Friday, January 26, 2007
our morning
we went to Adventure Zone with my moms group today. It is an indoor play area for the kids. It is pretty neat. Here are some pics. Cooper wasn't so sure about the ball pit! LOL. And also here are some pics of our walk in the park today.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Cooper Update
He sounds better this morning. He still has a bit of a bark but all in all it does sound better then yesterday.
Last night was a little rough. He had some trouble sleeping from 3am on. So he got up at 6 something and then he was playing and his head kept hitting the floor cause he was tired. I have only ever seen him do that once before. So about a hour ago I tried to put him to bed. He fell asleep about 30 minutes ago. I am hoping that he gets some good sleep.
There is just something about your baby being sick that just wretches you inside. Makes fears more hightened and you more alert. I asked God to keep me alert to Cooper's needs. I think He did.
He is really clingy today and tired. I hope he continues to get better. Thanks to anyone that cared and anyone who decided to pray. Means a lot.
Last night was a little rough. He had some trouble sleeping from 3am on. So he got up at 6 something and then he was playing and his head kept hitting the floor cause he was tired. I have only ever seen him do that once before. So about a hour ago I tried to put him to bed. He fell asleep about 30 minutes ago. I am hoping that he gets some good sleep.
There is just something about your baby being sick that just wretches you inside. Makes fears more hightened and you more alert. I asked God to keep me alert to Cooper's needs. I think He did.
He is really clingy today and tired. I hope he continues to get better. Thanks to anyone that cared and anyone who decided to pray. Means a lot.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
There is a seal in my house
nope it's Cooper!!
I broke down and took him to the doctors. I felt like an ass going in just in case it was nothing but in my gut I thought it was croup.
It all started this morning. Heard him crying mixed with the bark of a seal. Then later in the morning he coughed and still sounded like a seal. I reluctantly went in to his doc. He confirmed my suspicions. My little boy has croup.
Now I have to watch his breathing and cough. If either of them get worse we are supposed to go to the hospital. They gave him the medicine orally minutes after. The doctor called down to the pharmacy and told the perscription and I walked down there and sat for a few minutes. Then it was done. He took the medicine well. It tasted like grape. I tasted the little bit on my finger. The pharmascist was shocked at how well he took it.
So now there is a part of me that is worried. I am hearing the seal even when he breathes. Hope it goes away with the one dose like he said it SHOULD.
I called Phil and told him and he said he thought it sounded weird this morning and he even thought he heard something out of the ordinary last night. Parental instincts. He had croup come to his mind too. We were right. Wonder if God was trying to tell us that. Either way my insticts were correct and even though I was reluctant to go to the doctors I am glad I did.
Good thing though, his lungs sounded clear. That is good. Hoping that he will get better!!
I broke down and took him to the doctors. I felt like an ass going in just in case it was nothing but in my gut I thought it was croup.
It all started this morning. Heard him crying mixed with the bark of a seal. Then later in the morning he coughed and still sounded like a seal. I reluctantly went in to his doc. He confirmed my suspicions. My little boy has croup.
Now I have to watch his breathing and cough. If either of them get worse we are supposed to go to the hospital. They gave him the medicine orally minutes after. The doctor called down to the pharmacy and told the perscription and I walked down there and sat for a few minutes. Then it was done. He took the medicine well. It tasted like grape. I tasted the little bit on my finger. The pharmascist was shocked at how well he took it.
So now there is a part of me that is worried. I am hearing the seal even when he breathes. Hope it goes away with the one dose like he said it SHOULD.
I called Phil and told him and he said he thought it sounded weird this morning and he even thought he heard something out of the ordinary last night. Parental instincts. He had croup come to his mind too. We were right. Wonder if God was trying to tell us that. Either way my insticts were correct and even though I was reluctant to go to the doctors I am glad I did.
Good thing though, his lungs sounded clear. That is good. Hoping that he will get better!!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
OK so there is a good side
to Cooper waking up so early and Phil not working today.
We went for our first family swim. It was awesome. Cooper was so tired though. But he thought it was great fun.
Now we are home and Phil has gone out and Cooper is totally crashed with a full belly of warm milk and it is off to bed I go!!
Let's hope for some sleep!
HAHA
We went for our first family swim. It was awesome. Cooper was so tired though. But he thought it was great fun.
Now we are home and Phil has gone out and Cooper is totally crashed with a full belly of warm milk and it is off to bed I go!!
Let's hope for some sleep!
HAHA
SO TIRED
Cooper woke up twice last night then at 10 to 5 this morning. Has not fallen back asleep. This is driving me nuts.
I am sick and have a sore back and in all honestly literally have zero tolerance. What the heck did I do wrong? Nothing. I am sure that it is ok but there is a little voice in the back of my head that says I am a failure.
He has always slept through the night. We have been very fortunate. But all of a sudden these last two weeks have been crappy. He wakes up then one of us is in there on the floor so he can see us until he falls asleep. Well, mainly Phil. Cause I am tired of this stuff that I just walk out after calming him or try to let him cry and fuss it out himself. He is not hungry. He just ate. He just has this wrong assumption that it is time to get up.
I am at a breaking point and am tired of this. Just want my baby back. He slept better for naps yesterday and that was a good thing. It is said that if they nap well they sleep well. Well, Cooper proved that wrong.
Oh the joys of being a mother. Wouldn't trade any of it for the world but come on!! When is my baby coming back. I know just as soon as you have them figured out they go and change again.
