Saturday, May 14, 2005

100%

Here's a question that was thrown out at the Grace Life conference this weekend:

Do you believe that God is 100% pleased with you?

My answer was a resounding NO!! When the question was asked I kinda bit my lip and sighed. Not wanting to even go there. I thought that I had succeeded. Was I wrong. Today the question was asked again. We were asked if we gave it any further thought. I just looked at my friend and laughed. We had given it thought and I had answered it. Rod (the speaker) then asked me what my answer was to that question. I hesitated. I thought about changing the subject, I am good at that. Thought about running away. Thought about hiding. Then I sat further into the couch and looked at him and said, "I have a one word answer for that one. NO!" He asked why?

Why??? Well, how could anyone be pleased with me? How can anyone accept me? You have to work so hard to please people in society that you aren't used to being loved no matter what. Parents judge. They tell you they love you but there is absolutely nothing behind it. Parents push and push for you to achieve more and more. Do better. Dress better. Talk better. Nothing is good enough. So how could I be good enough for Him? How can He be so pleased with me? I'm not, so no one else can be either.

The conference continued after much discussion. It was like that little light in my head (this little light of mine.......) was starting to shine. Getting brighter and more predominant. I was understanding. At the end of the conference I was talking about how when I hold my niece in my arms and when I look into her big, beautiful brown eyes. My heart swells with pride. She is beautiful. She is perfect and I can't be any more pleased with her then I already am.

I got a hmmmmm........
That is just like God isn't it? I please Him. Sure there may be times that I might make Him upset but I still please Him and He will always be pleased with me. That unconditional love for His child. The unconditional love rises again.

So sitting across the table with my husband at dinner we had a conversation about that. Funny thing happened, I am not so sure about my NO answer anymore. It seems like I am on a Tee-ter totter (don't know if that is spelled right, oh well) and I was standing at the one end, which was the no. I don't believe. Now I can physically feel like I am in the middle and slowly heading towards the YES, I believe. I believe that you, God are 100% pleased with me. Cool.

I am ready to be broken. I am ready to give up things for God. I am ready to accept that He is pleased with me. Anyone else???

2 comments:

Tysey said...

Count me in. I know God is pleased with me. He is the only one I can be myself around and still be loved and accepted. No matter what. I don't have to try to be anythibng I am not around Him

James Goudie said...

sí amiga