A little personal here

Today feels like a weird day for me. Haven't felt this way in a long time. Woke up this morning and did not want to get out of bed. Later this morning I crawled back in and then forced myself up again.
There have been so many things on my mind lately. So many things that I can't seem to handle on my own yet I don't want to talk about it. Things I have been trying so hard to deal with.
Last night I went to work and I felt like I didn't belong there. I would like to go to school but it won't happen. That is a money thing. My car keeps yelling at me on a daily basis. Stop the dinging!!
It's all good. I will pull through. I have to. I have to be the strong one, be the rock in so many situations. Yet I feel like I just can't do it. God is the rock I need and I need to show that in many other areas too.
So many questions about God, Jesus and related stuff. I feel like I am being pulled in so many directions and I just can't stretch that way. I am not Elasta Girl.
I know, I know..... here I sit whining and complaining. Just at a loss of what to do. Hand it over to God, I know. I try but something is pulling at me saying that He can't take care of it right now and He can't show me the answers that I need. So is that Satan? I really hate him. I just wish that satan would leave us all alone so we can all be in God. I know it's not that easy. We have conflict and confussion for a reason. It helps to bring us closer to God. But what do you do when you feel so flustered and can't get things straight? I reach out to people then when I do I feel like I am being a burden on so many levels. I know that it's not true but the insecurities like to toy with us. I reach for God and I feel like He is guiding me. Guiding me to talk things out and with others.
Ah.... It's all good. Just rambling. Probably to delete this later. Not wanting to post it but feeling like it is a way to get it out.
Lord come to me. Hold me.
I am going back to bed.......