So I am sure he is going to be getting up soon. He is SO NOT going to last until 9 for his morning nap. Today is going to suck! Plus I have to go to the hospital and get a x-ray on my shoulder and then go across the street and see the specialist. I am hoping I get some sort of answers. Am tired of the pain and the numbness. Can't lift my arm or anything without the darn thing going numb. Maybe it is my elbow. I don't know anymore.
The only thing that I know is that I am a whiney, over tired, cranky mother. This should be fun!
I am sick and have a sore back and in all honestly literally have zero tolerance. What the heck did I do wrong? Nothing. I am sure that it is ok but there is a little voice in the back of my head that says I am a failure.
He has always slept through the night. We have been very fortunate. But all of a sudden these last two weeks have been crappy. He wakes up then one of us is in there on the floor so he can see us until he falls asleep. Well, mainly Phil. Cause I am tired of this stuff that I just walk out after calming him or try to let him cry and fuss it out himself. He is not hungry. He just ate. He just has this wrong assumption that it is time to get up.
I am at a breaking point and am tired of this. Just want my baby back. He slept better for naps yesterday and that was a good thing. It is said that if they nap well they sleep well. Well, Cooper proved that wrong.
Oh the joys of being a mother. Wouldn't trade any of it for the world but come on!! When is my baby coming back. I know just as soon as you have them figured out they go and change again.
So I am sure he is going to be getting up soon. He is SO NOT going to last until 9 for his morning nap. Today is going to suck! Plus I have to go to the hospital and get a x-ray on my shoulder and then go across the street and see the specialist. I am hoping I get some sort of answers. Am tired of the pain and the numbness. Can't lift my arm or anything without the darn thing going numb. Maybe it is my elbow. I don't know anymore.
The only thing that I know is that I am a whiney, over tired, cranky mother. This should be fun!
Monday, January 22, 2007
In a good place
Was listening to our guest pastor yesterday and he was talking about Ruth and Naomi. How Ruth stayed with Naomi even though she didn't have to. She stuck with Naomi through her dark spots and hard spots.
He was talking about the trouble spots you may be in. The hard places that are dragging you down.
I have been in those trouble spots. The ones that feel like you will never come out of them. The darkness surrounds you. You think there is no way out and there is no light. You feel overwhelmed. You feel lost. Alone.
That is when it came to me. I am out of that spot. We are out of that hole. Sure I know that stuff will come our way again and there will always be trouble. Always stresses. Who knows I may sit here writing tomorrow about how I can't take something. Sure I feel at the end of my rope with Cooper's sleeping. But he is getting better (YAY!) and life just seems good.
I sighed. Thought about it. We are good. We are not in a hole. As of now we are good. We are happy. God pulled us out. Each and every time He pulled us through. We were broken and I think that we needed to be. We are learning our lessons but now we can see that there is hope at the end of this tunnel. That life is good.
What a relief. A weight came from my shoulders when I thought about it. We are not in a hole. We are going to be ok. Thank you Lord.
He was talking about the trouble spots you may be in. The hard places that are dragging you down.
I have been in those trouble spots. The ones that feel like you will never come out of them. The darkness surrounds you. You think there is no way out and there is no light. You feel overwhelmed. You feel lost. Alone.
That is when it came to me. I am out of that spot. We are out of that hole. Sure I know that stuff will come our way again and there will always be trouble. Always stresses. Who knows I may sit here writing tomorrow about how I can't take something. Sure I feel at the end of my rope with Cooper's sleeping. But he is getting better (YAY!) and life just seems good.
I sighed. Thought about it. We are good. We are not in a hole. As of now we are good. We are happy. God pulled us out. Each and every time He pulled us through. We were broken and I think that we needed to be. We are learning our lessons but now we can see that there is hope at the end of this tunnel. That life is good.
What a relief. A weight came from my shoulders when I thought about it. We are not in a hole. We are going to be ok. Thank you Lord.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Last night
was fun. Went to a stamp party with a few close friends. I loved the fellowship. It was nice to get away from the baby. I love him whole heartedly but it is the times when I am away from him, even when I know he is sleeping, that make me appreciate him so much more.
The hostess said to me, I remember the first time I met you. You got so frustrated and confused with this whole thing that you got up and walked out.
She has told me this before, almost every time I am at one of those. I feel bad every time. I didn't remember doing that. She is a sweet lady. Michelle proceeded to say, yeah I remember that and I remember saying, ok Misty see you later. Michelle said that she knew that was just me. That is what I did.
Geeee.......great........Nice to be known for that. Walking away when things get tough. Makes me feel about this (pinching fingers close together) big. I never realized I was that bad and I am embarased that I was and am. I don't really walk away as much now. I just try to tough it out and figure it out step by step. In any situation. My defense is to run. You know the saying, flight or fight? Yeah I am the one who takes to flight.
Although now I would like to pretend that I am not that bad. That I have come a long way. In my mind and in my nieve little world I have. I try to stick things out. I try to do the best I can. Yeah I still want to hide sometimes. I still want to run and the fight to stay is hard. I try so hard. I hope that I won't be remembered as the one who ran away cause she got too frustrated. I don't want to be that person. I want to be the one who stuck it through to the best of her ability.
I guess I have a lot of work to do. However, like I said, I would like to think I have come further then that now.
I love when she recalls that memory but inside I am so embarased and ashamed of that person. Maybe one day she will say how much I have changed. LOL. One can hope. She really is a neat and fun person. Just sucks that I gave a terrible first impression. Just goes to show that those first impressions last a life time. That was years and years ago. What are you doing to leave your first impression? Time for me to change.
