Friday, February 20, 2009

Spiritual Battles

You know, I really am not sure what they are or even if I go through them. I am sure we all do to a certain extent.

I have noticed lately that I get really dizzy and to the point where I almost pass out. Then I feel like I have to leave the area or the situation. Last night was no exception. I take a class at the local church and I have been really enjoying it. I was standing there worshiping and the songs were great. Felt them in my heart so deeply. Then the tears fell. I was "worried" about someone seeing me cry and the dizziness was getting to me so I turned around, with my head down and left to compose myself.

I had dream after dream last night of fighting this fight. But it is the good fight. Right? The thing is that I know in my heart that this is the Good Fight. So I stand shaking but ready to fight. My suit of armor clad upon me.
I am looking for a certain verse about running the race and fighting the good fight and came across this verse. It seems pretty fitting.

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1Timothy 6:12

I want to be able to be like Paul and say these things. I want to be able to be a witness to Christ, to be able to stand strong and say "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2Timothy 4:7

So with perseverance I stand ready. At least I know I HAVE to stand ready. I can't stay stuck where I am. I have the good days and the bad days. I MUCH prefer the good days of being high on God. The speaker last night made a good point about how when you get in to the word of God the enemy sneaks in and gets you in your weak points. He hits you where he knows that your insecurities lie. Then it ends up getting you so lost and stuck in to the darkness that you become silent. Then the enemy is pleased because he has encouraged you to keep silent. To not talk to God. When you don't talk to God the enemy wins.

Satan sucks and it would just be better that he didn't exist but you really can't have one without the other. Unfortunately he does exist but with God's help we can fight. We can stay strong.

So upon closing I found the verse I was looking for. Today I will chose to let God do the healing. I know it won't be easy. I know it is going to hurt like hell. I know that I may crash BUT I also know that this is the good race and this is the good fight. God IS with me. He will NOT leave me. I have to remember that. Whether I feel Him here or not is irelivant, the fact that I KNOW He is there is what matters the most.
Our struggles on this earth are not against flesh and blood, but against higher things, more worldly things and spiritual forces. So today I will be trying to make a new choice. To stand ready to fight. With the armor of God protecting me. So I "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and [I will] run with perseverance the race marked out for [me]." Hebrews 12:1

I need to let go of the idea that I will do this alone because I won't. God is there, He is fighting with me and for me. He will send merciful peacemakers and people who will guide me and help me along this path. If I stop and think about that I know that it is already true. That He is already doing that. So time to grow up and fight the good fight! At this moment I stand bold (or at least try to anyway)and I will try. I will try to stop and be still in God.

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