Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Update?

So, I am not quite sure what is going on to be honest with you. I believe these have all been contractions but I am so tired and I have no idea anymore. I called my doctor yesterday to see if I should go and see her earlier in the week but she sent me over to L&D (labor and delivery). There are things happening but at the same time I may be a little dehydrated hence the number of contractions. I have no clue. I don't understand what they say.
I am feeling frustrated, discouraged and upset with myself. If I am not able to handle these contractions and their lack of intensity then how the heck am I going to be able to handle the full blown real things? Some of them put me into tears I think those are the stronger ones. I can handle it, persay, but it is just the feeling of being so tired. For some reason I almost feel like I am failing myself and the baby. The hormones are absolutely nuts! Crying at most stupid things.
Listen to me whine. Maybe my friends are right that I do that well.
I just feel like a bit of an ass going into L&D to be told that nothing is progressing or happening and to be sent home. I wonder what the nurses and my doctors are going to think.
The nurse yesterday said that she is not going to tell me that it is not real labor cause then next thing we know it will be happening. She isn't going to tell me it is not real either. Something is happening. So this could possibly be the beginning of labor? Pre-labor? Makes me wonder.
I just need to keep my mind off it. But it is kinda hard when I keep feeling the tightening and such and keep feeling him move. I have decided that I am not going to do anything unless the pain is crazy strong and I can barely move or else my water breaks. 23 more days. I can do it! So many have before me. He just needs to keep baking longer. SO even though I feel done and impatient to have him in my arms and know that he is ok I know that I need to be patient and it will all work in God's timing.

1 comment:

Kaylyn said...

On Mother's day 2004, which was on the tenth. I went every week for a month to L&D. The weekend before Brayden was born I knew my water broke. My 2 docs were in the hallway fighting over whether there were ferns in my sab samples. They look at it in a microscope and it looks like ferns your water has broken. My water only trickled. It was a high rupture. There for I did not feel a huge warm gush. Don't feel like you are feeling like you failed. You are unsure of the journey, one you have not traveled before. You will be a wonderful Mom.