Giving it up

And handing it over are two things that I have really been trying to do. To just leave it in God's hands. I don't know what it is with those two things that I find so hard to do.
I thought that with each situation I would have to do it just once. Once when it came up and that would be final. I have found that to be false. Well in my world anyway.
These things keep coming up over and over. I find myself thinking about it. Tossing and turning. Should have done this. Shouldn't have done that. If only this and if only that. You know it is true, hindsight is really 20/20.
So I have found myself giving over the same situation many times. Many times trying to pass it over to God. There really is nothing I can do to fix any of it. It is not in my control and I think that is what bothers me the most and makes it so hard. Every time it comes up I now try to stop and tell God, "I know I am asking again but please take this worry, this hurt and this stress from me." Man He must be getting tired of hearing from me by now.
The stupid thing is that I hope that others can help me to come up with answers. When in actuality it is not their problem. It is mine and I can really only expect God to come up with the answers that I need. Then I need to trust that I have given it to Him and it is in His hands and there is no safer place for it to be.
When I hurt I run to people. Have tried to do that all my life. Most of the time though they can't do anything for me. But I still run to them. In the midst of taking that first step I need to stop and turn to God. It is a lot tougher for me to do then I ever thought. I need to do it over and over again until I get it right. One day that will happen. I am just glad that He won't give up on me in the process.
So as I lay wide awake yet again this morning with the worry going through my head I turned to God. (then I came and did a blog). I asked Him if He is getting tired of me handing the same thing to Him over and over again. I got a "of course not." I guess that if I need to give it to Him time and time again I will. Until I can trust fully deep within my heart that He has a safe hold on it. I can say that I trust He's got it all but then would I still worry? I guess that is the human part of me. I am a worrier. But like I have heard before: "worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you no where." So true. Tired of rocking back and forth. So here I sit giving it over yet again. Afraid still that He might get mad. That He will get tired of hearing it. But the more I think about it the more I am starting to realize that He isn't like my Earthly parents. He is slow to anger. Quick to love. That I am grateful for.