Thursday, June 07, 2007

so what the HELL is wrong with me!!

been in a funk the last couple days. Well maybe the last week but whatever you don't want to hear about all of that. You probably don't even want to read what I am going to say but I am gonna say it anyway.
Was out tonight and some of the moms were talking about how they lost 25 pounds right after delivery and were back into their pre-pregnancy clothes within a month. I gained 50 pounds with Cooper. It was my own fault. I haven't been eating proper. I didn't eat proper then.
I have lost 11 pounds SINCE HIS BIRTH. How stupid is that. What the HELL is my problem. I am trying really hard to cut my portions down now and to do taebo. Heck if it were up to me, which it isn't cause Cooper is still nursing, I just wouldn't bloody well eat.
I am not wanting rude or mean comments. If anyone comments anyway.
Just feeling down in the dumps and crappy about myself. And I don't want to talk about it. I push it down it will go away.
A friend told me I was beautiful. That God made me in His image and if I think I am ugly, do I think God is. I said of course not. Then she said then how can you be? God makes only beautiful and wonderful things and He doesn't make mistakes so you are beautiful. She told me to repeat that I am beautiful out loud in the mirror. I have yet to do that. I just don't believe it.
Going onto my second summer. I look and feel like crap. I hate my body. But I love my son and I would do it all over again in a heart beat for him.
I just hear and see these women get back to their prepregnancy weight and I can't help but wonder, so what the HELL is wrong with me!!


Michelle said...

You are beautiful.

Everyone's body deals with pregnancy weight differently. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. I never did get back to pre-Payton pregnancy weight, and I'm still not close now.

Nicole said...

I know I've seen some woman who had a baby, and 2 days later you would have never guessed. It's sick. I've never been pregnant, but I know in general everyone's metabolisms are very different. For ex: myself versus my skinny ass husband who could eat anything and probably die of a massive heart attack before he even gained an ounce. So as far as I am concerned, you are the one who is perfectly normal, its the other woman who aren't.

LauraB said...

I think your beautiful too :)

Mommy said...

Don't be so concerned with weight as much as over-all health. Go for walks, get fresh air, drink lots of water, and eat lots of fruits and veggies :) Don't forget those multi-vitamins.