Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Amazed...Yet again.

As I sit here waiting for my son to try to fall asleep so that I can nap too I start to think about God. How amazing he is. How utterly cool He is.
I look at my little boy and am amazed at the gift He has given me. The life that He created within me so perfect and precious. How He can create such a beautiful gift and trust me enough and know that I am worthy enough to be blessed with it.
Yes, times are tough. Hard to adjust to having a baby around. Add the adjustment on top of all the other stuff that has been happening in the last few months and it can feel pretty darn overwhelming.
In my heart I have the faith in God and I believe that He will pull us through each step as we go. That if it wasn't for His mercy and grace there is no way we would be where we are now. It is only Him that keeps us going. From day to day, month to month. Yet my mind and my fear play with me. I start to worry. I cry. I breakdown. I know that He will pull us through so why the heck am I worrying? Human nature I guess.
I always wanted to be able to provide so much for my child. To do this and that. To live in my own home. But when I look into Coopers eyes while he stares back at me my heart melts. He isn't going to care if we own a house or not. Isn't going to care whether or not he gets to go to Disneyland. He is going to know love and that is what matters. Unending, overwhelming love and support. That is all he needs. That is what he will remember.
I catch myself crying when I look at him cause I just feel so blessed and am so thankful that God has graced us with such a wonderful, perfect and handsome son. I would go to the ends of the earth for this little boy. Jesus did it for me too.
I look around and I see what we have and I am amazed again. A roof over our head, food in our bellies and people who love us. That is really all we need too. God know what we need and when we will need it and He is giving that to us each and every day.
It totally amazes me at how powerful and awesome He really is.
My little angel needs to be cuddled so it is time for me to go.
Thank you God for being who You are and for blessing me in all I do. Thank you for Cooper, for Phil and for friends and family. Thank you for Your Son.

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