Tuesday, February 15, 2005


Tysey has an interesting blog about being tired of being herself. How many of us can truly say that we have been there? I think that I understand what she is going through. She seems to be struggling with the fact that she can't play the sherade anymore. I too, am usually able to laugh. I can make the girls at my work laugh as well, no matter how sad they may seem. But Tysey is right - who will make us laugh? We went to school together and she was always the one trying to make others laugh no matter what she was going through. She is such a caring person and she worries about others and was always there for us when ever we needed to just sit and cry. That's the kind of person she is. It doesn't take long though before we all get tired and want someone to care but are afraid to let them.
I think to some extent we all wear a mask and try to hide how we truly feel. Those that love us and know us just need to look into our eyes to see that we are not happy. God knows. I was told that God understands what we are going through. Even though you feel like you will never get through what is happening. I was also told that God will help us to get through it. Although it doesn't feel like it at the time. When you feel so lost and think that no one cares you will be surprised at the response.
Sometimes it may mean starting to share your secrets. Letting those secrets out. Cry. Scream. Laugh. God is there if you wait to listen to Him. He will guide you in the right direction. I am struggling with that right now cause when you feel so lost and confussed dark plays a major roll in not letting you to comprehend and understand that God will not leave. It's hard to let yourself be you. You want to help others but aren't willing to let them in to help you. The time has come to trust. Scares the living crap out of me but I know that I can't keep it in anymore and that maybe God is trying to tell me something. Time to trust Him and those He puts in your path.

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged" Deuteronomy 31:8
Easier said than done, isn't it?


susanna said...

yes, it is easier said than done. but its all about baby steps -learning to be vulnerable and trust people, a little at a time. masks are awful things to wear. throw it out, let the world see who you really are in all your beauty.

Tysey said...

Thanks, It's not that I don't trust people....okay maybe a little, but it's just I have been a person to count on for so long I don't know if I can let that gaurd down to count on others, makes me feel weak.

Miss-buggy said...

Tysey, I truly understand about that guard. Mine made me feel weak if I let it down, but believe me, you feel so much better when you do. Trust those that love you. It was REALLY HARD for me, but I am glad I did.