Those Desert Places

We all have them. We have all been through them. Right now you might be like me and feel smack dab right in the center of them.
Looking around me I see nothing. No shade, maybe that is a little tree off in the distance. The ground is parched and dry. Cracked all around me like it is ready to open up and swallow me whole. Maybe that is a creek I am hearing. A vast sky all around with the light beating down. Could that be a cloud? I sense the little moments of hope. I know they are there but sometimes it is just so hard not to get wrapped up in the dry land. The wasted land. The hopeless feeling that comes with the lost.
I stand in the center looking around trying to find my way out. I get frustrated and in my eyes I see no way out in this near future. So I stand crying. The tears fall from my face and get sucked immediately into the ground. Pulled into the land that is thirsting for so much more. I thirst for so much more. I know that only Jesus can fill me fully. So I continue to look. Then I see Him. Like a tear streaked, snotty nosed, puffy faced child I reach up for Him. Daddy pick me up. Hold me. He does.
I look into His face and I sob for Him to just carry me right out of there at that exact moment. That I have had enough and I want it over.
I feel Him tell me, it is not time my child.

WHEN WILL IT BE! I sob.

Patient little one; only I know what I have in store for you right now and trust me that it will be ok and this will all work out.

I get agitated now. It won't work out. This is nuts. This hurts so much and I am tired.

I know child, I know. It hurts me to see you this way. I need you here at this moment in time. You need to understand that this too will pass. That this desert we are walking through will end and on the other side is exactly what I want for you.

I look back and I can see that we have taken some steps. Together. Little ones. Just keep going I think to myself. Just keep going. I can't do it on my own.
I let my Father hold me as I lay my head upon His shoulder. I tell Him that I am angry and confused as to why I have to go through this. I am sorry that I am mad and forgive me.

It is ok that you are mad. I understand your thoughts and your fears. I have been there too. Just know that you need to call to me and I will come running. I am right here. Never to leave. I send my angels to lift you up on their wings to guide you through. This too will end. It may not feel like it right now but trust me it will. You are not alone. You never will be.

I want to trust you so bad. Help me to open to the light you shine on me. Thank you that you are there.

We continue on together. He still holds me in His arms like it requires no effort at all. Like I am as light as a feather. I calm and the tears stop. Knowing that they may fall again I keep my head against Him. In the safety of His arms I look around. I can see the hope. I can feel the hope. I WILL have the faith. I may not see the end right now but the thing is that the One that is holding me so close to His heart knows that it is coming. That this desert will become a thing of my past. One that makes me stronger and continues to bring me close to Him. I will again walk through the green pastures. I shut my eyes and know that deep, deep down it will be ok. I start to drift off knowing that I am safe. Feeling His breath upon my hair and His arms so tightly around me. Being careful to hold to that Faith. To hold to that Hope. To hold to Him.
The desert sucks. It can feel so lonely. It is where I need to be and I need to be ok with that. Although that too seems like a struggle in itself, I think I almost am.