Monday, September 08, 2014

13 years

Wow. so it has been a LONG time since I last wrote. I am not going to make promises to write more because I just never know when I will write.

Today is the day I celebrate 13 years of marriage with my wonderful husband Phil. 13 years ago I made a vow through thick and thin, through sickness and health, until death do us part. I hold strong to those vows. However it is not an easy road.

We have our ups and downs. We are strapped in to this roller coaster ride we call marriage together. Lately there has been a lot of downs. However, I know in my heart of hearts we will get through this down and start to travel back up again. Holding to one another through the ride.

Marriage is not easy. Life is not easy. I do hope we are able to work together to get through things. To get through the ups and the downs together. In the past year we have bought a house. We have moved. We have bought a new car. He was beside me as I did the ride to Conquer Cancer and ended up with hypothermia that he had to drive all the way down to Skagit County in the US from Canada to pick me up as I had to end my ride.

The day of our wedding the shone was shining beautifully. The butterflies were setting in full force as my bridal party and I drove off to get our hair done. The nerves were full force as I tried to memorize my vows. Which I WISH I still remembered. But what I do remember were the simple ones that my husband said to me......Misty you are my buggy and I will always love you. I remember being shocked that it was so short. I remember making people laugh as I said, That's it? I remember struggling to get my own vows out. I don't remember my vows. But I remember his. I remember looking in to those amazing blue eyes that seriously had me sucked in when he first said hello. The first time I met him I remember those eyes. The blue that dig deep in to your soul. The blue that pulled me in to his heart. Looking at them on our wedding day I knew he meant every word of that vow he was saying. Looking in them today I can still see the passion and the love for me.

Like I said, we have our ups and downs but who doesn't. We will work through it. We will start to go back up on this ride again. I am thankful for the ones who have stuck by my side during this time. I am thankful for the advice and the encouragement I have been given by friends. We will get through this and there are going to be so many more years to celebrate.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life.
Love your buggy.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

today is a struggle

I have put on weight because of my poor eating choices lately. So my brain is telling me to not eat. That I NEED to not eat. I know it is distorted thinking and wrong but it is so damn loud.

I have done a workout Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I was thinking of taking the day off today but feel a lot of guilt. Not sure what to do. I hate this part of the journey. But I am sure one day I will look back and never have to deal with it again.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

well today was the day

Did my first 5K run.
The Terry Fox run.

I finished in 31min 15.9sec

I am so proud of myself. Next goal is the Run for the cure. Hoping to get it done in 30 minutes! I am so proud of myself and happy I did it!

Saturday, September 14, 2013

the day before the run

so tomorrow I do the Terry Fox run. It is 5K and it is only a fun run but still WHY am I nervous?

I have a time goal set in my mind. I want to be able to do it in at least 45 minutes. We will see what happens. I have taken the past couple days off of running.

Last night the dreams made me laugh. I was dreaming about riding a street bike. Racing with it. Eventually I would love to get in to running a real race. Riding in a real race.

I kind of feel like the night before Christmas. Restless sleep last night. But off to do spin this morning and weight class. That is one of my favorite combinations. My other favorite combination is when I spin then train after class.

The day starts at 8am tomorrow.

Sunday, September 08, 2013

I need to remember this one

"Hey, you remember that dessert you "shouldn't have eaten last night" or or that piece of bread "you KNOW will go straight to your thighs" or that second drink you had, but "you will regret tomorrow"?

Yeah, you remember....NOW forget about it, move on, nothing to see (or dwell on) here.

Don't replay a "not so ideal" eating choice over and over again in your mind.
Don't try to use regret or guilt as motivation.
Don't dwell. Your past is done! The time is NOW! The only food choice that matters, is your next one, the only one you have complete control of.

Remember your long-term health and weight loss goals, think about your way of eating values, and don't bother about damage control.

YOUR purpose and reasons for creating a sustainable way of eating should always be remembered, even in times of "falling off the wagon."

You will NOT self-sabotage your goals and/or values with one poor choice.

You will GROW and become STRONGER from using every choice as an opportunity to become healthier." -- The Cafe Wellness

Friday, September 06, 2013

Rest days

So yesterday was my rest day from the gym. But I did my run. The trainer and I have talked about lining up a new goal in regards to my running. She has helped guide me with getting better at running. I am now doing a 5 minute run, one minute walk type thing. Doing a total of 15 minutes. I find that I can run further too when we do that.

I am so thankful for my trainer who knows what she is doing. She is more then just a trainer. She has education in nutrition, muscles etc. She knows what is going on and how to take care of me. She knows how to help me reach my goals and do it the safe way.

this morning is a rough morning as Aurora was up for 3 hours in the middle of the night so I am missing the run. But time to go to the gym and do my thing. I really love the gym. My trainer is amazing and although a lot of people have advice I listen to her.

going away this weekend and kind of bummed that I will not be working out. But there is a gym at the hotel so who knows ;)

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

I am in shock

Today was my weigh in. I went in thinking that I didn't make it as last week I was 195lbs. There was no way I was going to make the 190lb healthy goal weight by the end of the month.

I begrudgingly took my shoes off and stepped up on the scale. Of course I went to the bathroom before doing so as well. Must shed as much weight as possible. I came in at 190.5lbs.

Upon starting the training session my trainer asked me how I was doing and if I have weighed myself recently. I told her yes. She asked me the result. I told her. She was very happy for me. Looking at me she said, "and how do you feel about this?" I looked up at her (we were passing the medicine ball while I was doing situps) and said, I don't think you would really want to know. She told me she did. I told her that the old thought pattern goes through my head. That I failed. That I didn't make it. I failed by half a pound. She looked at me and told me that I needed to try to focus on the fact that I have lost a lot of weight that month and that you can see my toning. I told her she was right. In the back of my mind I tried to push the "failure" out of my mind. I tried to tell myself that I really am doing well.

Once the training session ended we went in for the "Official" weigh in. Are you ready for it.......I came in at 190.0lbs. The real scale that we used told me I reached my goal. I stood there looking at it. She said, "look at what that says, you did it!" then gave me a high five. We talked about my food log, about the goal for next month's weigh in (losing another 5lbs, down to 185lbs) and what body fat percent we wanted to see me at.
Then as we were talking it was sinking in. I kept staring down at that number she wrote. 190.0lbs. 190. 190. 190. it was real. I made the goal. Then it started to sink in and I looked at her with a smile on my face and said, "I really did it." She told me I should be proud of myself. I told her it was a struggle but yes I was proud of myself. I lost the 7lbs in the month. I asked her if that was good and she said it absolutely was.

We are our own worst critics and I find myself being over critical. As I was leaving it was sinking in. I accomplished the monthly goal. I am proud of myself. I did it! Now where is the cheesecake???

went over my measurements taken today. So I was down 7lbs since August 7. I am down a total of 5.5" as well. No going up this time.
Right Biceps: -.5"
Right Thigh: -2"
Chest: -.5"
Belly Button: same
Waist: Same
Hips: -2"
Right calf: -.5"