Monday, July 27, 2009

it just takes one thought

Why is it that it takes just ONE thought to spiral you? ONE negative thought to get you in to the direction that you are not good enough, you will never heal, you are fat, you are ugly and it just keeps going down, down, down.

thankfully this morning I was able to recognise the thought by the time it hit the second negative one. I pushed it down and told myself NO. I worked hard to build it back up and to get it working to the point where I wasn't beating myself up. It was hard.

It started with not wanting to go to group today. Then the thought of not ever being able to heal, then how I am not worthy enough to talk to anyone because I am a bother. So I guess that was three thoughts. It just kept trying to go down. I could physically feel my mood spiraling. Spiraling down into the darkness.

It just takes one thought to get you going down and knock you down but it takes many positive thoughts to keep you afloat. Your old thought patterns are easier to cling to. They are easy for the enemy to push his finger on and keep you where he wants you.

Yet the place where Jesus wants you is so much clearer. Pleasant and loving.

it just takes one. But it is worth the 20 positive thoughts to keep you grounded. Sometimes it is just SO hard.

2 comments:

Julia said...

It is worth it..keep your head up and keep pushing forward!

Nicole said...

Let's see, I think it takes 10 positive thoughts to every negative one:
You are a good friend, you are caring, you are genuine, you feel whole-heartedly, you are precise, you are compassionate, you are determined, you love those around you, you're family oriented, and you are passionate about the important things in your life.

And if you weren't all of those, you'd have let those thoughts spiral further and further down. You are human, and its so hard to think positively, because there is so much negativity in the world (don't watch the news except for traffic and weather). But just keep squelching those negative thoughts and tell Satan to take a long hike off a short bridge.