A realization

you know, I realize that I am extremely blessed. I have a home and am not worried about where my loved ones are. I am thankful for the health insurance we have here.

We are having issues trying to conceive our second child. We have had three losses and a few months of nothing. My body seems to be going haywire with things. It just doesn't seem to like what is going on.
Yet I am going to try my hardest to be thankful because I know I am blessed. My three and a half year old is a great example of it. Sure he can be a pain but I love him. I realize more and more each day what a blessing and what a gift he is.
God made His presence known to me the day I gave birth to Cooper. Went in to the hospital and it was raining REALLY hard. I push and Cooper came out and in that exact moment the sun came through the smaller windows and flooded the room.

I am so thankful for my life. For a husband that loves me. To have a husband. To have computers, a passion for photography. Learning that God loves me and is the great Father I have ever needed. My earthly fathers are no where near as loving and faithful and gracious or merciful.


For some reason just sitting here today, cleaning my son's room I just realize that I am so blessed. I am free to dance and worship in church. I am free to sing. I am in love with my son and husband. Even MORE in love with Jesus. I am so grateful and blessed. I don't want to change anything in my life. I have been hospitalized due to a breakdown. But I am thankful for that. Because one day I will realize why it happened. I can't get pregnant right now but one day I will see what God's plan is. I hold my son a little tighter. I have people in my life that care. I have doctors that give a crap and sometimes that is a rarity in and of itself! I have a church that helps me out even though we were new to the church. I have a counsellor that puts up with me and cares for me.
I have all I ever need. I need to remember that. I am so blessed and it is a freeing realization.