Saturday, September 15, 2007

how do you discipline??

A child that just doesn't really understand? Cooper is a very lovey child. He loves to give kisses and hugs but I am now coming across some major problems with it.
Yesterday I was out at moms group. YAY! It started back up. Didn't get to spend much time with the moms. I would hear Payton yell "Cooper no. Stop. Ow" I would look over and here is my 17 month old tackling my three year old niece. When he gives the kisses he does it with an open mouth, thus all those teeth getting in the way. He hugs pretty tight too. So I would get up and remove him and tell him not everyone wants hugs and kisses.
Then I would sit back down only to have another friend point out "oh he is attacking Leiah" so there I went again. So I was at the end of my rope and was very frustrated. Where the heck did I go wrong with my parenting. How do you tell a kid that being affectionate is not what all kids want. I redirect. I do say no. I will say, "here give mommy a hug instead".
So then I had to follow him around. Almost in tears cause I was so embarassed. Then I went and sat back down keeping a watchful eye on my boy. I see him pushing a chair and one of the other kids decided they wanted the chair and told him no and sat down. Thus squishing Cooper's fingers. Cooper pulled his hand away as I sat there to see his reaction. He rubbed his hand and just looked at the kid. Then all of them started to laugh at him. Four of them gathered around him laughing. My heart was breaking. I just sat and watched. (bad I know but I wanted to see what he would do) He just turned and walked away. But it brought back so many memories of me being teased and picked on. Then a realization that I cannot protect him from everything.
I was close to tears cause of the way they all laughed at him and then the way he knocked kids down and made them cry. He didn't mean to. He is a good person with such a big heart. But I really don't know what to do. How do I correct this? I almost got up and left the group. But then I realized that I need to keep him around the other kids. I think he just needs to be around kids more then what he is at this point. The adults are stronger and he doesn't knock them over when he hugs or kisses. He just doesn't get that the kids are lighter then him and he can hurt them.
I feel so embarassed and frustrated. Where did I go wrong with my parenting? Did we rough house too much? Did we play too much? Too many kisses? Not stop it soon enough? What can I do??? HELP!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

this is terrible

and I know you may all think I am a rotten person but...

I seperated the kids. I put a gate up across the hallway that leads to Cooper's room and put toys, lots of them, on that side. The little guy is over there and Cooper is in the living room. I hate having to restrict the kids, let alone my own, to different parts of the house. I seriously think this kid hates it here. Hates us.
I can't tell Cooper no to hugging I just have been redirecting. I want to quit but deep back in my mind I hope and pray that it will work out one day. That they will start getting along. Funny thing is that when he used to visit before they were great together. When out and about they are good too. Must be something about my house.
But how would you feel as a parent if you came to pick up your kid only to see them seperated? They have been this way for a half hour and are both behaving properly.
I am tempted to try them together again but I have a headache from the crying all day. Not to mention the toy box is on the couch cause Cooper keeps standing on it. He is not even able to get up on the couch now!
I know we need the money, I would like to start saving and splurge on little things, but I am praying this settles. Phil is extremely supportive of whatever decision I make. But I don't want to fail. I don't want to be known as someone who gives up and is a failure. Makes me wonder about two kids!!! LOL!!

ok vent done.....for now.....

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Day 4 and I feel a wee bit stressed

Today is day 4. The boys had a 4 day weekend from one another so today it was like starting all over again.
My heart is aching and I even feel on the edge of tears. I know it may be stupid but I didn't ever think it would be so tough to transition and help the boys learn. I have gone from barely telling Cooper no for hugs or that was enough, to telling him ALL the time. Or redirecting him. It is hard cause he is so affectionate and the other little boy just doesn't want it. Cooper looks at the other boy the wrong way and the other boy cries. This is so hard. I feel like my kid is a bully or something. In actuality he just really likes to give hugs.
He will knock this other kid flat down. I feel bad for the kid and console him while redirecting Cooper.
We went to the park today and the two of them won't even play together. Ran into another lady and saw my neighbours daughter with her. Cooper saw her too and went to hug her. Knocked her to the ground. Then I was SUPER embarassed. Cause he kept doing it. He was just giving kisses and hugs. I kept appologizing to the lady then I just ended up leaving.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up watching this kid. But I couldn't help but wonder what was "wrong" with my son. Why he did this. Then the little boy played with the other kids while Cooper went off and played by himself. I didn't get it. Was he being a loner? He plays well with Payton. How do I get him to be more gentle? How do I shake this feeling that I have done something wrong. I feel like I have done a good job raising him so far but I wonder where I messed up.
sigh.....feeling a wee bit stressed today......

Saturday, September 08, 2007

6 years ago today

I married the love of my life. I can't believe 6 years have gone by already. We have been so blessed.

Happy Anniversary Phil!

These are pictures of pictures so not that great

Friday, September 07, 2007

another devotional this morning

Jeremiah (3:22), God promises he will cure us of our backsliding. If you’ve lost your passion for God, then the way to get it back is not to work yourself into it; rather it’s to humbly ask God to give you that passion back.

Pray – Our dear Heavenly Father, fan into flames the kesed love we once had for you. Create within us clean hearts and revive within us a steadfast spirit. Help us to fall deeply and passionately in love with you. We know you are trustworthy, and we know you will take our love and pour it back on us. We love you, no matter what the circumstances of our lives. You are our God. To echo T.W. Hunt, when you say, “I am,” we simply respond, “You are.”

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Purpose Driven Life - Daily Devotional for today

"Have you ever considered that heartbreak is part of God’s plans for you, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”? (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We put so much energy into avoiding the hurt when God would have us embrace it. He wants us to know that he can heal our hurts, even use our hurts for his benefit, and for us to faithfully believe that sometimes the circumstances we think are harming us are actually positive situations God is engineering."

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

more cooper pics

fell asleep in his stroller. He NEVER does that!!

BIG TIRE. Grandpa's tractor

Daddy & Cooper

a "flower"

YAY! Day two

so they both went down at 11:30ish. Cooper in his room, Adin in mine. They both fell asleep by about 11:45. It is now 1:51 and they are both sleeping still. I am so excited! I even napped

Cooper is doing much better. I haven't told him no as much today. What I do now is just watch and see what he does and sometimes he just touches Adin who then freaks out. So I find myself telling adin that it is ok. That he will be alright. I get down to his level and say, he is not hurting you. But I also redirect Cooper to a big stuffed bunny and tell him to hug the heck out of him! LOL!!
Today we came in from our walk and I let both boys out of the stroller. Cooper knows the drill and followed me to the elevator. Adin just stood at the door smiling. So I said to Cooper, "Cooper, can you go get Adin? Hold his hand and bring him here?" So he then walks over to Adin and grabs his hand and walks him to the elevator. He keeps holding his hand until the door closes then he lets go. When we get to our floor he grabs Adin's hand again and walks him to the door. It was really cute. Once we were in the house he let go of his hand. Awww.....

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Day one

so I start watching the neighbours son today. He is a week older then Cooper. Mom warned me that he hadn't pooped in 24 hours. Cooper neither. So this was gonna be interesting.
Sure enough they poop in unison. BOTH of them pooped at the same time. Getting a taste of what it would be like to have two kids. Odd this close together