Friday, November 10, 2006

The sound of the rain pounding on my car. First it starts off slowly and barely audible. Then all of a sudden the wind kicks up. The rain pelts down on my side windows coming at the vehicle sideways. I give my son a kiss on the forehead then get into the drivers seat. The wind kicks up yet again. The rain gets louder. Pulling out of the driveway. Trying to make a left turn. Fun times! Considering the second MVA I was ever in was in the rain making a left hand turn. My dad was driving.
So starts the drive. I hate driving in the rain. Even more behind semi trucks. My first MVA was when I was driving behind a semi in the rain and then lost control and did a ping pong ball effect between two meridians. I had been heading east bound but when the car finally came to a stop I was facing west. Just missed the bridge and missed all other vehicles.
Hate is a strong word but it is a necessary one. I hate the rain. I hate driving in it. I hate being passenger in it. I love puddle stomping but hate it when it is me in a car. I think I have every reason to.
White knuckled hands embrace the steering wheel so that I can get where I am going. Gotta drive. Can't avoid it every day. A semi merges into my lane and I have a moment of panic. But I stick to the road. What happens if he were to hit me? Would my baby be ok? What would happen if we were in an accident? Would the ambulance separate us? All thoughts in the matter of seconds.
Then it came to me. Pray.
So I did. Driving the speed limit down the road asking God to get us safely to our destination. The mist and cloudy dreary look of the sky. The lack of ability to see. I am doing 80. Three car lengths behind the person in front of me. In the slow lane. Still doesn't stop the many other drivers from sucking up on my bumper. The only thing I see in my mirror is grill. I pray again. They fly past me. I am amazed they don't lose control. Hands clutching the steering wheel, music off and focused on the road.
Thinking about my baby sound asleep in the back. Secured in his specially designed seat. Praying and knowing that we are safe. That we will make it to our destination.
So we made it. Thank God. We are safe. Thank God. I just get scared every time and now that there is a baby in the car the need to be that much safer is evident.
Thank you God that you are there to listen to the little prayers. The little ones over and over that I mutter. Thank you that you listen. Thank you that you care. Thank you that we are safe.
One day I won't be afraid anymore. Right??


Anonymous said...

I became afraid of some things more intensely when I had my children. Just knew that I needed to take note and pay more attention because of the young life that was dependent on me. One day I knew without a doubt that whatever happened God loved them even more than I did. He held them and me in His hand, secure, warm and sheltered. Since then my fears have eased. (Except for the recent panic attacks that I've had crossing over that awful bridge, you know the one.) Prayer helps that immensely.

Anonymous said...

Having kids really does intensify fears. Do the best you can, and pray...A lot!!

I too dislike driving in the rain, I really dislike driving in the rain at night! Being that it is Western B.C. I figure it is inevitable though!!