In God's arms

The other night I was having on of my usual "moments". Still don't know if it is the extra hormones that surge through my body at any given moment or if it was a time for me to just reflect. Haven't let myself just cry. You know just sit and cry when I feel like it all just needs to come out. Being the stubborn person I am I always held it in.
Lately it is like it has been harder to hold that in. So I climbed into bed and lay there by myself. Caught myself spending time with God. I wasn't alone.
My tears soaking the pillow. Curled into a ball with the covers pulled to my chin. It was actually a very real and relaxing moment for me. My imagination and my heart took off. All of a sudden I envisioned myself in His arms. My head was laying against His chest. My tears soaking His robe. The blanket was his arms that pulled the robe around me to protect me and keep me safe. Felt the strength in His embrace. Almost like He was running His hands through my hair calming me. Whispering, "it's ok My child. That's right, let me hold you. Let it go."
I immediately wanted to stop. Didn't want to cry against His chest. Didn't want to show my vulnerability. He knew. He held me tighter. He told me that He knows my vulnerability. He created me. His chest was there for me to cry against. That He was there for me to just collapse and feel totally safe in His arms. You know what? That was the first night in a long time that I actually slept all the way through. Woke up in a good mood. Totally conscience of His presence. What a gift He gave me that night.
I have been learning to engulf those gifts He gives me. Either it be crying in His arms and feeling His presence. Feeling the love of community and family. Feeling the joy or pain of that same family.
I am a very emotional and protective person. To some it may be annoying but that is my way. Those closest to me know that it can't be changed. I believe that is a gift from God. A gift designed out the specific way He wants it to be. When someone hurts I hurt. When they are happy I share in the joy. I now embrace it wholeheartedly. I used to think I was just nuts but now I believe that I am meant to feel it so I can relate. To be the support someone needs or to know how the person feels. To know when to just jump in and not accept no for an answer or to just sit and listen. To know when to hold people or when to let them go. Some I haven't let go. Must hang on. But I feel it is time. I will protect any of my friends to the end of the Earth. I will walk on the outside so the cars hit me before they hit them. I will stand up for them in a heartbeat. No questions asked. You hurt my friend you hurt me. That is just the way I am.
The more I learn to embrace it the more I understand. I am not saying I am like God but is that not what He does? Protects His children. Jesus puts Himself on the cross to fight for us before we are even born. A perfect follower of God gives up His life so that we can have life in Him. Holding us and letting us cry. Lifting us onto His shoulders and dancing with us. Embracing us. Going through the cess pool every step of the way. Fighting for us.
If we are truly the body of Christ then we need to be just like God's arms. We need to embrace. To love. How much better would it be just to be in His arms all the time?