems just lingering in front of my face. I know God will take care of it and their is NOTHING I can do but I am still stressed a bit. Not letting it get to me too bad. That is why I am confused that I am thinking about it now. I just wish I knew what His plans were.
My maternity leave ends in April. So does my employment with Lordco.
sigh............
think I need to go to bed............

Awesome!! Guess what

Last night Phil and I went to the movies together. We hadn't been since I was very pregnant. We rarely ever go to the movies and I tell ya it was weird being without Cooper.
We don't really have the money to spend but Phil made some extra and decided to take me to the theatre cause who knows when and if that will happen again.
What we did was meet at a friends house at 6 and then we let Cooper play. Then at 6:30 we did the bedtime routine. We put him down for bed in the playpen we keep there. He was talking away to himself and Phil and our friends went down to get some food ahead of time. I stayed a bit longer to make sure he was asleep. My friends son was going to listen for him. 7pm rolls around and Cooper is quiet, no more talking. So I went upstairs and told Joel that he sounds asleep and we were off. He said ok. I had my friends cell phone just in case and it didn't ring at all. Cooper slept soundly the whole time. We paid our "sitter" and then left. Brought Cooper home who decided to wake up on the way home. So we were dreading trying to put Cooper back to bed. But we came in and did the prayer duck (a little stuffed duck that says the Bedtime prayer when you press his foot) and put him into bed. That was it. Didn't hear a peep out of him. Then he slept until 6:15 this morning.
It was such an awesome night. Mind you nothing we could afford but it was well needed. IT WAS SO AWESOME!!

SIX MORE DAYS!!!


I am SO excited!! In six more days Susan and Terry will be united under God and in front of family, friends and community as witnesses. I am so excited for them. They are so happy together. When I see them together I see the respect, love and trust they have for one another.
God has blessed them so richely. There are many stresses right now due to a wedding but HECK who DOESN'T get stressed out planning their own wedding!
I have never been so excited about a union so perfect. God is definately a main focus, from an outsiders view, in this one. They can correct me if I am wrong but I really see it no other way.
Good Luck Susan and Terry and thank you for allowing us to be a part of this special union.

God is at work! Isn't he???

This is SO hard!!
In my heart deep, deep down I know that God is working in our lives but there is a part of me that believes, wrongly mind you, that if I don't talk about it, write about it and just plain ol' ignore it, it will go away. Now that is inaccurate thought but I still think them.
At the beginning of this week a friend of mine prayed for Phil's job. She asked that doors be closed that meant to be closed and others that are meant to be opened start opening. I thought it was a great prayer. Until the very next day.
Wednesday I came home from failing at putting in Michelle's car seats for her two babies. hehe....two!! I walked in the door and started venting about how frustrated I was to Phil. Know what he said? Here I got something that will make you feel worse. I was like what!!?? I snapped it yes but wouldn't you when you were told that??
He said that as of the 15Th of FEBRUARY, that's right....this MONTH, his job is terminated. I said WHAT?? TERMINATED??? and he explained.
His boss sold the business and APPARENTLY the new owner that takes over on the 16Th wants to keep them. But here's the kicker. They have no idea if the new owner wants to keep them or not. He has not come to the shop. He has not talked to the guys. There has been no assurance AT ALL!! So the three guys that work there are going on a bunch of apparently words. Nothing is set in stone and nothing is for sure. So the 16Th my husband is technically out of a job. The worst thing I can think of at this point. IF the guy doesn't keep them then they will all be on EI. EI only provides 65% of your wages. 65% DOES NOT cover rent. 65% will NOT cover bills. My maternity leave ends in April. Along with my medical and health benefits. Along with me ending my employment with my job. There is no point to go back to a minimum wage job and have someone else raise my son and have almost all my wages go to that. So I will be trying to daycare kids myself.
I know that deep, deep down in my heart that God has a plan. But I can't talk about it. I just put it as another brick in this comfy wall I have been building over the last few weeks. The mask is on again. It will just go away right? I think about it and I panic. My chest goes tight and my arms tingle. So don't talk to me about it. That is the attitude I have.
Phil has the faith.
I talked to a few friends. I didn't get a response I thought I would have. I was kinda taken aback. No concern on their ends. Just an it will be ok. God is moving. Yep, gee thanks....I know that but doesn't mean that I am not scared shitless (sorry to swear but that is the only word I can think of to express the fear strong enough)
I am trying to pray. But I get lost. I start to panic.
God I know that You are moving, I know that You are closing doors that need to be closed. But help me to relax. Help me to hand it all over to You. Help me to not be numb and not feel. I know that good will come out of this. Help me to be strong and see that. I know that You will provide, so help me to stop being so darn stubborn and to be encouraged that YOU are moving in our lives. Help me to lay the trust on You. Amen

I am SO EXCITED

There MAY be a baby tonight. Michelle is going in to try to get the baby turned. There is a chance that the baby could come tonight though via a C-section. You can read more on her site.
I am so excited. Something to look forward to!!
I remember 2.5 years ago I was printing off this:


Then just last Saturday I took this picture. I don't care if you don't like it Michelle! :P Could this actually be the last pregnant picture of her?? Look at that cute belly!


Could it actually be that I MAY be posting congratulations later tonight and pictures tomorrow? Something like that
BABY, BABY, BABY.............
I CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD THIS LITTLE ONE!!