Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Anyone got cheese for my Whine?

So yeah here I am about to whine, yet again. I do that alot. Ooops.
Today I have to go to the specialist again. I am such a baby. I am very nervous. I don't want the needle but do I take it so it may help in the long run? Last time the doctor missed and said "oh, let's try that again. Looks like I missed." Yeah easy for him to say, he's not the one getting the darn thing in the arm. It isn't a small needle either. At least it doesn't feel very small!!! Last time I cried like a big darn baby when I left the office. Couldn't even drive. Had to calm down first. It is tough driving with one arm. I could barely move my shoulder. Crappy.
I asked Phil to accompany me so that someone was there to hold my hand. Can I BE any more pathetic hey?? But he can't. Kind of a stupid request anyway. He would have to miss work and what sense does that make. Oh well, I guess all I can do is pray. Then cry afterwards and hope that no one sees me I am just nervous and this is my nervous ranting here. What if this time it hurts more? Darn it!! I need to be strong, I need to be tough but it is so hard.
I am so pathetic, I know, I know. I notice when things scare me I tend not to comprehend what the doctor says. It's like my mind is elsewhere.
Oh well.
Lord let me use the strength I know that you truly bless me with. Remind me of that strength and please let me feel you holding my hand during this. Amen.

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