Thursday, December 28, 2006


was good.
Cooper was spoiled. The morning of Christmas I was feeding Cooper in his room and just looking down at him in the soft glow of light that comes through his window. I just stared. I watched him. I talked to him about Jesus. I thanked God for His Son and I thanked him for mine. Then we went out and played.
We let Daddy sleep. This is one of the few years that Cooper doesn't understand opening gifts so there was no pressure to wake up Daddy. Cooper and I opened the last box in the kid friendly nativity scene that I bought for him from house of James. It is called "What God wants for Christmas". It is actually really neat. Can't tell you what is in box #7 cause it would ruin the surprise.
Then the "fun" started. He wasn't really interested in the gifts or opening them. Doesn't get that part yet. Then after lunch we went to Great Grandma's house and had some turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce. I love that part of Christmas. I must say it is my favorite part. Sitting down to a nice turkey meal. We went to my moms and I was so disappointed. She got this turkey loaf thing from M&M Meat's. Everyone liked it. It wasn't bad but to me it wasn't tradition. Didn't taste like turkey to me, it had stuffing rolled in the middle. The cranberry sauce was orange flavored. There was nothing there for me to really drink besides water. I don't drink wine and pop. She had no milk. I was so bummed. It was like it was all gone now. No more tradition. When I get a house one day I am going to do the tradition. Big turkey dinner with gravy, mashed potatoes (her's were dill flavored or something), veggies and normal cranberry sauce. I know I sound pitiful and pathetic but still. I wanted the turkey! I looked forward to that!!
Cooper got spoiled as usual. Here he is. Mom, open it this way! Here I will help you!!

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Earlier in the day at Great Grandmas he just totally zonked out...(the mark on his cheek is from falling into the handle on the computer chair. I am sure there are many more injuries to come as he is trying to walk)

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Daddy had been home all weekend and went back to work on Wednesday. We are missing him!! Cooper had a fever last night of 100.7 . I am sure that it doesn't sound high to you all but when he is right hot and you can feel the heat from like 4 inches from him it is worrisome (don't mind me in my jammies here. Definately look terrible and not at my best)But we put a cloth on the back of his neck and on his head and that seemed to help a bit. But he was up a lot last night.

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It's so hard when they are this little and can't tell you what is wrong. He is whiney today and won't let me take the soother away. But he is playing so what is one day with the soother. I will "let" it.
All in all this holiday was nice. It felt like Christmas. We think having Cooper is what made it feel more like Christmas then any other year. Phil spoiled me with a new camera. I LOVE IT!! Except my computer is the next one that needs fixing. LOL!!
Oh well, I guess this is just a lot of mummble jumble but also an update. Haven't really blogged much lately. Anyway....hope everyone had a blessed Christmas.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Monday, December 25, 2006


from the Wishart family

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May the joy of the season find many blessings for you all. May the rememberance of the birth of Christ find a way into your heart and give you peace as it did me. This morning sitting there looking at me little boy and telling him what today was (yes, I do know that he does not yet understand) I felt my heart grow bigger, warmer and fuller.
Thank you God for Your Son

Saturday, December 23, 2006


So today we were in Walmart. I was sitting with Cooper on my lap at the end of one of the shoe aisles and Phil was about 10 feet away trying on new steel toe shoes. Then out of no where Cooper said, "Hi Dad". Clear as day. Phil said, did he just say hi dad? I said, I think he did. There was a lady shopping near me and she said, OH YEAH! He definately said Hi Dad.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


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I always love it when I see this nativity scene go up. I think OH!! It's almost Christmas! I love how in a world where it is no longer "politically correct" to say Merry Christmas and you now should be saying Happy Holidays, one business is not afraid to show what it is really about. One business goes out of their way to make sure that this scene is up so they can show everyone that drives past this busy intersection what it is all about. See that little baby there? That is what it is all about.
Many, many years ago God gave us a gift of His one and only Son. This gift in turn grew and shed His blood on the cross.
I am really struggling with wether or not we "do santa" around this house. How do I explain why there is gifts? Well, God gave us a gift and the Wise men gave Jesus a gift. That could be the start. We are celebrating His birth. Our Savior. But it is harder and harder not to lean towards santa. He is everywhere. Then how do I explain stockings? This is a real struggle for me. It may seem petty and dumb to some of you reading this but it is real for me. I don't want it about the presents.
Thankfully I don't have to worry about it too much this year. Then what do I do when the Grandparents write something is from Santa? I just am not sure. Do I ask them not to? That would be hard too.
Anyway.....back to my point. I love seeing this nativity scene. I absolutely love it. It makes me happy and glow. Makes me all warm inside. It reminds me. It makes me happy that someone is willing to step away from the politically correct and go with the Truth. The way we know it and we believe. Thank God there are people willing to do so. I love it. I smile every time. Stuck at that red light I find myself gazing at it. Picturing what it would have been like. Words can't even describe it.


