Monday, November 22, 2004

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law:
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
I learnt that from my photography teacher in highschool. Lately I have tended to add two words: to Misty. I am not trying to feel sorry for myself but it just happens that way sometimes.
I have been looking for a new job for a while now but not wanting to settle for a fast-food job, I apply anywhere but. And I haven't found a job why........... Yep high standards. It is so hard not to have them about yourself and your life. I am the type of person that has to have all the answers right away and will "jump the gun" even before it has gone off. A few people at work are fortunate enough to be getting out of there but nope- not me. My husband says that God has a reason for me to be there still. Yeah it's all a game to Him I said, just because I am so frustrated. People are able to afford a new house, mine costs over $700 dollars a month towards someone else's morgage. Some get a new car, mine has a mind of it's own with a list of things that need to be fixed way too long to post. Oh and to top it off it doesn't look the best either. Someone I know is going to Mexico again, second time in a year and a half, which seems like a lot to me, with my idea of going to Mexico consists of going to white rock on a day that is actually warm enough that you won't have to wear a jacket.
Maybe I am supposed to be at my job for a little longer. My latest thing has been doing some soul searching. It took a while but I think that I am finding it. maybe if I wasn't there still I wouldn't even be thinking about soul searching. I love kids and want to be able to work with them. Become a nanny? I still want to go to school too. But can I afford to be a nanny and take a pay cut to do something that I love to do that won't stress me out and have me cry over almost everyday? The fact that I can't afford a house yet - I have a roof over my head, family and friends that love me and a relationship with Jesus that I am struggling to develope stronger with each chance that I can. I have Jesus in my heart. The car - it gets me from point A to point B (barely) and it fits my "niece" nicely. It is also totally paid off too so no worries about a lease payment or a loan payment there. Mexico - I may get there one day but memories can be made anywhere.
I know that there are worse things that could happen in regards to Murphy's Law but I am thankful that it hasn't.
I am reading a book by Phil Callaway called "Making Life Rich Without Any Money". When I first got the book I thought - yeah right, bring it on, I want to know this secret. The secret - Letting Jesus into your heart and knowing that He will take care of you. I am working on that. Why bother stressing out? I will still be here tomorrow and the specific probelm that has ailed me today may or may not still exist but why bother stressing myself out to the point that I am so sick I can't move? Probably cause I am only human and the little fact of doubt and uncertainty still lingers in the back of my mind. It is so hard to let it up and trust that what is happening may be happening all for a reason.
A teenagers suicide note to his parents said this "You gave me everything to live with, and nothing to live for" (Phill Callaway - Making life rich without money). Makes you think doesn't it? I have so much to live for that I can't even begin to list it all without boring each and everyone of you (if I haven't done so already).
I thank God that I have so much to live for and so many people in my life that love me and care about me. So I guess what I am trying to babble about here is that "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong" - if you let it.

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