The hostess said to me, I remember the first time I met you. You got so frustrated and confused with this whole thing that you got up and walked out.
She has told me this before, almost every time I am at one of those. I feel bad every time. I didn't remember doing that. She is a sweet lady. Michelle proceeded to say, yeah I remember that and I remember saying, ok Misty see you later. Michelle said that she knew that was just me. That is what I did.
Geeee.......great........Nice to be known for that. Walking away when things get tough. Makes me feel about this (pinching fingers close together) big. I never realized I was that bad and I am embarased that I was and am. I don't really walk away as much now. I just try to tough it out and figure it out step by step. In any situation. My defense is to run. You know the saying, flight or fight? Yeah I am the one who takes to flight.
Although now I would like to pretend that I am not that bad. That I have come a long way. In my mind and in my nieve little world I have. I try to stick things out. I try to do the best I can. Yeah I still want to hide sometimes. I still want to run and the fight to stay is hard. I try so hard. I hope that I won't be remembered as the one who ran away cause she got too frustrated. I don't want to be that person. I want to be the one who stuck it through to the best of her ability.
I guess I have a lot of work to do. However, like I said, I would like to think I have come further then that now.
I love when she recalls that memory but inside I am so embarased and ashamed of that person. Maybe one day she will say how much I have changed. LOL. One can hope. She really is a neat and fun person. Just sucks that I gave a terrible first impression. Just goes to show that those first impressions last a life time. That was years and years ago. What are you doing to leave your first impression? Time for me to change.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Frequent battle with Prayer
I know I may be nuts but why is it almost every time I try to pray there is a little voice within my head that says why bother? He isn't gonna answer it anyway. Who cares about the problems you are in right now. He isn't gonna answer them.
I know this is a lie. I know that He answers them in His timing and not mine. That is what can be frustrating most of the time.
This may all sound pathetic to you but here goes. I pray for Cooper to have a better nights sleep. And he doesn't. He is waking up like he is a few months old. I just don't get it. I will be sitting on the floor of his room praying for strength to get through this again. I will get through then I will thank Him. However, while I am praying it there is a battle ensuing. (I am sure I spelled that wrong!)
Why is it that I feel like there is no point. Why do I bother? I am not hearing the answers. I don't hear His voice. I used to think I did but lately I am not sure I am.
Last night I asked Phil to get up with Cooper and to do the crying round. I did the mistake of asking if he wanted to. You know what he said? Not really. Not really was his answer. What if I decided that I don't really want to do something around the house or for Cooper. Must be nice to make that comment. I talked to him about it this morning and he said he didn't even remember that. Either it is selective amnesia or he was really asleep. Which wouldn't surprise me because when I went into Cooper's room Daddy was instantly snoring. I don't blame him.
It got me wondering. Is God asking me if I want to do something and I am replying with "not really". I am gonna assume that it is totally non intentional on my part. I then start to wonder if my idea of not hearing God is just me ignoring him. Is He saying something and I am saying, "No God, not really. I don't want to right now." Ouch.
To think I am doing that hurts. Know what I have been discovering? It is easy to walk away. It is easy to stop doing the devotions or reading the blogs or showing a bit of myself out there for the world to see. It is a hell of a lot harder to come back. So then I go back to not doing it. It is so much easier to walk away. It is so much easier to believe that I have justifiable reasons not to read the devotions. To not read blogs. And that reason......they make me think. They make me examine myself and I don't want to go there.
I am a Christian. That means the road is easy now. Doesn't it? HA!!! Or am I? In my heart I know I am but am I showing it? I don't think so. I am letting myself be distracted. But it is SO much easier for me to do that. Then it is for me to sit here and fight the spiritual battle that ensues when I read His word. His message. I get dizzy.
When I pray I get lost. I forget what I was saying and I trail off. I know that He has the power to do anything in my life. That He has pulled me through countless times. What do I show for it? I walk away from the hard stuff.
I would say that I am going back there TODAY. I am trying. But to be honest it sure as heck ain't easy. What kind of example am I setting for my son? Sigh.....
So the battle of praying continues. I just pray that I will be stronger and get through this. I pray that I will be who I am supposed to be. I will pray that I will be a better person of God and to be a better example.
It starts with me, doesn't it??
I know this is a lie. I know that He answers them in His timing and not mine. That is what can be frustrating most of the time.
This may all sound pathetic to you but here goes. I pray for Cooper to have a better nights sleep. And he doesn't. He is waking up like he is a few months old. I just don't get it. I will be sitting on the floor of his room praying for strength to get through this again. I will get through then I will thank Him. However, while I am praying it there is a battle ensuing. (I am sure I spelled that wrong!)
Why is it that I feel like there is no point. Why do I bother? I am not hearing the answers. I don't hear His voice. I used to think I did but lately I am not sure I am.
Last night I asked Phil to get up with Cooper and to do the crying round. I did the mistake of asking if he wanted to. You know what he said? Not really. Not really was his answer. What if I decided that I don't really want to do something around the house or for Cooper. Must be nice to make that comment. I talked to him about it this morning and he said he didn't even remember that. Either it is selective amnesia or he was really asleep. Which wouldn't surprise me because when I went into Cooper's room Daddy was instantly snoring. I don't blame him.
It got me wondering. Is God asking me if I want to do something and I am replying with "not really". I am gonna assume that it is totally non intentional on my part. I then start to wonder if my idea of not hearing God is just me ignoring him. Is He saying something and I am saying, "No God, not really. I don't want to right now." Ouch.
