Grace

To be honest I am not sure I am getting the full meaning of this word. I however can tell you what went through my head at last Sunday's service.
Pastor Susan was talking about Grace. How Christmas was over and done with but she walked out to her living room and saw a present under the tree. She went over to it and looked at the tag. The tag said
"To Susan
Love: God your Father."
She went on to say....."Hmmm...that's intreging let's see what is in it."
Upon opening the gift she saw a note. She picked up that piece of paper and it read:
"To my precious child. I am giving you the gift of my grace. My grace will cover all your sins, everything that has happened in your past. It is sufficient to cover everything you will face in the future. My grace will sustain you. Its a gift for you, its free. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything but just accept it. Even though you may not feel worthy to accept this gift – I am giving it you anyway. I love you."

You know what? While she was talking and reading about this my life was going through my head. A few years ago I was in a really tight spot. A black hole. A place I didn't think I would ever emerge from. And to be honest with you: I wanted to go Home. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go and be with my Father in Heaven. But God saw it another way. He brought pastor Susan into my life. He brought a lot of great ladies into my life. I began to realize and see that I was loved. I was wanted and God had better plans for me. That through His Grace this healing journey was begun.
As I sit here writing I feel a tug at my pant legs. I look down and a beautiful little boy smiles back up at me. No cares in the world. Just letting me know that he loves me. I smile back at him and he gets down and goes to play. Thanks Cooper. If I had gone through what I wanted to do back then I would not have my own little angel on Earth. I would have missed out on this wonderful blessing and opportunity. I would have let down my husband. My family. My friends. My Father. I am so thankful for His extended hand of Grace. He graciously reached for me and brought me to the place that He needed me to be.
Just this past year has been EXTREMELY rough. I am not going to get into it cause I feel that what I listed above was enough being real for now. BUT......I know that it is only because of God's grace that we have pulled through those spots and it is only by His grace that we are pulling through them now.
I remember someone once asked me how I knew it was God. I said I just do. No one else knows what I need and then we get the gifts that were given to us at just the right time. How the heck else can you explain it? It had to be God. There was no booming voice. There was no hellelujah moment. There was just all of a sudden what we needed at the time. Battling with this person I had to back away from the conversation cause I seriously felt like it was a spiritual battle. I couldn't put it into words. I couldn't explain it any other way but, It had to be God.
The things we received when we did had no better timing. No one else knew. We were silently going through it step by step but God saw it all. He provided too. With Phil working less hours once again I find that I am really not TOO stressed this time around. God provided last time so I just need to have the Fatih that he will provide for us again. That time and time again His never ending Grace will pull us through. I have to believe. I was there before. I was here before. I am here. He did it once I know He will keep doing it time and time again cause we are His. He loves us and He provides for us.
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, family that loves me and a Father that lifts us up and holds us tight. A Father that knows what we need when we need it. A Father that will be ever so gracious expecting nothing in return.
"is sufficient to cover everything you will face in the future. My grace will sustain you. Its a gift for you, its free. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything but just accept it. Even though you may not feel worthy to accept this gift – I am giving it you anyway. I love you."
Wow. He loves me even though I don't think I deserve it. He thinks and knows that I am worthy. I open the gift with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. Thank you Father for your Grace. That even though I am not worthy You give it to me with open arms.
What an awesome gift. I am thankful that I accepted it. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if I turned my back on that present and just walked away. Leaving it to never be opened. I love where my life is. I love being a child of God. I love being a wife, a mother, a friend. There is no where else I would rather be. No matter how tight or hard things are getting. I wouldn't trade any of this gift for the world.
Thank you Lord. I love You. Thank you for loving me.