"Your Name is safe"

This was the title of this mornings Our Daily Bread. For some reason this particular daily bread has struck me. Yeah, I get that a lot.

"There's an old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." It isn't true. Words can hurt us most of all. "

This is how the daily bread starts. If you were like me you probably said that little saying over and over in your head. In your heart and once in a while out loud to the "perpetrator". I had grown up saying that over and over. That no matter what their opinion of me didn't matter. While the insults flew, sometimes along with ice balls, and the snickers were heard. It is not until my later years as an adult where I have realized that it wasn't true. All those name calls, those insults, those laughs behind my back hurt. I cried when they were said only to be laughed at and teased more. I believed them. Idiot. I believed it. Stupid. Yep there is another one. I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I guess I am just writing this all out to acknowledge it myself.
To this day I will call myself names. Drives my husband nuts. I can't help it. It is a habit I had formed to protect myself. If I say it first then they don't have the chance to hurt me when they say it. Now that is a habit that sometimes I find way too hard to break. You know what, it hurts even when I say it. No matter your age, no matter what is said it always hurts when those words break our bones. They do.
I know, don't listen to them. They don't know you. What do you do though when that person is yourself. What do you do when you hear someone at work run you down and even though you try to be brave and let it roll it hurts you in your heart. We are all grown ups here. Yet a lot of us act like we are two. "I'm going to laugh at you right in front of your face just to watch you squirm. That is the fun part." Somehow those people always know the exact buttons to push.
I know what buttons to push in myself. Maybe if I keep pushing them then one day they would just wear out? Doesn't seem to be the case. It just hurts those that love me. It hurts them to see and hear me run myself down. How do you get rid of those old tapes? The ones that play over and over telling you that you are no good. That you are worthless even though the people that love you the dearest would never say those things to you.
I guess I am just ranting and rambling on here. However, the daily bread really made me think. My favorite part was the end.

"As a little child once put it, "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. Your name is safe in their mouth."
You and your name are safe with God. - David Roper "

I just think that is the most awesome thing ever. That my name comes out of the lips of people who love me differently. Dripping with compassion, caring and love. That my name is safe. How much cooler is it even that in God my name is safe. That I am safe. You are safe. It is the love that we need to listen to, not the cold heartless whispers and sneers from those that think they are better then you and feel that they have the right to make fun when they don't. I know the truth deep down in my heart but it is so hard to get rid of that tape that plays over and over. I guess it is time to write over that tape with the words of love that are shared with me. With God's help I will be able to. God gives me these wonderful people in my life and I thank Him for them every day. The ones who in the end would do anything for you. That love you no matter how little you make, if anything at all. No matter what you look like in the morning, or how big you get during the pregnancy!! Ones that love you for who God had created you to be. Ones that love you for you. The good, the bad and the ugly. I am glad that there are some my name is safe with.