To think I am doing that hurts. Know what I have been discovering? It is easy to walk away. It is easy to stop doing the devotions or reading the blogs or showing a bit of myself out there for the world to see. It is a hell of a lot harder to come back. So then I go back to not doing it. It is so much easier to walk away. It is so much easier to believe that I have justifiable reasons not to read the devotions. To not read blogs. And that reason......they make me think. They make me examine myself and I don't want to go there.
I am a Christian. That means the road is easy now. Doesn't it? HA!!! Or am I? In my heart I know I am but am I showing it? I don't think so. I am letting myself be distracted. But it is SO much easier for me to do that. Then it is for me to sit here and fight the spiritual battle that ensues when I read His word. His message. I get dizzy.
When I pray I get lost. I forget what I was saying and I trail off. I know that He has the power to do anything in my life. That He has pulled me through countless times. What do I show for it? I walk away from the hard stuff.
I would say that I am going back there TODAY. I am trying. But to be honest it sure as heck ain't easy. What kind of example am I setting for my son? Sigh.....
So the battle of praying continues. I just pray that I will be stronger and get through this. I pray that I will be who I am supposed to be. I will pray that I will be a better person of God and to be a better example.
It starts with me, doesn't it??
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
This is crap!!
My kid has been so out of sorts lately. He cries for naps. I had worked so hard to get him on a routine for nap times and he was doing really well. Now all of a sudden he sucks at falling asleep. He wakes for a hour plus at night.
Yeah, yeah, yeah............I know he is a good baby. Doesn't change or belittle the fact that this is taking a blooming toll on me.
I turned the ringer off on the phone. The stupid phone rang before it got to the turn off setting. Yeah it woke him. 20 minutes is NOT A NAP!! And now he will not go back to sleep.
That's it!! I am becoming a hermit and not coming out of my house! We will get this kid back on schedule. And by we I mean ME. It always is. Sigh.......oh well. Thank God I can be home with him and that Phil is able to provide for us.
Going to get my crank bucket up and deal with an over tired baby. Tonight should be fun!! Grrrrrrrrr
oh and on another note my stupid computer keeps rebooting itself. Need to get it fixed. Don't have any money to do that though. My burner isn't working. What if I lose all of Cooper's baby pictures.
Yeah I have had about enough!!!!!!
Yeah, yeah, yeah............I know he is a good baby. Doesn't change or belittle the fact that this is taking a blooming toll on me.
I turned the ringer off on the phone. The stupid phone rang before it got to the turn off setting. Yeah it woke him. 20 minutes is NOT A NAP!! And now he will not go back to sleep.
That's it!! I am becoming a hermit and not coming out of my house! We will get this kid back on schedule. And by we I mean ME. It always is. Sigh.......oh well. Thank God I can be home with him and that Phil is able to provide for us.
Going to get my crank bucket up and deal with an over tired baby. Tonight should be fun!! Grrrrrrrrr
oh and on another note my stupid computer keeps rebooting itself. Need to get it fixed. Don't have any money to do that though. My burner isn't working. What if I lose all of Cooper's baby pictures.
Yeah I have had about enough!!!!!!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
We got out and went for a family hike
we went up to Bridal Veil falls. It was a hard hike with the baby in the Snugglie. We think he is too big for it now. Gotta use the hiker backpack now. There are a lot of pictures the falls were half frozen. It was amazing. wanted to share
he found his string on his hat. started to chew on it. I love this pic cause you can see how blue his eyes are!
Daddy and Cooper on the frozen ice with the stream of water still moving beneath them.
Cooper was having fun
The half frozen falls
Can you see Daddy and Cooper. Bottom near the left.
Mount Ford on the way back.
It was a beautiful day. I loved it. One to treasure. Perfect.
he found his string on his hat. started to chew on it. I love this pic cause you can see how blue his eyes are!
Daddy and Cooper on the frozen ice with the stream of water still moving beneath them.
Cooper was having fun
The half frozen falls
Can you see Daddy and Cooper. Bottom near the left.
Mount Ford on the way back.
It was a beautiful day. I loved it. One to treasure. Perfect.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
This IS what overalls are for
isn't it?? I can't believe my husbands teeth are that strong!! Cooper loved it! Was laughing the whole time!!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Cooper's new car seat came
I called and asked for a replacement cause the tether strap was fraying and they sent me a new one! Cooper and daddy checked out the box
safe to play in!!
Just the right size for a Cooper!!
safe to play in!!
Just the right size for a Cooper!!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
My Utmost for His Highest today
Why Can I Not Follow You Now?
Peter said to Him, ’Lord, why can I not follow You now?’ —John 13:37
"There are times when you can’t understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification— to be set apart from sin and made holy— or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt— wait."
Peter said to Him, ’Lord, why can I not follow You now?’ —John 13:37
"There are times when you can’t understand why you cannot do what you want to do. When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don’t fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification— to be set apart from sin and made holy— or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God gives you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt— wait."
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Grace
To be honest I am not sure I am getting the full meaning of this word. I however can tell you what went through my head at last Sunday's service.
Pastor Susan was talking about Grace. How Christmas was over and done with but she walked out to her living room and saw a present under the tree. She went over to it and looked at the tag. The tag said
"To Susan
Love: God your Father."
She went on to say....."Hmmm...that's intreging let's see what is in it."
