Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Wow...Stepped out of my comfort zone

Believe it or not I am a shy person. Those that know me well are laughing but also they know that at first I am pretty shy. This past Sunday I did something I thought I would never do. I prayed in front of the church!
Cooper got up that morning at 4:30 to feed. So I am sitting in the dark living room feeding my son and I wondered, who should I get to pray for offering today? Then I heard Him say it. "You do it" What? Was that me? No, it was God. No thank you I say. Not going to, too shy. Then ignoring what I was told I starting thinking about who to ask. Then I heard it again. "You do it. It is your turn." Then the argument started!!
"I can't do it!!"
"yes you can."
"Nope, nope I can't. I am too shy."
"try it"
"what do I say? How do I say it? What if I don't pray the 'right' way? What if I mess up?"
"ask Me for help and I will provide you with the strength you need."
"Fine I will try."
"That's my girl."(sounds lame, I am sure but that is what I heard. I can't forget it.)

So I finished feeding Cooper and put him back in the crib. Then I went on the computer. Sent out a prayer request. Tried to not tell many people about it cause I didn't want praise. I wasn't doing it for that. I was doing it cause God told me to.
I am not someone that will pray out loud in front of Phil or friends, let alone my church. I remember the ladies retreat I went on in 2005. My pastor, Susan, asked me to pray for breakfast. I immediately felt my face go red and said, me?? She looked at me and smiled and said yep, if you want to go to Costa Rica you need to learn. (Missions trip that I wanted to go on but never went cause we had a baby instead ;) ) So I prayed. Stumbled. Stuttered. I am sure I messed up but I did it. Said amen and it was followed by a loud amen from everyone else. Then that was it. I was done. No more.
HA!! So I thought!
Then I got the call. I went up on stage. Scared. Knowing that I had God's strength cause I was ever so week. I said, Good morning, let's pray. That is all I know. I even had to ask if I had remembered to say that. Yes I did. Amen. I didn't mess up. I was all clammy but I did it! Didn't mess up! I stepped so far out of my comfort zone that it wasn't even funny! But thankfully God had me in His hands while I stumbled outside of the zone I grew to know as safe.
I turned around to hand the mic back to our singer that day, Jill and I was looking around for her. Passed the mic off and was careful not to trip on the way off the stage. Just like I was when I got on the stage. Now that would have been embarrassing. I remember I kept thinking, what if I trip? But I didn't. So I went to leave the stage. I don't know, would you call it stage left?? I look behind the curtain and there is our Head Pastor Greg, standing there and he gave me the thumbs up sign. Made me smile.
I did it!! I stepped out of the comfort zone I like very much. I put all my trust and faith into God and I got through it! Now, I just need to focus on doing that in the rest of my life. I am trying. I will get there. Thankfully He is so patient. Stupid comfort zones!! I am glad I took the risk. It was worth taking for me.


Anonymous said...

You did great. I am terrified of going on stage. Some day I'm sure I will have to though!!

susanna said...

cool michelle - are you offering???

Anonymous said...

so NOT!!

Miss-buggy said...

Sounded like an offer to me!!

kristybox said...

I'm Catholic, as you know, so all of our prayer is pretty low key. It's great that you had the nerve to do that. I wouldn't have! In a baptism class, we were talking about praying with our kids, and I had to admit that I feel silly saying prayer with Ander. We have the nighttime prayer down, but I just cannot bring myself to say grace before meals (outloud, I mean) without feeling stupid.