Saturday, December 16, 2006


That is a word that makes my skin crawl. It always has. I know that there are a few of you out there that saw that title and put up a wall and didn't want to read any further. I am one of those people. Cancer scares the crap out of me. I am a selfish person when I hear that someone has cancer cause I GET SCARED!! It's not about me. What about the person who has cancer? I bet they are scared out of their minds. I put up a wall. I decide that I can't and won't talk about it but there is a part of me that wants to reach out and be with those people. To help pray and be there. But I can't do it. The only thing I can do is pray.
I lost a friend to cancer 8 years ago. It took me 7 to finally accept and allow myself to slowly go through the grieving process. I know, this must sound pretty darn pathetic and selfish. I just couldn't do it. Everytime I thought about it I would remember his last breath. I would remember him looking at me. Every time. It never gets easier. His parents amaze me. They are so strong. I know that he is healed and in Heaven but I still have regrets and fears.
A friend of mine has cancer. They are very brave. They asked for God's strength. Not for a devine intervention to occur but for His strength. For His will to be done. Wow. I would be begging God to take it away. Stop it in it's tracks and I would be begging people to pray the same. This person is so unbelievable. SO strong and I can really learn a lot from them. They have total faith and trust in God and it blows me away. Yet here I am being pathetic and scared. I want to be there for them but don't want to have to go through it again. But God gave us friends to support us. This friend has a huge faith in God. Has trust in Him. Amazing. Even in the darkness of their life they still have the total reliance on Him. For His will to be done.
I am sorry that I am selfish and I put up a wall. I just do that. The wall helps me to not think about it. To not remember the pain and hurt. But that is wrong of me. I am not the only one that was hurt from his passing. So many people were.
I just wish that I could have the strength and faith in God that this friend has. I can really learn a lot from them. I pray for them and hold them up in faith but it just feels like I can never meassure up to theirs.
I always believe that Cancer is an evil. I always will. I would never EVER wish it on my worst enemy. Yet those I love and care about get struck down with it. Yet they get back up and continue going. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. I pray for healing. I pray for His will to be done but He knows that secretly I just want it to all go away. My friend, you are in my prayers and you amaze me. You are a good example and I thank you. I am sorry that I am so selfish. Forgive me. You are so strong and an inspiration.

Friday, December 15, 2006

This is pissing me off!!

Sorry for the words but it is. I guess I have no other choice then to switch to stupid beta blogger. I PERSONALLY do not like it. I am now not able to comment on any of my friends blogs. GRRRRR...........
I don't need people to tell me how great it is cause I don't like it. With the limited experience I have had I didn't like it. I am not one for change either. I like it the way it is!! I don't want to lose my background or anything like that. GRRRRRRRRR

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Cooper walking

wanted to wait to show this but you will still see the Christmas pics!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I have to post this

Cooper in his Christmas outfit!! I will post our family pics when my photographer is done editing them :)
Such a "preppy" outfit but I LOVE IT!! Can't wait to show you all the rest of the pics when they are done!

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A gentle reminder

Thank you.

" This Jesus of my day and my imagination cradled my face with his left hand, and with his right he firmly grasped my shoulder.

They know I am not one to be trifled with, but these snakes and scorpions will not relent against you nor against anyone who chooses to follow me. This is hazardous work, but it becomes infinitely more hazardous when you don’t realize and draw upon the Authority given you over this pervasive evil. You need to get that concept and never let it go.

I know this. I just need constant reminders. Maybe you do too. I need to feel it and imagine it and understand it—that with each battle and subsequent victory, Satan falls as a bolt of lightning from the sky, just like that ancient promise, which, I suppose, isn’t so ancient after all. " So I Go

Monday, December 04, 2006


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Thursday, November 30, 2006

I don't think he likes avacado (LOL).....

what do you think??

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Anyone want to see MORE pictures??

Just went outside with Cooper. The snow was perfect!! Not too soft or too hard!! Although he could barely move in the snowsuit cause it is too small!! LOL

What is your elf name?

Mine is:

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at

Cooper's is:

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at

Phil's is:

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at

LOL!! Got a lot of funny names in this house!