Upon opening the gift she saw a note. She picked up that piece of paper and it read:
"To my precious child. I am giving you the gift of my grace. My grace will cover all your sins, everything that has happened in your past. It is sufficient to cover everything you will face in the future. My grace will sustain you. Its a gift for you, its free. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything but just accept it. Even though you may not feel worthy to accept this gift – I am giving it you anyway. I love you."
You know what? While she was talking and reading about this my life was going through my head. A few years ago I was in a really tight spot. A black hole. A place I didn't think I would ever emerge from. And to be honest with you: I wanted to go Home. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go and be with my Father in Heaven. But God saw it another way. He brought pastor Susan into my life. He brought a lot of great ladies into my life. I began to realize and see that I was loved. I was wanted and God had better plans for me. That through His Grace this healing journey was begun.
As I sit here writing I feel a tug at my pant legs. I look down and a beautiful little boy smiles back up at me. No cares in the world. Just letting me know that he loves me. I smile back at him and he gets down and goes to play. Thanks Cooper. If I had gone through what I wanted to do back then I would not have my own little angel on Earth. I would have missed out on this wonderful blessing and opportunity. I would have let down my husband. My family. My friends. My Father. I am so thankful for His extended hand of Grace. He graciously reached for me and brought me to the place that He needed me to be.
Just this past year has been EXTREMELY rough. I am not going to get into it cause I feel that what I listed above was enough being real for now. BUT......I know that it is only because of God's grace that we have pulled through those spots and it is only by His grace that we are pulling through them now.
I remember someone once asked me how I knew it was God. I said I just do. No one else knows what I need and then we get the gifts that were given to us at just the right time. How the heck else can you explain it? It had to be God. There was no booming voice. There was no hellelujah moment. There was just all of a sudden what we needed at the time. Battling with this person I had to back away from the conversation cause I seriously felt like it was a spiritual battle. I couldn't put it into words. I couldn't explain it any other way but, It had to be God.
The things we received when we did had no better timing. No one else knew. We were silently going through it step by step but God saw it all. He provided too. With Phil working less hours once again I find that I am really not TOO stressed this time around. God provided last time so I just need to have the Fatih that he will provide for us again. That time and time again His never ending Grace will pull us through. I have to believe. I was there before. I was here before. I am here. He did it once I know He will keep doing it time and time again cause we are His. He loves us and He provides for us.
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, family that loves me and a Father that lifts us up and holds us tight. A Father that knows what we need when we need it. A Father that will be ever so gracious expecting nothing in return.
"is sufficient to cover everything you will face in the future. My grace will sustain you. Its a gift for you, its free. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything but just accept it. Even though you may not feel worthy to accept this gift – I am giving it you anyway. I love you."
Wow. He loves me even though I don't think I deserve it. He thinks and knows that I am worthy. I open the gift with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. Thank you Father for your Grace. That even though I am not worthy You give it to me with open arms.
What an awesome gift. I am thankful that I accepted it. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if I turned my back on that present and just walked away. Leaving it to never be opened. I love where my life is. I love being a child of God. I love being a wife, a mother, a friend. There is no where else I would rather be. No matter how tight or hard things are getting. I wouldn't trade any of this gift for the world.
Thank you Lord. I love You. Thank you for loving me.
Pastor Susan was talking about Grace. How Christmas was over and done with but she walked out to her living room and saw a present under the tree. She went over to it and looked at the tag. The tag said
"To Susan
Love: God your Father."
She went on to say....."Hmmm...that's intreging let's see what is in it."
Upon opening the gift she saw a note. She picked up that piece of paper and it read:
"To my precious child. I am giving you the gift of my grace. My grace will cover all your sins, everything that has happened in your past. It is sufficient to cover everything you will face in the future. My grace will sustain you. Its a gift for you, its free. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything but just accept it. Even though you may not feel worthy to accept this gift – I am giving it you anyway. I love you."
You know what? While she was talking and reading about this my life was going through my head. A few years ago I was in a really tight spot. A black hole. A place I didn't think I would ever emerge from. And to be honest with you: I wanted to go Home. I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go and be with my Father in Heaven. But God saw it another way. He brought pastor Susan into my life. He brought a lot of great ladies into my life. I began to realize and see that I was loved. I was wanted and God had better plans for me. That through His Grace this healing journey was begun.
As I sit here writing I feel a tug at my pant legs. I look down and a beautiful little boy smiles back up at me. No cares in the world. Just letting me know that he loves me. I smile back at him and he gets down and goes to play. Thanks Cooper. If I had gone through what I wanted to do back then I would not have my own little angel on Earth. I would have missed out on this wonderful blessing and opportunity. I would have let down my husband. My family. My friends. My Father. I am so thankful for His extended hand of Grace. He graciously reached for me and brought me to the place that He needed me to be.
Just this past year has been EXTREMELY rough. I am not going to get into it cause I feel that what I listed above was enough being real for now. BUT......I know that it is only because of God's grace that we have pulled through those spots and it is only by His grace that we are pulling through them now.
I remember someone once asked me how I knew it was God. I said I just do. No one else knows what I need and then we get the gifts that were given to us at just the right time. How the heck else can you explain it? It had to be God. There was no booming voice. There was no hellelujah moment. There was just all of a sudden what we needed at the time. Battling with this person I had to back away from the conversation cause I seriously felt like it was a spiritual battle. I couldn't put it into words. I couldn't explain it any other way but, It had to be God.
