Feeling lonely

But I know it must be my own fault. I feel like I don't have many people around me. I am at home all the time. I feel alone.

The newest thing I have been doing lately is just hanging out with God. It is great. When the boys (my son and my daycare boy) nap I lay on my stomach in front of the fireplace and just read my bible. Read a book and just hang out with God.

Just He and me in front of the fireplace. I really have started to enjoy this time with Him. To look forward to the quiet, to His voice and His love wrapping around me. I have been learning a bunch of things. Been learning how to make and keep boundaries. Learning why I am the way I am. Learning that sometimes I need to just wait my turn to dance.

Reading a book called "When Wallflowers Dance" by Angela Thomas. I am sure I have shared on it before. Came across a few interesting things today.

"Prayer is the means by which we continually place ourselves into God's arms. When you meet a woman who is full of joy and confidence no matter what her circumstances, you have most likely encountered a woman of prayer." p. 99

"Prayer is the discipline by which God gives us the ability to wait. To persevere. To dream again. To trust." p. 100

"Whatever battle you face today, remember that it cannot have you. You belong to GOD." p. 101 (emphasis mine)

I am learning a lot about this. Learning to just trust God. Learning to be able to dream and to pray. To just talk to God. Just to let it all go and give it over to Him. So really I should be leaning on Him. I shouldn't feel lonely but I do. Some days it is more then others. But it is ok. God has a plan for my life and right now it may just mean being lonely. It may mean waiting.

It is hard to let go of the lonely feeling but I know God is right here, pulling me through.