Emotions

I will be the first to admit that these have been particularly out of control for me. For some reason they have been more intense then ever for the last two weeks or so.
I have had days where I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to talk on the phone or even go out of the house. I find it interesting, almost amusing, that I am no longer able to just hide. I think God won't let me anymore, no matter how hard I try. I know that if I don't answer the phone then, depending on who it is, the person will keep calling. I think being this close to the end of the pregnancy heightens that as well. So I would hesitantly answer the phone.
Yesterday was one of those days. I have found myself disappointed with myself and frustrated. Confused and scared are common as well. The joys of pregnancy. The phone rang. Looked at the call display and I knew I had to answer it or else this friend would have kept calling or assumed that I was at the hospital. Most of the day I worked kinda like a machine. Not wanting to talk online. Not wanting to answer the phone and laying in bed resting a bit. Each time someone would call I would answer. Each time I would be honest with the person on the other end. If I didn't want to talk about something they knew it. By the end of the day I was still in my own little world but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Went to the final prenatal class. It felt good to get out. To surround myself with people. It was what I needed. God knows when I need people and when I need to just be. He takes care of that and for that I am thankful. I am thankful for those people he has put into my life.
Today feels wonderful. Even though I didn't get much sleep I feel happy and energetic. Did the usual routine. Made Phil's lunch and breakfast. Got a load of laundry ready to do, put clean laundry away, did the dishes and am about to start that load of laundry. I may burn out but it feels good to feel so happy. It feels good knowing that no matter the mood I am in I have support and people who love me. It feels good knowing that God knows my moods and He knows what to do to help me through them.
I have a doctors appointment today. Not going to let myself get discouraged. This LB will come when he is ready. I can only do the best that I can and hopefully that will be good enough.