Reflecting

It is now August and today I found myself reflecting on some moments that had happened this year. I got a weekly verse this morning. It read, "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." Dt. 31:8
I remembered reading this somewhere before and looking back in my book of verses and promises I saw it. Right there, read for the first time in February. During a moment in my life that I felt I was so alone and that no one cared. It made sense. It started to sink in. Today it seems to ring even more truth in it.
So I reflected on what has happened so far this year. The anger that I felt. The disappointment and the loneliness. Afraid of bearing my soul. Losing who I am and losing the ability to reach to God. Then finding it and feeling like I could fly. Dealing with hurts that I have had since a child that I thought I had succeeded at locking so deep within my heart that it would never come up again. Only to have God to open those doors again. To push, sometimes ever so gently, on the ones that I tried to nail shut over the years. Thinking that it was all done and over with. Only to have Him tell me to trust Him and we started working on it together and are still working. Some days are better then others.
The moments and the tears that have brought me to this point in my life. The embraces, the love and the prayers that helped me to believe that I was loved. Of course at that particular moment in time I didn't feel it but it happened. I have an awesome husband that stood by me every step. Had friends and gained friends that helped along the way as well.
Reflecting back on these last few months has made me feel both sad and happy. Sad that it took a turn of events like I went through for me to believe and for my eyes to be opened. I look at my life today. A baby on the way. A husband that bends over backwards for me and friends that hold me close just to cry. Sitting here just thinking of these moments makes me tear up. Makes my heart beat a little harder. I have had many ups and downs like most people and sometimes it consisted of more downs then ups. During the up moments I felt so free. Learned to hate the down moments and do something about them. Finding God and wanting to stand on the top of the tallest mountain and just yell it out to the world.
So reflecting on this time it goes to show me that God really does have plans for me and has put me on this earth for a reason. A reason I may never know but His reasoning all the same.
I am sure that for the rest of my life I will remember all the journeys that I have been on but this particular one at this point in time seems to just bring me to my knees in utter amazement over God. That He never gave up on me when I gave up on myself. That He sent people into my life to hold me and to love me when I thought that I didn't need it. But He knew. The battles continue, they always will but just remembering the path that I have been on gives me hope and faith that I can get through anything. Any of us can.
Thank God.