Friday, January 13, 2006

Insomnia

Not too sure if that is the right word and whether or not it is too strong of while but right now when sleep wants to elude me that is what pops into my head.
Husband sound asleep on one side of me. Cat sound asleep on the other. Then there is me. Wide awake, mind on overload, trying not to toss and turn too much so that I don't wake them.
Sometimes part of me thinks it is "Mother Natures" way of preparing me for when the baby comes. Here, get used to no sleep now because it will be a rude awakening when he is here. When the pain and my mind are quiet enough to allow me to go to sleep it is welcomed. I know that there are people out there who get less sleep then me and I really don't know how they do it. Then of course it is like you keep playing catch up to try and recover those lost hours of sleep. Lying there with my eyes close I try not to think. That is when the thoughts flood in. The worries. The pain. Too afraid to keep moving about because I don't want to wake my husband. Laying there trying to get to sleep and then realizing that it just isn't working I get frustrated and want to fidget even more. Then when you get frustrated you start to think too much. You think too much you start to try to process things. Nothing should be processed at 2 in the morning! So I move to the recliner or the couch in hopes that there would be comfort there. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes not so much.
Ah...It's all good. Just got tired of laying in bed so thought I would write it all out. Time for some sleep. Time to know when to shut my brain up. It's just the beginning...

3 comments:

Sue said...

when i can't sleep I get up and read for a while or go pray in the living room and watch the lights outside. sometimes just a wander through the house is enough, sometimes it's not. eventually it passes. you know that I am awake in the middle of the night on sundays and mondays anyway, and you know the number.

Susan Kirchmayer said...

yup - get used to it. its all about the baby....

Michelle said...

Hey, I could have called you!! I had trouble sleeping last night too. Payton didn't help matters of course but I get so fustrated when I COULD be sleeping and I CAN'T!! ARGH!!