Thursday, November 30, 2006

I don't think he likes avacado (LOL).....

what do you think??

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Anyone want to see MORE pictures??

Just went outside with Cooper. The snow was perfect!! Not too soft or too hard!! Although he could barely move in the snowsuit cause it is too small!! LOL

What is your elf name?

Mine is:

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at

Cooper's is:

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at

Phil's is:

Christmas Elf Name

My Christmas Elf Name is
Get your Christmas Elf Name at

LOL!! Got a lot of funny names in this house!

Crazy, crazy.....

going crazy.....
Stuck inside with a teething baby! The only reason why I say going is cause I got out yesterday, mind you it was to the dentist but I still got out while Grammy and Grandpa watched Cooper.
I am just thankful that he doesn't take the teething as bad as some other kids do.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Check out the funny hair do!!

and it did it on it's own....LOL
(not to mention, how I love his blue eyes!!)
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Monday, November 27, 2006

Done Christmas decorating

The lights are white. The tree.
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This little tree has colored lights.
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I love my computer BUT.....

it is driving me CRAZY!!! It shuts down on it's own and restarts. My computer guy [:)] says that I don't have enough ram. So here I am ready to throw the darn thing out the window but I know I would go crazy without it so I am grateful for it.
Putting up Christmas decorations right now and I can't have any Christmas music playing cause it takes up too much room and shuts down. Just doesn't feel the same without the music. :(
Just came out from the warm building
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Too cold mommy! Let's go in. (the wind chill was even cold for mommy)
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note from my mommy: awwwww....I feel horrible! He looks so sad. We were outside for a total of like 5 minutes. He was smiling I swear he was!! I didn't even know it was windy. couldn't hear it from here!

Sunday, November 26, 2006


It snowed last night! I am UNBELIEVABLY excited!! Just like a little kid!

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Saturday, November 25, 2006


and I love it!!
I will take pics tomorrow. Should be an interesting drive to church. I heard that it is supposed to snow all week, except Wednesday.
I need some snow pants for my little boy and boots. Hehe....because I can. Want to keep him warm. He took the snow out of my hand today and squished it in his own then threw it. Hehehe...knows how to do snowballs already :D

7 months old

My little angel turned 7 months on the 16th! How time flies!

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(sorry it's blurry, I blame the camera!!)

Friday, November 24, 2006

My standing boy

I know it is grainy and I did try to fix it but :P I got to make dinner. But I thought I would share the pic. I love how he is biting his lower lip. He has been doing that lately. Cute.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Reaching out

You know, I was going back over some things lately. Reading some of my old poems and stuff. I am not in a black hole. I have been reaching for some help but while reading one of my poems it occured to me that I am not reaching for the right kind of help. That I need to be reaching to God and for God rather then people. God will not let me down and he will lead the way. Just some of the verses of this poem struck me. He is warmth, love, patience and kindness. Why haven't I been reaching for Him.
I have been chosing not to be personal with my blogs. Just never found the point of it anymore. Then a friend pointed out that I am not doing it for others, I am doing it for myself. Why didn't I see that?
I have chosen to busy myself with things that don't relate to God or, in actuality, things that don't make me think. Things that make me have to examine myself cause I don't have the time. Sure I have the time or else I wouldn't be blogging. I need to get back. I realize that. I have tried before but in my mind failed. Then I wonder why I even bother cause I am getting distracted too easily.
I know that God is faithful. I know that He provides. I personally believe my life right now is a walking example of that. I am so thankful too. I think maybe going back and reading some of my old poetry has reminded me who I really need to reach for. I need to reach for Him. His warmth, His love, His strength, His faith, His never tiring or faultering arms. Thank you Lord that You are so faithful and that You are holding Your hands to me. Here I am reaching back to You.
There is no title to this poem. And like I said, I am not down or out. I am not in a dark hole. I just loved remembering the love. I am reaching for help and now I think I have realized where it is I need to extend that hand to.

You are thrown to the
ground and engulfed by
the black hole abyss,
There seems to be
no feasable way around it.
You lay there wondering
what to do next?
All around you is nothing
but black empty space
the takes the breath and
life right out of you.
You reach as high as you
can muster with all
your strength.
You feel the warmth on
your cold, clammy fingers.
You feel the warmth and
the touch of love
Love is reaching back to
you while you lie in
wait wondering.
Love will no let go of
you and let you
disappear into the great
Love holds you so faithfully
and strong, never tiring
or giving up even when
you get weak.
Love will help pull you
out of this dark hole
slowly, step by step, and
will never turn it's
back on you.
Love is patient, kind and
ever so understanding.
You are loved. You do matter
Slowly you start to feel
yourself coming away from
the black hole abyss.

