Wednesday, March 28, 2007

First hair cut

On Sunday, March 25, I gave Cooper his first real hair cut. Daddy kept feeding him breakfast and kept him entertained while I cute it. It really wasn't all that much but was enough for me. About a half an inch or so. Here are a bunch of photos......




Definatly my little man now!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Oh Dear... A devotional I received this morning....

The Purpose Driven Life - Daily Devotional

March 27, 2007

Radiant Certainty
by Jon Walker

“I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” (John 16:20-22 NIV)

Worship/Fellowship — There are some days when, frankly, I don’t feel much like worshiping God. There are probably more days like that than I’d care to admit.

But usually those are days are when I’m staring at my circumstances and making faithless judgments about what I see around me. And I struggle with the God-truth that he is in the circumstances that surround my life – all the circumstances.

Have you ever considered that heartbreak is part of God’s plans for you, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”? (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) We put so much energy into avoiding the hurt when God would have us embrace it. He wants us to know that he can heal our hurts, even use our hurts for his benefit, and for us to faithfully believe that sometimes the circumstances we think are harming us are actually positive situations God is engineering.

God, who is omnipotent, sees the breadth and depth of our circumstances, and he knows his plans for our lives. Thinking, then, like Christ, we can slowly, ever so slowly, begin to understand that avoiding the pain in our lives is actually an act of faithlessness. God calls us to faith in him during difficult circumstances; we’d rather place our faith in avoiding the circumstances.

As always, Jesus shows us the way – because he is the Way. Jesus embraced the pain of God’s plan for his life, and he did it with full faith that God was still working the plan to bring a “hope and a future” to your life and mine. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) Christ was so sure that his grief would turn to joy that he showed a radiant certainty in God’s faithfulness (“Radiant certainty” is a phrase William Barclay uses to describe the attitude of Jesus at the Last Supper).

Our Brother Jesus, who is also our King, was heading into a crisis that would cost him His life, yet He was so certain – radiantly certain – of God’s faithfulness that not one of his disciples even discerned the gravity of the crisis! Jesus was so certain of God’s faithfulness that it radiates throughout his whole being.

And we, too, can have this radiant certainty about God’s hand in our lives. We can say, when it comes to God’s faithfulness, “I know because I know that I know.” That’s radiant certainty! The Cross was Christ’s glory, not His penalty – and the same is true of difficult circumstances in our lives.

So what?

· God’s faithful character - You will develop this radiant certainty in God when you learn to trust in his faithful character. Your daily worship of God is irrevocably tied to your faith in God.

· Praise God anyhow - You must choose to praise and worship God every day, no matter what the circumstances of your life. Developing a radiant certainty in God begins with simple steps of faith and obedience.

· Respond to God, not your circumstances - When faced with a painful or difficult circumstance, ask God, “How do you want me to respond to this?” Keep your eyes wise for the ‘Why me?’ traps that lay about your circumstances.

You can be radiantly certain of this: Difficult circumstances are opportunities for you to intentionally focus your faith in God and to see what he will do to give you hope and healing.

© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.