The things we received when we did had no better timing. No one else knew. We were silently going through it step by step but God saw it all. He provided too. With Phil working less hours once again I find that I am really not TOO stressed this time around. God provided last time so I just need to have the Fatih that he will provide for us again. That time and time again His never ending Grace will pull us through. I have to believe. I was there before. I was here before. I am here. He did it once I know He will keep doing it time and time again cause we are His. He loves us and He provides for us.
I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, family that loves me and a Father that lifts us up and holds us tight. A Father that knows what we need when we need it. A Father that will be ever so gracious expecting nothing in return.
"is sufficient to cover everything you will face in the future. My grace will sustain you. Its a gift for you, its free. You don't have to earn it. You don't have to do anything but just accept it. Even though you may not feel worthy to accept this gift – I am giving it you anyway. I love you."
Wow. He loves me even though I don't think I deserve it. He thinks and knows that I am worthy. I open the gift with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. Thank you Father for your Grace. That even though I am not worthy You give it to me with open arms.
What an awesome gift. I am thankful that I accepted it. I know I wouldn't be where I am today if I turned my back on that present and just walked away. Leaving it to never be opened. I love where my life is. I love being a child of God. I love being a wife, a mother, a friend. There is no where else I would rather be. No matter how tight or hard things are getting. I wouldn't trade any of this gift for the world.
Thank you Lord. I love You. Thank you for loving me.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Christmas
was good.
Cooper was spoiled. The morning of Christmas I was feeding Cooper in his room and just looking down at him in the soft glow of light that comes through his window. I just stared. I watched him. I talked to him about Jesus. I thanked God for His Son and I thanked him for mine. Then we went out and played.
We let Daddy sleep. This is one of the few years that Cooper doesn't understand opening gifts so there was no pressure to wake up Daddy. Cooper and I opened the last box in the kid friendly nativity scene that I bought for him from house of James. It is called "What God wants for Christmas". It is actually really neat. Can't tell you what is in box #7 cause it would ruin the surprise.
Then the "fun" started. He wasn't really interested in the gifts or opening them. Doesn't get that part yet. Then after lunch we went to Great Grandma's house and had some turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce. I love that part of Christmas. I must say it is my favorite part. Sitting down to a nice turkey meal. We went to my moms and I was so disappointed. She got this turkey loaf thing from M&M Meat's. Everyone liked it. It wasn't bad but to me it wasn't tradition. Didn't taste like turkey to me, it had stuffing rolled in the middle. The cranberry sauce was orange flavored. There was nothing there for me to really drink besides water. I don't drink wine and pop. She had no milk. I was so bummed. It was like it was all gone now. No more tradition. When I get a house one day I am going to do the tradition. Big turkey dinner with gravy, mashed potatoes (her's were dill flavored or something), veggies and normal cranberry sauce. I know I sound pitiful and pathetic but still. I wanted the turkey! I looked forward to that!!
Cooper got spoiled as usual. Here he is. Mom, open it this way! Here I will help you!!
Earlier in the day at Great Grandmas he just totally zonked out...(the mark on his cheek is from falling into the handle on the computer chair. I am sure there are many more injuries to come as he is trying to walk)
Daddy had been home all weekend and went back to work on Wednesday. We are missing him!! Cooper had a fever last night of 100.7 . I am sure that it doesn't sound high to you all but when he is right hot and you can feel the heat from like 4 inches from him it is worrisome (don't mind me in my jammies here. Definately look terrible and not at my best)But we put a cloth on the back of his neck and on his head and that seemed to help a bit. But he was up a lot last night.
It's so hard when they are this little and can't tell you what is wrong. He is whiney today and won't let me take the soother away. But he is playing so what is one day with the soother. I will "let" it.
All in all this holiday was nice. It felt like Christmas. We think having Cooper is what made it feel more like Christmas then any other year. Phil spoiled me with a new camera. I LOVE IT!! Except my computer is the next one that needs fixing. LOL!!
Oh well, I guess this is just a lot of mummble jumble but also an update. Haven't really blogged much lately. Anyway....hope everyone had a blessed Christmas.
Cooper was spoiled. The morning of Christmas I was feeding Cooper in his room and just looking down at him in the soft glow of light that comes through his window. I just stared. I watched him. I talked to him about Jesus. I thanked God for His Son and I thanked him for mine. Then we went out and played.
We let Daddy sleep. This is one of the few years that Cooper doesn't understand opening gifts so there was no pressure to wake up Daddy. Cooper and I opened the last box in the kid friendly nativity scene that I bought for him from house of James. It is called "What God wants for Christmas". It is actually really neat. Can't tell you what is in box #7 cause it would ruin the surprise.
Then the "fun" started. He wasn't really interested in the gifts or opening them. Doesn't get that part yet. Then after lunch we went to Great Grandma's house and had some turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce. I love that part of Christmas. I must say it is my favorite part. Sitting down to a nice turkey meal. We went to my moms and I was so disappointed. She got this turkey loaf thing from M&M Meat's. Everyone liked it. It wasn't bad but to me it wasn't tradition. Didn't taste like turkey to me, it had stuffing rolled in the middle. The cranberry sauce was orange flavored. There was nothing there for me to really drink besides water. I don't drink wine and pop. She had no milk. I was so bummed. It was like it was all gone now. No more tradition. When I get a house one day I am going to do the tradition. Big turkey dinner with gravy, mashed potatoes (her's were dill flavored or something), veggies and normal cranberry sauce. I know I sound pitiful and pathetic but still. I wanted the turkey! I looked forward to that!!
Cooper got spoiled as usual. Here he is. Mom, open it this way! Here I will help you!!