Crazy, crazy.....

going crazy.....
Stuck inside with a teething baby! The only reason why I say going is cause I got out yesterday, mind you it was to the dentist but I still got out while Grammy and Grandpa watched Cooper.
I am just thankful that he doesn't take the teething as bad as some other kids do.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Check out the funny hair do!!

and it did it on it's own....LOL
(not to mention, how I love his blue eyes!!)
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Monday, November 27, 2006

Done Christmas decorating

The lights are white. The tree.
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This little tree has colored lights.
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I love my computer BUT.....

it is driving me CRAZY!!! It shuts down on it's own and restarts. My computer guy [:)] says that I don't have enough ram. So here I am ready to throw the darn thing out the window but I know I would go crazy without it so I am grateful for it.
Putting up Christmas decorations right now and I can't have any Christmas music playing cause it takes up too much room and shuts down. Just doesn't feel the same without the music. :(
Just came out from the warm building
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Too cold mommy! Let's go in. (the wind chill was even cold for mommy)
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note from my mommy: awwwww....I feel horrible! He looks so sad. We were outside for a total of like 5 minutes. He was smiling I swear he was!! I didn't even know it was windy. couldn't hear it from here!

Sunday, November 26, 2006


It snowed last night! I am UNBELIEVABLY excited!! Just like a little kid!

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Saturday, November 25, 2006


and I love it!!
I will take pics tomorrow. Should be an interesting drive to church. I heard that it is supposed to snow all week, except Wednesday.
I need some snow pants for my little boy and boots. Hehe....because I can. Want to keep him warm. He took the snow out of my hand today and squished it in his own then threw it. Hehehe...knows how to do snowballs already :D

7 months old

My little angel turned 7 months on the 16th! How time flies!

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(sorry it's blurry, I blame the camera!!)

Friday, November 24, 2006

My standing boy

I know it is grainy and I did try to fix it but :P I got to make dinner. But I thought I would share the pic. I love how he is biting his lower lip. He has been doing that lately. Cute.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Reaching out

You know, I was going back over some things lately. Reading some of my old poems and stuff. I am not in a black hole. I have been reaching for some help but while reading one of my poems it occured to me that I am not reaching for the right kind of help. That I need to be reaching to God and for God rather then people. God will not let me down and he will lead the way. Just some of the verses of this poem struck me. He is warmth, love, patience and kindness. Why haven't I been reaching for Him.
I have been chosing not to be personal with my blogs. Just never found the point of it anymore. Then a friend pointed out that I am not doing it for others, I am doing it for myself. Why didn't I see that?
I have chosen to busy myself with things that don't relate to God or, in actuality, things that don't make me think. Things that make me have to examine myself cause I don't have the time. Sure I have the time or else I wouldn't be blogging. I need to get back. I realize that. I have tried before but in my mind failed. Then I wonder why I even bother cause I am getting distracted too easily.
I know that God is faithful. I know that He provides. I personally believe my life right now is a walking example of that. I am so thankful too. I think maybe going back and reading some of my old poetry has reminded me who I really need to reach for. I need to reach for Him. His warmth, His love, His strength, His faith, His never tiring or faultering arms. Thank you Lord that You are so faithful and that You are holding Your hands to me. Here I am reaching back to You.
There is no title to this poem. And like I said, I am not down or out. I am not in a dark hole. I just loved remembering the love. I am reaching for help and now I think I have realized where it is I need to extend that hand to.

You are thrown to the
ground and engulfed by
the black hole abyss,
There seems to be
no feasable way around it.
You lay there wondering
what to do next?
All around you is nothing
but black empty space
the takes the breath and
life right out of you.
You reach as high as you
can muster with all
your strength.
You feel the warmth on
your cold, clammy fingers.
You feel the warmth and
the touch of love
Love is reaching back to
you while you lie in
wait wondering.
Love will no let go of
you and let you
disappear into the great
Love holds you so faithfully
and strong, never tiring
or giving up even when
you get weak.
Love will help pull you
out of this dark hole
slowly, step by step, and
will never turn it's
back on you.
Love is patient, kind and
ever so understanding.
You are loved. You do matter
Slowly you start to feel
yourself coming away from
the black hole abyss.

Feb. 16, 2005

Monday, November 20, 2006

Tired of it all

This is a vent. If any cares ;)

