Being Watched

Last night during my restlessness I was remembering some of my childhood. I remembered the feeling of being watched growing up. Not just by parents but by someone unseen to my human eye. I never grew up in a Christian home. My mom didn't agree with religion I guess. She didn't like it when we talked about going to church with one of the kids she babysat. Wasn't sure about the idea.
Funny thing is that even though I did not become a Christian until my late teens, early twenties, I grew up always feeling like I was being watched. I even referred to a God that I didn't know existed.
I remember at one point when I was younger I had this sense come over me that I was being watched all the time. To the point that I thought I needed to get changed in my closet so that what ever was watching me didn't see me change. Funny hey? I remember when it rained I thought God was crying or watering His garden. When it snowed I thought He was sweeping His home in the clouds. When it was sunny He was just purely happy. When it was dark and the moon was shining He had a light on. Sounds pretty pathetic hey? I thought angels came down to Earth on the sunbeams that I watched dance through the clouds.
I guess you could say that I had a vivid imagination as a child. Now I see it as the fact that I knew God was there. Even though I didn't know who He was. I believed someone else was watching over me and I knew nothing of the gospel or of the Savior that was sent to die for us. But my childish heart believed.
Made me see that He really was there all my life. Even though it was forced to not be thought of He was there. Even though any of my questions were ignored He stayed by my side. Even though I wasn't aloud to go to church I found Him in my own ways. Found the Father that I didn't even know existed. Lost Him for a while. He was still there but no longer was I. I was too busy. Came to Him again when I was older and while lying in my bed last night talking to Him, with my husband practically in a comma beside me, I was given the reminder that in my heart I knew that He was there.
In my heart I knew I was being watched by Him and protected. That gave me such a peaceful feeling. Opened my eyes to the fact that He was always pursuing me even when I pushed Him away and that He will still find me. Gave me a warm feeling that this same God that I knew was there when I was small was watching over us now and will be the one that my child believes in. That my child knows who it is that is watching over them. What an awesome feeling to know that when I can't be there someone else is that is able to watch and protect every step of the way. Thankful that I am being watched.