Earlier in the day at Great Grandmas he just totally zonked out...(the mark on his cheek is from falling into the handle on the computer chair. I am sure there are many more injuries to come as he is trying to walk)
Daddy had been home all weekend and went back to work on Wednesday. We are missing him!! Cooper had a fever last night of 100.7 . I am sure that it doesn't sound high to you all but when he is right hot and you can feel the heat from like 4 inches from him it is worrisome (don't mind me in my jammies here. Definately look terrible and not at my best)But we put a cloth on the back of his neck and on his head and that seemed to help a bit. But he was up a lot last night.
It's so hard when they are this little and can't tell you what is wrong. He is whiney today and won't let me take the soother away. But he is playing so what is one day with the soother. I will "let" it.
All in all this holiday was nice. It felt like Christmas. We think having Cooper is what made it feel more like Christmas then any other year. Phil spoiled me with a new camera. I LOVE IT!! Except my computer is the next one that needs fixing. LOL!!
Oh well, I guess this is just a lot of mummble jumble but also an update. Haven't really blogged much lately. Anyway....hope everyone had a blessed Christmas.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
from the Wishart family
May the joy of the season find many blessings for you all. May the rememberance of the birth of Christ find a way into your heart and give you peace as it did me. This morning sitting there looking at me little boy and telling him what today was (yes, I do know that he does not yet understand) I felt my heart grow bigger, warmer and fuller.
Thank you God for Your Son
May the joy of the season find many blessings for you all. May the rememberance of the birth of Christ find a way into your heart and give you peace as it did me. This morning sitting there looking at me little boy and telling him what today was (yes, I do know that he does not yet understand) I felt my heart grow bigger, warmer and fuller.
Thank you God for Your Son
Saturday, December 23, 2006
HI DAD!!
So today we were in Walmart. I was sitting with Cooper on my lap at the end of one of the shoe aisles and Phil was about 10 feet away trying on new steel toe shoes. Then out of no where Cooper said, "Hi Dad". Clear as day. Phil said, did he just say hi dad? I said, I think he did. There was a lady shopping near me and she said, OH YEAH! He definately said Hi Dad.
SO COOL!!!
SO COOL!!!
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Christmas
I always love it when I see this nativity scene go up. I think OH!! It's almost Christmas! I love how in a world where it is no longer "politically correct" to say Merry Christmas and you now should be saying Happy Holidays, one business is not afraid to show what it is really about. One business goes out of their way to make sure that this scene is up so they can show everyone that drives past this busy intersection what it is all about. See that little baby there? That is what it is all about.
Many, many years ago God gave us a gift of His one and only Son. This gift in turn grew and shed His blood on the cross.
I am really struggling with wether or not we "do santa" around this house. How do I explain why there is gifts? Well, God gave us a gift and the Wise men gave Jesus a gift. That could be the start. We are celebrating His birth. Our Savior. But it is harder and harder not to lean towards santa. He is everywhere. Then how do I explain stockings? This is a real struggle for me. It may seem petty and dumb to some of you reading this but it is real for me. I don't want it about the presents.
Thankfully I don't have to worry about it too much this year. Then what do I do when the Grandparents write something is from Santa? I just am not sure. Do I ask them not to? That would be hard too.
Anyway.....back to my point. I love seeing this nativity scene. I absolutely love it. It makes me happy and glow. Makes me all warm inside. It reminds me. It makes me happy that someone is willing to step away from the politically correct and go with the Truth. The way we know it and we believe. Thank God there are people willing to do so. I love it. I smile every time. Stuck at that red light I find myself gazing at it. Picturing what it would have been like. Words can't even describe it.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERY ONE!!!
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Cancer
That is a word that makes my skin crawl. It always has. I know that there are a few of you out there that saw that title and put up a wall and didn't want to read any further. I am one of those people. Cancer scares the crap out of me. I am a selfish person when I hear that someone has cancer cause I GET SCARED!! It's not about me. What about the person who has cancer? I bet they are scared out of their minds. I put up a wall. I decide that I can't and won't talk about it but there is a part of me that wants to reach out and be with those people. To help pray and be there. But I can't do it. The only thing I can do is pray.
I lost a friend to cancer 8 years ago. It took me 7 to finally accept and allow myself to slowly go through the grieving process. I know, this must sound pretty darn pathetic and selfish. I just couldn't do it. Everytime I thought about it I would remember his last breath. I would remember him looking at me. Every time. It never gets easier. His parents amaze me. They are so strong. I know that he is healed and in Heaven but I still have regrets and fears.
A friend of mine has cancer. They are very brave. They asked for God's strength. Not for a devine intervention to occur but for His strength. For His will to be done. Wow. I would be begging God to take it away. Stop it in it's tracks and I would be begging people to pray the same. This person is so unbelievable. SO strong and I can really learn a lot from them. They have total faith and trust in God and it blows me away. Yet here I am being pathetic and scared. I want to be there for them but don't want to have to go through it again. But God gave us friends to support us. This friend has a huge faith in God. Has trust in Him. Amazing. Even in the darkness of their life they still have the total reliance on Him. For His will to be done.
I am sorry that I am selfish and I put up a wall. I just do that. The wall helps me to not think about it. To not remember the pain and hurt. But that is wrong of me. I am not the only one that was hurt from his passing. So many people were.
I just wish that I could have the strength and faith in God that this friend has. I can really learn a lot from them. I pray for them and hold them up in faith but it just feels like I can never meassure up to theirs.
