"Word of God Speak"

"I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing is that I need to be heard
But to hear what You would say.

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain..."
Big Daddy Weave


Heard this song on the way home today. Sad thing is that I wish it was okay. I wish that I felt it was fine that I am at a loss for words. I just don't know what to say. I have found myself wanting to bow down to Him and beg Him to help me understand.
Axiety has been grasping at me and pulling me so tight and holding me there that I am scared. I am sick to my stomach, dizzy and feel so lost.
I have noticed lately how many things are really out of my control. Being the control freak that I am, I find it hard to deal with. I want to reach out and just make things better but it isn't that simple. More and more lately I have felt that things were so far out of my reach and control that it isn't even funny. I want to fix situations, help people and solve the problems that make my heart ache. Yet I can't seem to do anything. It is not in my hands. The only thing that I can do is be there, provide my love and my support but it just doesn't seem like enough sometimes. If I could just heal and stop the pain, but that is not my area. That is in God's control. I think that I have let myself finally listen to God and what He is saying to me. He tells me that it is okay and that things are in His hands and that He is using me to spread His love. That is a pretty big honor in itself, which I feel so blessed to be apart of.
I start to think that it may not be for me to understand or comprehend but to just support and share my love and accept the love of others. When I deliver that love and accept that love I feel God's arms wrapped around me. I feel myself pulled into His safety then I find that I hope that it is what people feel like when I hug them. That they feel the warmth and the safety.
Letting the word of God speak is easy to do but so hard to hear and just relax and accept that He knows what we need right now. That we need His love. We need to accept His word.
"In the time of trouble He shall hide me." Ps. 27:5 When it is over He will bring me out.

I will send you into those lives in which I have hidden people. You are sent with my love and are there to provide that love.

That is what I feel like God is saying. Thank you God for such a wonderful gift of support.