Feb. 16, 2005

Monday, November 20, 2006

Tired of it all

This is a vent. If any cares ;)

I am tired of it all. Tired of feeling alone when I am in a crowded room. Tired of wondering if I wasn't blogging would anyone care? Tired of feeling like I am just a boring person.
Just over all tired of everything.
People who I thought were friends seem to be non existent. Don't seem to want to be near me or around me anymore. Why? What did I do?
I started blogging a long time ago and didn't really get the point to it. Then I began to love doing it but am now at the point of wondering why I even bother. I am having a conversation with myself. Does anyone care? It is like if I don't bear a part of myself I don't matter. I have to dish the crap out first. Have been feeling this way for a while. Hence the reason why there are no insightful posts. Lost touch with that part of me.
My son is my life. I write about him a lot and it just seems like no one really cares about it and that is fine cause I am not doing it for you.
I always thought, if you don't like it don't read it. I guess that is where it is now. No one likes it so no one reads it so why do I bother anymore?
The people that I thought were friends just seem to want nothing to do with me. No matter how many times I reach out. I have been wanting to reach out to people but am tired of feeling like a burden and tired of feeling shuned. If you think this blog is about you you are probably wrong. You can send me an email and ask but you are probably wrong.
I understand how hectic life is, heck my kid is screaming to get up and I am not wanting to get him up cause these 6am wake up times are rediculous.
Why do I bother reaching out? Cause that is what God needs us to do. But I am tired of reaching out and feeling nothing but space. Do you care? Does it matter? I don't care anymore. I am done with it. I am just tired of it all. Want to find rest but that is just impossible. I don't want sympathy I don't want pity. Want to know how I am feeling? Here it is. Will probably end up being deleted like so many times before but this is where I am at and I hate it. I hate feeling like "another brick in the wall". I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish that when I reached out to some people I felt something back. I wish that when I reached for God too I felt His hand take mine. I can't feel it. What is wrong with me?
Just tired of it all.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

What a wonderful way to wake up!

The alarm went off. There was a song just starting Phil rolled over and cuddled. It was "our" song. Our wedding song.
Sammy Kershaw's "Love of My Life."
Of course in my half asleep stupor I said that would make a beautiful wedding song. Once it was over. My husband says, that was our wedding song. I don't know you anymore. (totally joking of course. At least I think ;) ) I said, DUH!! That is why I loved it and totally reconized it.
Perfect way to say good morning.

Sammy Kershaw

You are the love of my life
And you are the reason I'm alive
And baby, baby, baby
When I think of how you saved me
I go crazy.

I've never known love like this
And it fills me with a new tenderness
And I know, I know, I know
You're in my heart, you're in my soul
You're all I can't resist.

And I need to tell you
The first time I held you I knew
You are the love of my life

I spent a lifetime waiting
always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know is I need you.

And you are the love of my life
All the joy and tears that I cry
And baby, baby, baby
You don't have to say a word
I see it in your eyes.

As we stand together
I promise forever 'til the day that I die
You are the love of my life.

--- Instrumental ---

I spent a lifetime waiting
Always hesitating until you
I was lost so deep inside my shell
'Til you came and saved me from myself
Now all I really know is I need you.

You are the love of my life
And you are the reason I'm alive...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Cooper is staying rear facing as long as possible

no matter how crazy I may look or sound. Now it makes me wish we researched the carseats a little better. Rather then getting one that was a little less expensive and seemed the same as the more expensive one. Why do I do this to myself? I hope my kid is safe. I believe he is.

This is a video showing why rear-facing is so much safer than forward-facing. It shows crash tests of both and you can see the enormous difference it makes on a child...please check it out!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


funny phone call this morning!!! (My words are in blue)


Hi. Is your mom or dad there?

Pardon me?

Is your mom or dad there?

ummmmmmm.........I am the woman of the house hold.

(she laughs a giddy, nervous laugh)You sound so young. Sorry. This is...............

and the conversation continues. Looking back I should have said, sorry they aren't in right now can I take a message? LOL! Geesh!! I don't sound that young do I? I do sound like a frog cause of my cold but COME ON!! That is definately a new one.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Calling on the body of Christ

I attend a moms group on Friday mornings. I love the ladies there and it is a great start to the day.
This is why I am calling on all of you to pray.
One of the moms has a 1 and a half year old and was expecting twins. She was 25 weeks along and went into labour. She had two very beautiful girls named Faith and Makaila. So that is 15 weeks early if my math is right.
Apparently the girls aren't doing too well. Karyn, the mom, was saying that Faith has a blood infection and Makaila has a lung infection. This family really needs all of our prayers.
Please help me in lifting them up in prayer today. Any moment of the day if we can just stop and send up a prayer. I am going to say one here but as usual feel free to say what ever moves you to do so.
You can follow their journey here.
Thank you

Heavenly Father.
I come before you today with a lot on my heart and Karyn and her family is one of them. I just pray for them to be lifted into Your loving arms and feel Your presence. I pray for a miracle in these two precious little baby girls. Your gift from above. I pray for things to just start miraculously getting better for these little angels. That Your touch is ever so evident to all of us and that it just amazes the doctors. I pray for Your blessing on this wonderful family. Lord, thank you for their gift. Precious twin girls. Amazing in itself. I just hold them to you today and everyday.
In Your precious name we pray.

new teeth

see the dates? yeah it has been a fun few days round here!!
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Sunday, November 12, 2006

ok. I thought this was funny

we are in trouble. Someone was motoring around this morning and found daddy's shoes. I didn't realize until I saw his face. Can you see it??