Monday, March 26, 2007

So many thoughts

running around in my head that I don't know where to begin.
I feel so lost. I think I may be angry at God too. I am tired of people being taken out of my life. Yes I do know that it is for a reason. I just never knew how much it hurt until it happened to me then I realized that it was an experience I never wanted to happen again.
Every time I open up to someone for some reason God takes them "away". I HATE it. I don't like change. To some extent change is fine and I know it is good but doesn't mean that I have to like it. Call me selfish I, quite frankly, don't give a crap right now. Sure I am selfish but it sure as heck doesn't change any of my feelings.
A special friend stepped down from pastoring our church this weekend. I cried. Then cried some more and some more. I don't know why I took it so hard. Wait yes I do. Cause I am selfish. I am inconsiderate. I know that it is time for them to move on and grow in ways outside of the church. Time for some rest for them. But CRAP!! This fricken hurts. It hurts bad. Without Susan I am not so sure where my life would be today.
A chance meeting 2 plus years ago. Brought me into her home. Under her wing. Started the journey with God. I was vulnerable. I allowed myself to let her in. Allowed myself to cry to try to heal.
I actually used to go to a counselor too. I was reffered to this place. Last counseling session I was told that the practice was closing. Fine I will follow her to her new office. Nope she is retiring. The office is relocating. There is no subsity available. Thus no more help for me. LOL. I guess I was beyond help anyway. As I was talking to her about loosing Susan I saw the look on her face change. Then she had to break it to me that she was leaving. Two people. In one week. Damn it. Damn it all.
I allowed myself to be vulnerable and God just decided that those people didn't need to be as strong in my life anymore. I think that I am pretty angry right now. I am tired of people being taken away. Tired of loosing people. It is stupid. It hurts. What kind of lesson does it teach me? Well let's see it teaches me the lesson that I learnt years ago. My problems are my own. I don't need to burden others.
Don't get me wrong I am truly happy for these wonderful ladies. I am just so hurt. I decided that I had enough. It is NOT the ladies fault. It is my own choosing. I let people in then I end up getting them taken away and I have had enough. That's it. The wall is up. The mask is on. I will always be "good" or "fine". That way there is no chance of me getting hurt. I am mad at God. There is a part of me that wants to scream and yell but I sit silent.
Sue posted this the other day.
"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.
Sylvia Robinson"
funny thing is that I got the same email. I got the same devotion and I decided that I needed to blog that saying. I didn't to begin with cause I was trying to figure out my own world. Letting go. Why if it makes us strong, or stronger, does it hurt so damn bad.
I find myself trying to hang on. Clinging to my wall that I have decided to rebuild. Not wanting to let go, not wanting to move on. Being selfish.
I love these women dearly. They have been a major part of my life and journey. As I said I DO NOT blame either of them. I blame myself and to be honest I am blaming God. I am embarassed to admit it. I wish both of these wonderful women lots of success. I wish for myself to get over being so selfish and inmature and move on.
Damn it change BITES.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

A Word With You.

Got this in my daily email devotional today.
Good picture and analogy.

" Our grandson has one of those inquiring minds. So he really likes a gift he
got for Christmas; it's called a rock tumbler. You'll never guess what it does.
It tumbles rocks. The rock tumbler is placed in water, and these boring old
rocks are placed in the rock tumbler, you turn it on and you let the good times
roll! Those rocks start spinning, flying, and crashing into each other as they
churn around in the water. All they need is some music so they could have a rock
concert. Right? The atmosphere inside that rock tumbler is pure mayhem. But
after all the rockin' and rollin' and clashin' and crashin', something pretty
amazing happens. Before those rocks went through the tumbler, they were just
drab, boring hunks of stone. They come out displaying a beauty you would have
never guessed they had!

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about
"Turbulence That Transforms."

If the real beauty of a dumb old rock is uncovered through turmoil and
turbulence, don't you suppose that could be true of us as people; of you as a
"people"? Could it be that all the hits that you've been taking right now are
actually part of God's "tumbler" to give you a beauty that you've never had
before? That's very much His way. Pressure and heat make a lump of coal into a
diamond. An oyster's irritation and aggravation from a grain of sand ultimately
emerges as a pearl of great price.

Maybe you need to stand back from just looking at what's happening to see
what God is doing through what's happening. Isaiah 61, beginning with verse 1,
our word for today from the Word of God, reveals some of how turbulence can
transform you. The Son of God says: "The Lord ... has sent Me to bind up the
brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness
for the prisoners." You may feel like you're in one of those categories: you're
brokenhearted, you're captive, or you're a prisoner to darkness. That's not the
end of the story.

God's Son goes on to say He was sent to "...comfort all who mourn, and
provide for those who grieve in Zion; to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of
praise instead of a spirit of despair." Jesus makes beauty from the ashes of
your life, gladness from the grieving times, and praise emerging from a time of

Here's how God wants to help you look when you come out of the tumbler:
"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the
display of His splendor." God wants to use the tumbler to make you strong and
indestructible like an oak. Suffering makes wimps into warriors. And He wants to
use the turbulence to give you such a beautiful relationship with Him that you
will be a stage to show His glory. Ultimately, the Bible says, "you will be
named ministers of our God." You'll be equipped by the hard times to be a
powerful instrument of God in other hurting lives.

