Running

So, last night I went out for a run. It has been at least a year or more since I last ran. It all started last Wednesday. I was in the bath after a rough day and I just couldn't seem to relax. So I got out and told my husband that I was going to go for a run. Just like that, I did some stretches and left. Knowing full well that I would regret it. I knew that not only would my shoulder ache more than it has been but that my hip would suffer the consequenses too. I didn't care. I was breaking down and I had no where to turn. So I ran. I was so very sore, but knowing that I would still be going to physio I would be fine. I was able to run away my problems. I didn't get to go to physio, and boy do I feel it. So what did I do yesterday? Yep - went for a run. I can only take so much pain before I want to just crawl into a hole and not talk to anyone and just be in my own little world. So, instead of letting that part of me win and pitty rule who I am I started to run. I guess it is kinda like what Forrest Gump did??? Sure it doesn't make sense. I am in pain - so lets put myself through more to jsut get my mind off of it?? I know I am crazy. Unless my physiotherapist tells me that I probably shouldn't be running I may keep doing it. I try to pin my arm against me when it gets too sore. It is better for me to just get up and run rather than breaking down in tears and wanting to throw things and get frustrated.
When I run it is just me, my music and God. Sure there are cars passing by but I don't care. I am one on one with God.
Last night I left the house about 7:30 and to my shock when I stepped out the doors it was snowing. I love the snow so I was in my element. It was so darn cold but beautiful. I started to run. The snow stung my eyes and numbed my face but I didn't care. It took me 37 minutes to do my run. I thought that it wasn' too bad considering that it was only my second time out in a year or so. I have to figure out how long of a run it was distance wise but I am thinking that it is maybe a little over 5Kms. I could barely put pressure on my hip and it hurt to walk today but keep it moving and it will be fine. The shoulder is another story. Don't want to move it at all and everytime I do move it, because if I don't it could get worse or even lock up, it hurts pretty darn good. My arm goes numb as well. I know, I should be used to it by now, (it has been about 6 months or so since my accident) but it is so hard to accept that I may have this for a long time just because someone didn't look over their shoulder when they were backing up. Oh well what can you do?
Anyway........ The snow was great and it made everything seem so much more quiet and peaceful. It even made me feel that much closer to God. It almost feels like everytime I go for this agonizing, but needed, run I get that much closer to God and I really start to understand a little more each time that things will all happen in His timing and that it will all work out. Maybe, just maybe He has a reason why my injury is taking so long to heal. Patience is a vertue (sp?) right?