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

ok. I thought this was funny

we are in trouble. Someone was motoring around this morning and found daddy's shoes. I didn't realize until I saw his face. Can you see it??

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Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Friday, November 10, 2006

The sound of the rain pounding on my car. First it starts off slowly and barely audible. Then all of a sudden the wind kicks up. The rain pelts down on my side windows coming at the vehicle sideways. I give my son a kiss on the forehead then get into the drivers seat. The wind kicks up yet again. The rain gets louder. Pulling out of the driveway. Trying to make a left turn. Fun times! Considering the second MVA I was ever in was in the rain making a left hand turn. My dad was driving.
So starts the drive. I hate driving in the rain. Even more behind semi trucks. My first MVA was when I was driving behind a semi in the rain and then lost control and did a ping pong ball effect between two meridians. I had been heading east bound but when the car finally came to a stop I was facing west. Just missed the bridge and missed all other vehicles.
Hate is a strong word but it is a necessary one. I hate the rain. I hate driving in it. I hate being passenger in it. I love puddle stomping but hate it when it is me in a car. I think I have every reason to.
White knuckled hands embrace the steering wheel so that I can get where I am going. Gotta drive. Can't avoid it every day. A semi merges into my lane and I have a moment of panic. But I stick to the road. What happens if he were to hit me? Would my baby be ok? What would happen if we were in an accident? Would the ambulance separate us? All thoughts in the matter of seconds.
Then it came to me. Pray.
So I did. Driving the speed limit down the road asking God to get us safely to our destination. The mist and cloudy dreary look of the sky. The lack of ability to see. I am doing 80. Three car lengths behind the person in front of me. In the slow lane. Still doesn't stop the many other drivers from sucking up on my bumper. The only thing I see in my mirror is grill. I pray again. They fly past me. I am amazed they don't lose control. Hands clutching the steering wheel, music off and focused on the road.
Thinking about my baby sound asleep in the back. Secured in his specially designed seat. Praying and knowing that we are safe. That we will make it to our destination.
So we made it. Thank God. We are safe. Thank God. I just get scared every time and now that there is a baby in the car the need to be that much safer is evident.
Thank you God that you are there to listen to the little prayers. The little ones over and over that I mutter. Thank you that you listen. Thank you that you care. Thank you that we are safe.
One day I won't be afraid anymore. Right??

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

There are so many things going on right now! I need to talk it out. It is all petty stuff but enough to make me feel stressed out.

1. I have to go to the dentist tonight in 1.5 hours. 6:00pm. So, I am tryingto get milk for Cooper. Thank God I have frozen stuff. But now it is a matter of restocking what I am taking out and that is tough.

2. My MIL is coming to watch Cooper for the first time. I have to lay everything out for her and go over what needs to be done and what she can do. I know sounds dumb but that is what I need to do in order to keep my sanity. I have to explain how we do the bottle. To take another one out of the freezer if needed.

3. My husband isn't home tonight. It would be so much simpilar if he was. (I keep thinking about my milk. Must increase supply) Trying to figure out how to get our friends car out to them when he is done working on it. Thinking that they need to come here and get it.

4. There is a retreat we were invited to this weekend. I want to go. Not sure if Phil still wants to. Someone has paid for us. Wow. So now we should be going. Just didn't think it would be so hard to plan a day away from my son. What he needs. When to bring him up to us so that I can feed him. I don't know what to do. What time to drop him off at the Aunts house.

5. To top it all off Cooper has spat up on almost every nice shirt I have. Teach me to wear things that made me feel normal. So I am worried that they are all stained. A few of them I keep trying to get it out but hasn't worked yet. So what am I going to do? I am running out of shirts. Looks like I have to wear a summer one to the dentist.

6. My poor kids teeth are buggin him and he is a wee bit fussy.

sigh...thanks I think that is it for now. I need to go and get things ready for tonight....why do I feel so stressed out? It isn't like the retreat is tomorrow. I have two days to try to get milk to replace the other stuff. It's not like I don't have any in the freezer. Just didn't think it would take so much brain power to go away for a day. Not sure if I can handle leaving him that long. I can do it. Can I?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Yesterday Payton and I....

baked Cookies while Cooper and Michelle had a bit of a nap. It was fun! Cooper woke up just in time for the first batch to finish. It was a nice Auntie and Payton moment.
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

OH MY!!! He crawled TO me....

on purpose!! Cooper was fussy. Just woke up from his nap. I asked him, what's up? I said, "cooper, Milk?" While signing it and put my hands down to his level and asked again. "Do you want milk (insert sign here) and he came right to me! I take that as a yes!! That was cool!


*warning* Not for the queesy. with a baby...
In Cooper's defense it was my own fault. I was playing with him, up in the air and tickling him. He just ate. Silly Mommy! So up in the air he goes and out comes the milk! I had just taken my glasses off so that he wouldn't be pulling at them. And where did the vomit go? RIGHT INTO MY RIGHT EYE!! In my hair, down my back and arm too. So in the exersaucer he went. In front of the bathroom door and into the shower I went!
You know those videos where you see the baby throw up on the adult? I used to laugh. NOT ANYMORE!! EWWWWWWW!!!!!