I always believe that Cancer is an evil. I always will. I would never EVER wish it on my worst enemy. Yet those I love and care about get struck down with it. Yet they get back up and continue going. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. I pray for healing. I pray for His will to be done but He knows that secretly I just want it to all go away. My friend, you are in my prayers and you amaze me. You are a good example and I thank you. I am sorry that I am so selfish. Forgive me. You are so strong and an inspiration.
I lost a friend to cancer 8 years ago. It took me 7 to finally accept and allow myself to slowly go through the grieving process. I know, this must sound pretty darn pathetic and selfish. I just couldn't do it. Everytime I thought about it I would remember his last breath. I would remember him looking at me. Every time. It never gets easier. His parents amaze me. They are so strong. I know that he is healed and in Heaven but I still have regrets and fears.
A friend of mine has cancer. They are very brave. They asked for God's strength. Not for a devine intervention to occur but for His strength. For His will to be done. Wow. I would be begging God to take it away. Stop it in it's tracks and I would be begging people to pray the same. This person is so unbelievable. SO strong and I can really learn a lot from them. They have total faith and trust in God and it blows me away. Yet here I am being pathetic and scared. I want to be there for them but don't want to have to go through it again. But God gave us friends to support us. This friend has a huge faith in God. Has trust in Him. Amazing. Even in the darkness of their life they still have the total reliance on Him. For His will to be done.
I am sorry that I am selfish and I put up a wall. I just do that. The wall helps me to not think about it. To not remember the pain and hurt. But that is wrong of me. I am not the only one that was hurt from his passing. So many people were.
I just wish that I could have the strength and faith in God that this friend has. I can really learn a lot from them. I pray for them and hold them up in faith but it just feels like I can never meassure up to theirs.
I always believe that Cancer is an evil. I always will. I would never EVER wish it on my worst enemy. Yet those I love and care about get struck down with it. Yet they get back up and continue going. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. I pray for healing. I pray for His will to be done but He knows that secretly I just want it to all go away. My friend, you are in my prayers and you amaze me. You are a good example and I thank you. I am sorry that I am so selfish. Forgive me. You are so strong and an inspiration.
Friday, December 15, 2006
This is pissing me off!!
Sorry for the words but it is. I guess I have no other choice then to switch to stupid beta blogger. I PERSONALLY do not like it. I am now not able to comment on any of my friends blogs. GRRRRR...........
I don't need people to tell me how great it is cause I don't like it. With the limited experience I have had I didn't like it. I am not one for change either. I like it the way it is!! I don't want to lose my background or anything like that. GRRRRRRRRR
I don't need people to tell me how great it is cause I don't like it. With the limited experience I have had I didn't like it. I am not one for change either. I like it the way it is!! I don't want to lose my background or anything like that. GRRRRRRRRR
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
I have to post this
Cooper in his Christmas outfit!! I will post our family pics when my photographer is done editing them :)
Such a "preppy" outfit but I LOVE IT!! Can't wait to show you all the rest of the pics when they are done!
Such a "preppy" outfit but I LOVE IT!! Can't wait to show you all the rest of the pics when they are done!
A gentle reminder
Thank you.
" This Jesus of my day and my imagination cradled my face with his left hand, and with his right he firmly grasped my shoulder.
They know I am not one to be trifled with, but these snakes and scorpions will not relent against you nor against anyone who chooses to follow me. This is hazardous work, but it becomes infinitely more hazardous when you don’t realize and draw upon the Authority given you over this pervasive evil. You need to get that concept and never let it go.
I know this. I just need constant reminders. Maybe you do too. I need to feel it and imagine it and understand it—that with each battle and subsequent victory, Satan falls as a bolt of lightning from the sky, just like that ancient promise, which, I suppose, isn’t so ancient after all. " So I Go
" This Jesus of my day and my imagination cradled my face with his left hand, and with his right he firmly grasped my shoulder.
They know I am not one to be trifled with, but these snakes and scorpions will not relent against you nor against anyone who chooses to follow me. This is hazardous work, but it becomes infinitely more hazardous when you don’t realize and draw upon the Authority given you over this pervasive evil. You need to get that concept and never let it go.
I know this. I just need constant reminders. Maybe you do too. I need to feel it and imagine it and understand it—that with each battle and subsequent victory, Satan falls as a bolt of lightning from the sky, just like that ancient promise, which, I suppose, isn’t so ancient after all. " So I Go
Monday, December 04, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Anyone want to see MORE pictures??
Just went outside with Cooper. The snow was perfect!! Not too soft or too hard!! Although he could barely move in the snowsuit cause it is too small!! LOL
http://miss-buggy.fotopages.com/?entry=1001290&back=http://miss-buggy.fotopages.com/
http://miss-buggy.fotopages.com/?entry=1001290&back=http://miss-buggy.fotopages.com/
What is your elf name?
Mine is:
Cooper's is:
Phil's is:
LOL!! Got a lot of funny names in this house!
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Cooper's is:
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Phil's is:
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LOL!! Got a lot of funny names in this house!
Crazy, crazy.....
going crazy.....
Stuck inside with a teething baby! The only reason why I say going is cause I got out yesterday, mind you it was to the dentist but I still got out while Grammy and Grandpa watched Cooper.
I am just thankful that he doesn't take the teething as bad as some other kids do.
sigh..........
Stuck inside with a teething baby! The only reason why I say going is cause I got out yesterday, mind you it was to the dentist but I still got out while Grammy and Grandpa watched Cooper.
I am just thankful that he doesn't take the teething as bad as some other kids do.
sigh..........
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