The shaking you're enduring, the hits you're taking are tools in God's hands
to bring out an amazing beauty in you: a strength, a tenderness, a maturity, a
confidence, a compassion that come only from being beautified in God's tumbler.
So don't wallow in the "why is this happening?" quagmire. Instead, keep asking,
"How can God use this?" Don't despair when you keep running into things and
things keep running into you, when your whole world is spinning and colliding.
This isn't to destroy you. This is to give you a beauty you've never had before.
If you let God have His way in this turbulence, you will "display His splendor"
for the rest of your life!"

Ron Hutchcraft

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I love how he walks!

I love how he walks. Arms up. Kinda like a monkey. He has always been my little monkey. This totally made me laugh and brought a smile to my face then made me laugh even more when seeing it on video!! He's really starting to give the cat a run for her money!!
Hope you will enjoy!

Monday, March 19, 2007


For some reason I find myself reflecting over the last year. So much has happened. I can't believe Cooper is almost one.
I was remembering my birth experience. I am so thankful that it was such a happy one for me and it went so smoothly. After hearing some of the horror stories I am so glad mine went well. And I got this out of it:

Then I was remembering how tiny he used to be. As I sat in the dark room this morning nursing Cooper I remembered when he barely fit on my arm. He was so tiny....

compared to this morning when I looked down at him and saw how BIG he was. LOL. He doesn't fit along my arm. His bum reaches over to my other hip. His legs reach off the side of the recliner.
He would lay on my chest and stretch out and still be above my belly and now when he lays down and stretches out his little head hits under my chin and his feet go half way down my thighs. big.
I remember first starting him on food. That first taste of rice cereal.

and this morning I put a piece of dry toast onto his tray along with some scrambled egg yolk. And his cup. He eats all by himself.

Each day he does something more to make himself that much closer to independance from Mommy. Each day makes it so that he can do things on his own. But sometimes only the Mommy will do and that makes me feel so special.
Close to tears today just remembering. How the heck am I gonna be on his birthday? Where did the baby go? I am so thankful for this little man. He makes everything worth it.
Thanks for reading this far if you did and letting me share my babble. My sappy remembrance. How time flies when you are having fun..........
Thank you God for your amazing gift of a miracle. Every time I look at this perfect little boy it blows me away how You can create something so beautiful and You believe in us to raise him. Thank you

Thursday, March 15, 2007

I got my camera back! WAHOO!!

Look how much he has changed in a month! The first pic you can barely see the 4th tooth on the bottom left (your right). But the second pic you can see that it is through alright!! He has 8 teeth total. Four on top, four on the bottom and his lower right molar is coming in. He was a little under 9 months in the first pic and the other one was taken tonight. He will be 11 months tomorrow. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"Facing Your Giants"

You'll never know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have."

-Max Lucado

Thank you Lord for that reminder. We all have our own places where we have nothing and can only rely on God. I know I have been there. It taught me that He loves me and He will get me through. Taught me to have the faith the next time I find myself with nothing but God again. I think sometimes He puts us in these situations to remind us that all the material things, all the money, all the friends in the world mean nothing if you don't have Jesus to fall onto when those "things" disappear. No matter how short a time they may be gone or how long. He is waiting.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Check this out!!

sorry I couldn't post it here but for some reason with the new blogger I can't post videos. Weird. Must be something I am doing wrong. on the link below..........

Friday, March 09, 2007 were right..........(big ol' gold star for you!)

So yesterday and today Cooper was acting really weird. Laying on the floor. Tapping at the side of his head. TOday was worse. Tapping the right side of his head with an open palm. Then tugging on the top of his ear. I called his doc. He didn't have anything available but my doc had a spot.
So I took him in. My doc used the smallest ear thingy they have and looked in and said..."Ohh....There is a bit of inflamation" Then he said, would you look at that.
So Cooper now has meds. Thank God it happened now, not like I ever want it to happen, instead of in a month when I loose my medical. I am supposed to give him this stuff after he eats. It is called Pediatric Biaxin.
I am nervous.
The pharmacist said that it can cause stomach pains. That there could be vomiting. My doc told me if he starts vomiting or gets a fever that lasts a day to go back. I am scared to be honest. He has never thrown up.
Thank God for medical though!!
Any one have any advice to get me through this? I know there are lots that have had this happen before. I know I sound pathetic but I used to get them SO bad when I was a kid. I remember the pain. Poor baby. Any tips or pointers?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I know it is late but I got the full name

she is so pretty!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

So is her sister! Here is the "announcement" I did when she was born. I think they look alike. What about you??
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

A fun day!

