Friday, June 06, 2008

Not that brought a tear to my eye....

we are supposed to be camping right now. But I just couldn't handle things and we came home early. On the way home I was just sitting thinking. On Thursday we got an ultra sound that showed an empty cervix. So the baby was not there anymore. They left me alone to look at that DANG picture for a bit until I was ready. I kept looking to make sure they didn't miss anything. As if they didn't know how to do their job!
So on the way home Cooper was in the back talking away.
"mommy otay?
"otay mommy?
"sad, mommy. Otay? Otay Momyy. Baby?"

Then Phil and I looked at one another and Phil said, "Is mommy sad about the baby?" Cooper all sad like said, "yeah....."

Brought a tear to both our eyes. Well made me ball.......
How does he know!!!

Got this poem from a friend.....It made me cry but made me feel like I could deal easier. I am mad at God but am realizing that He did this for a reason. What I don't get is if He knows every page in our books why He would allow miss carriages to happen. I guess I am just at a stage where I don't understand.

In Heaven there must surely be
A special place, a nursery
Where 'little spirits' not fully grown
Go to live in their Heavenly home.

The angels must attend with love
Tiny spirits on wings of doves,
The choir of angels must sing lullabies
Maybe quieten their tiny cries.

The Father must come by each day
To cuddle and play in a special way
These tiny spirits left earth too soon
Little ones called Home from the womb.

These sparks of life did not perish
But came to the Father's love to cherish,
To grow and be taught in His own arms
Safely away from all earthly harm.

The comforter was sent to earth at once
To the parents who lost their little one
Their hearts so ache, t heir arms feel empty
The question 'why' seems so tempting.

Then all at once in the midst of tears
There comes a peace that stills the fears
The parents share the Father's own need
To hold their tiny spirit being.

They relinquish their own desperate hold
And release their baby to the Father's fold,
Then comes an angel to whisper the truth
Of a nursery in Heaven bearing rich fruit

Of tiny spirits chosen to worship the Father
A place that couldn't be filled by another,
Called to be spared from the struggles of earth,
Chosen to be one of Heaven's births.

So Father, whisper words of love from me
To our unborn 'life' in your nursery.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, your son figured that out? I'm sure he's a blessing to you during this time, even trying to make you feel better.
I can't believe this happens to 50% of births. It sucks. I know a lot of friends have miscarried but didn't realize just how many have to go through it. Life is so hard- argghhh. How come we picture marriage bliss when this is reality? Thanks for sharing your story and showing us a glimpse of real life!!