I can do this......no I can't.....

I have been very excited lately learning more and more about God. Worshiping, reading and writing. I have been trying really hard to become better, to heal past hurts and lies.
I was talking to a friend of mine last night and they said:
"You can’t change yourself, only He can. You can’t heal yourself, only He can."

of course I never thought of that! No matter how hard I try, no matter how many sermons I go to, no matter how much I read I cannot change myself or heal myself. Only God has the strength to do so. Only HE can make me be a new person in Christ.

Sure I have to do my part. I have to read scripture and worship etc but I won't be able to MAKE the change. Only the Master Surgeon can do that. Only He has the right tools to do the delicate work. To open my chest and expose my heart yet know how to keep it safe while delicately working His fingers effortlessly, smoothly, kindly and with great know how.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to do enough. I can't do any of this without the help of God. I can't do it without Him. By filling my heart, soul and mind with His word, His love and His truth I am telling Him that I am ready. I am ready to heal, to grow and to learn. I am ready to trust.

I have a hard time trusting because people have hurt me. PEOPLE have hurt me. NOT God. He will never hurt me. I may be taken through tough times but I am not alone, He is there leading me through. Telling me that I will be ok and to trust Him. That He will NEVER EVER leave me. He is my life. He is YOUR LIFE.

God really is good. Can you imagine, giving up YOUR one and only son? Giving him up so you can save the world. A world that ignores you, hurts you, sins, lies, steals and chooses to walk away from you. HE can choose to make us love Him. Yet He doesn't. He has given us free will. We are able to choose to accept Him. We are able to choose to dance with Him. To let Him do the healing, the growing and the living. He "let" Jesus die on that cross because He loves us. I even have a hard time imaging that He loves my son more then I love my son. That is a lot. I think about having to sacrifice my son and I wouldn't be able to do it. Yet God did it! How Good is a God like THAT!

I am sure I make no sense but the point is that I can't do this myself. My friend was right. Only God can do this for me. So I excitedly open up my heart, raise my hands to worship, and dance in His light. In God's timing I will heal and grow more. In God's time not my own. I can't do this but HE can.

Thank you God that you are such a faithful, loving, great God. Thank you that I can't do this on my own. That you are the Great Surgeon and that You can do this. You are so great, so good, so loving and so faithful. You amaze me. Thank you!