Yesterday I got to meet Miss. Biscotti Brain herself!! She is such a sweet heart! Just like I pictured her! There are so many people I would love to meet from the blog world and she was one of them. She is so fun and her laugh is infectious!!
Sue and I went and picked her up from Lori's house. Lori wasn't going to come for dinner but we managed to twist her rubber arm and she ended up coming. I had a blast. So there we all were in White Spot. A BC restaurant. Lori, Erin, Sue, Cooper and I. It was so fun.
We got to talking about Lori's dog Frodo. Now if you have met Frodo you know that he is definitely a one of a kind dog! I love him! So does Phil. He has so much spunk. Erin was talking about his drool habit and I said watch out for the other end! He lets some wicked farts out too. She had no idea. She said she was pushing his head away and turning him so she didn't get the drool on her. She was lucky she didn't get farted on.
So we got to talking about fart. LOL. Funny! I have a friend that would have been RIGHT at home with that conversation. Lori was telling us about her first encounters with Frodo. Pretty funny.
Then I opened my big mouth......
I told them how Phil (sorry hun....) can let some wicked ones go silently but then try to blame it on Cooper. He will own up to them most of the times but sometimes he blames it on Cooper. Then I hear it. HI PHIL!! I look over and sure enough Phil was walking over to the table. He was coming to pick Cooper up for me so I can have some "girl" time.
OH BOY!! Did my face ever go red. And the table just erupted with laughter. That deep from the gut laughter and the more we laughed the louder we got. It was great. I actually saw some people look at us but then they started laughing. The contagious laughter.
Phil had no idea how perfect his timing was. I told him later and he just laughed. Thankfully he has a great sense of humor. But I bet he will read this and that will be the end of me. LOL!! But all in all it was such a fun night.
Hoping more people I know will come and visit the West Coast of Canada. Hey it is your turn with your wife and kids! I would love to meet you all one day! It is kinda cool how small our world is. It is also funny how an event like yesterday is turned into something that we now call as "blogable"

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

It's 4:30 am what are you doing?

I am sitting here listening to my baby scream and cry. Yeah I know that sounds terrible but there is nothing else I can do.
This is the second time we have been up tonight. Well second for me, first for Phil.
Cooper is sick. You would think that like most kids he just wants to cuddle with Mommy and or Daddy then he would go back to sleep. Well........I truly have a one of a kind son.
He doesn't want cuddles. I pick him up and hold him and he does the same thing. SCREAMS. We figured he is probably in pain from the cold. We gave him motrin. You would think it would make him sleepy. Nope he is still screaming.
I hold him and he fights me. Kicks at me and hits me and screams. I put him in the crib and he does the same thing. Phil holds him and the same thing. He will calm down for a minute or two but then go right back at it. I go in there and he gets worse. Doesn't want to be held or to lay down.
Come on kid! You are sick.......most people sleep when they are sick. Nope. Not my one of a kind kid. I wouldn't trade him for the world. But I can tell you that Daddy's new invention of a baby tranquilizer is sounding appealing right about now. JUST KIDDING!
Oh I hope he starts feeling better soon. Sleeping through the night again would be nice. lol.
Then I start to wonder...........hmmmmm.......he's inconsolable. When does that become a concern? He won't stop no matter what. When do I become concerned about that if at all? Anyone??

Saturday, March 03, 2007

oh dear....

rough night sleep for us all last night. Cooper kept waking up crying.
He sounded all snuffles. He never got to the point of us needing to go in there until about 6 this morning.
I think he has a cold. But could it be his molar coming in?? We thought we saw something on the top right side. The back, behind where the eye teeth would come in.
The snot (for lack of better word, my mind can't think anymore) is clear. No color what so ever. He is drooling like mad and just a chomping on his finger.
We can't tell yet if it is a cold or not. There was a bit of a cough but it could be the stuff draining into his throat. (Gross)
Phil and I are a bit stuffy though. It could be my house too. Not sure. So many variables. sigh.....
I love snow and stuff but I think we are ready for spring........