I am tired of it all. Tired of feeling alone when I am in a crowded room. Tired of wondering if I wasn't blogging would anyone care? Tired of feeling like I am just a boring person.
Just over all tired of everything.
People who I thought were friends seem to be non existent. Don't seem to want to be near me or around me anymore. Why? What did I do?
I started blogging a long time ago and didn't really get the point to it. Then I began to love doing it but am now at the point of wondering why I even bother. I am having a conversation with myself. Does anyone care? It is like if I don't bear a part of myself I don't matter. I have to dish the crap out first. Have been feeling this way for a while. Hence the reason why there are no insightful posts. Lost touch with that part of me.
My son is my life. I write about him a lot and it just seems like no one really cares about it and that is fine cause I am not doing it for you.
I always thought, if you don't like it don't read it. I guess that is where it is now. No one likes it so no one reads it so why do I bother anymore?
The people that I thought were friends just seem to want nothing to do with me. No matter how many times I reach out. I have been wanting to reach out to people but am tired of feeling like a burden and tired of feeling shuned. If you think this blog is about you you are probably wrong. You can send me an email and ask but you are probably wrong.
I understand how hectic life is, heck my kid is screaming to get up and I am not wanting to get him up cause these 6am wake up times are rediculous.
Why do I bother reaching out? Cause that is what God needs us to do. But I am tired of reaching out and feeling nothing but space. Do you care? Does it matter? I don't care anymore. I am done with it. I am just tired of it all. Want to find rest but that is just impossible. I don't want sympathy I don't want pity. Want to know how I am feeling? Here it is. Will probably end up being deleted like so many times before but this is where I am at and I hate it. I hate feeling like "another brick in the wall". I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish that when I reached out to some people I felt something back. I wish that when I reached for God too I felt His hand take mine. I can't feel it. What is wrong with me?
Just tired of it all.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

What a wonderful way to wake up!

The alarm went off. There was a song just starting Phil rolled over and cuddled. It was "our" song. Our wedding song.
Sammy Kershaw's "Love of My Life."
Of course in my half asleep stupor I said that would make a beautiful wedding song. Once it was over. My husband says, that was our wedding song. I don't know you anymore. (totally joking of course. At least I think ;) ) I said, DUH!! That is why I loved it and totally reconized it.
Perfect way to say good morning.

Sammy Kershaw

You are the love of my life
And you are the reason I'm alive
And baby, baby, baby
When I think of how you saved me
I go crazy.

I've never known love like this
And it fills me with a new tenderness
And I know, I know, I know
You're in my heart, you're in my soul
You're all I can't resist.

And I need to tell you
The first time I held you I knew
You are the love of my life

I spent a lifetime waiting
always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know is I need you.

And you are the love of my life
All the joy and tears that I cry
And baby, baby, baby
You don't have to say a word
I see it in your eyes.

As we stand together
I promise forever 'til the day that I die
You are the love of my life.

--- Instrumental ---

I spent a lifetime waiting
Always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know is I need you.

You are the love of my life
And you are the reason I'm alive...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Cooper is staying rear facing as long as possible

no matter how crazy I may look or sound. Now it makes me wish we researched the carseats a little better. Rather then getting one that was a little less expensive and seemed the same as the more expensive one. Why do I do this to myself? I hope my kid is safe. I believe he is.

This is a video showing why rear-facing is so much safer than forward-facing. It shows crash tests of both and you can see the enormous difference it makes on a child...please check it out!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


funny phone call this morning!!! (My words are in blue)


Hi. Is your mom or dad there?

Pardon me?

Is your mom or dad there?

ummmmmmm.........I am the woman of the house hold.

(she laughs a giddy, nervous laugh)You sound so young. Sorry. This is...............

and the conversation continues. Looking back I should have said, sorry they aren't in right now can I take a message? LOL! Geesh!! I don't sound that young do I? I do sound like a frog cause of my cold but COME ON!! That is definately a new one.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Calling on the body of Christ

I attend a moms group on Friday mornings. I love the ladies there and it is a great start to the day.
This is why I am calling on all of you to pray.
One of the moms has a 1 and a half year old and was expecting twins. She was 25 weeks along and went into labour. She had two very beautiful girls named Faith and Makaila. So that is 15 weeks early if my math is right.
Apparently the girls aren't doing too well. Karyn, the mom, was saying that Faith has a blood infection and Makaila has a lung infection. This family really needs all of our prayers.
Please help me in lifting them up in prayer today. Any moment of the day if we can just stop and send up a prayer. I am going to say one here but as usual feel free to say what ever moves you to do so.
You can follow their journey here.
Thank you

Heavenly Father.
I come before you today with a lot on my heart and Karyn and her family is one of them. I just pray for them to be lifted into Your loving arms and feel Your presence. I pray for a miracle in these two precious little baby girls. Your gift from above. I pray for things to just start miraculously getting better for these little angels. That Your touch is ever so evident to all of us and that it just amazes the doctors. I pray for Your blessing on this wonderful family. Lord, thank you for their gift. Precious twin girls. Amazing in itself. I just hold them to you today and everyday.
In Your precious name we pray.

new teeth

see the dates? yeah it has been a fun few days round here!!
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Sunday, November 12, 2006

ok. I thought this was funny

we are in trouble. Someone was motoring around this morning and found daddy's shoes. I didn't realize until I saw his face. Can you see it??

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ok. I thought this was funny

we are in trouble. Someone was motoring around this morning and found daddy's shoes. I didn't realize until I saw his face. Can you see it??

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